In this episode we go crazy! Jessica Misitano and myself have a conversation that truly goes on a Journey. She shares her opinions on the comedy scenes in Austin and Chicago. And her intense connection with Steve Perry. Hang on! Cause this episode switches gears like we are in the Tour de France.
- Trey
Follow Jessica:
https://www.instagram.com/jessicamisitano/
OB Links:
00:00:00 --> 00:00:02 You're a fat bitch. You know what? You're a piece
00:00:02 --> 00:00:04 of shit, dude. Fuck this place. Fuck you. Oh,
00:00:04 --> 00:00:06 God. I'm out of here, dude. Fuck this podcast.
00:00:06 --> 00:00:09 You suck at it. You're fucking poor. There's
00:00:09 --> 00:00:52 bugs all over the goddamn place. How you doing?
00:00:52 --> 00:00:56 All right. Thank you for coming on the show.
00:00:56 --> 00:00:58 Yeah, thanks for begging me with your life. Yeah.
00:00:59 --> 00:01:01 Yeah, no, I'm glad you signed the contract. Was
00:01:01 --> 00:01:03 that the big cock joke book? That was the big
00:01:03 --> 00:01:08 cock joke book. Thanks, Alden. Huge big cock
00:01:08 --> 00:01:12 joke book. Yeah. Yeah, I want to do like shelves
00:01:12 --> 00:01:15 and stuff for like what people bring, because
00:01:15 --> 00:01:17 I like that people bring stuff. Yeah, bring their
00:01:17 --> 00:01:19 own. Merch and I feel like I didn't fucking bring
00:01:19 --> 00:01:21 anything. Did you have some simply Courtney's
00:01:21 --> 00:01:24 whatever the fuck that is? Yeah, his album has
00:01:24 --> 00:01:27 oh is that an album? Yeah, yeah, that's like
00:01:27 --> 00:01:30 a performance. He did. Oh, okay. Yeah nice. Yeah,
00:01:30 --> 00:01:32 it's pretty cool Yeah, I think I have some shit
00:01:32 --> 00:01:39 in my car. I'll just put it on your porch Yeah,
00:01:40 --> 00:01:43 this is pretty cool. This is from Peru. Oh nice
00:01:43 --> 00:01:48 little llama I don't you know, I don't know like
00:01:48 --> 00:01:51 I did ask them and somebody a tour guide did
00:01:51 --> 00:01:53 say the difference between a llama and alpaca
00:01:53 --> 00:01:56 But I don't remember I think I literally think
00:01:56 --> 00:01:58 that he's like, oh you eat one and the other
00:01:58 --> 00:02:01 one we use for the refer refer Yeah, and I was
00:02:01 --> 00:02:05 like, okay was he Peruvian. Yeah. Oh, yeah, this
00:02:05 --> 00:02:07 is actually in Peru. That's where we got that
00:02:07 --> 00:02:10 Okay. Yeah, it was a yeah. It was pretty crazy.
00:02:10 --> 00:02:13 It was a good little trip. You ever been international
00:02:15 --> 00:02:17 No. No, I'm thinking of going to Thailand, though,
00:02:17 --> 00:02:18 by the end of the year. So we'll see how that
00:02:18 --> 00:02:21 goes. Yeah. Why? Everything's expensive. Where?
00:02:21 --> 00:02:23 Oh, no. Why? Why? I have a friend that lives
00:02:23 --> 00:02:26 out there. She's like a white woman that, you
00:02:26 --> 00:02:29 know, fuck society. And then she goes off and
00:02:29 --> 00:02:31 lives in Thailand. I always wondered how, like,
00:02:31 --> 00:02:32 how it would be out there. You know what I mean?
00:02:32 --> 00:02:34 I know it's really cheap and she loves it. But
00:02:34 --> 00:02:36 then again, I don't trust anything anyone says.
00:02:36 --> 00:02:38 You know what I mean? Especially when it comes
00:02:38 --> 00:02:41 to comfort zones. Yeah. I think when you're like
00:02:41 --> 00:02:44 a little dainty white, beautiful white woman.
00:02:44 --> 00:02:46 Yeah, you're going to get treated well. You know
00:02:46 --> 00:02:47 what I mean? They're going to probably cattle
00:02:47 --> 00:02:52 prod my ass out there. Yeah, if I went out there,
00:02:52 --> 00:02:54 they'd probably try to put me to work. Yeah,
00:02:55 --> 00:02:58 me too. They'll put me in the field, dude. Okay,
00:02:58 --> 00:03:03 get out there now. Get out there now. My bad,
00:03:04 --> 00:03:06 dude. I'm on my way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:06 --> 00:03:09 Yeah, I've never really been out there. I've
00:03:09 --> 00:03:12 been to Hong Kong before. And that was really
00:03:12 --> 00:03:15 interesting, because I didn't know where to go
00:03:15 --> 00:03:17 in this particular thing, but nobody would speak
00:03:17 --> 00:03:18 English to me. And we knew that they kind of
00:03:18 --> 00:03:20 spoke English, because you just heard it. Yeah,
00:03:20 --> 00:03:22 they didn't want to talk to you. Yeah, they just
00:03:22 --> 00:03:24 didn't want to talk to me. But I was trying to
00:03:24 --> 00:03:27 ask for directions, just like, hey, where is
00:03:27 --> 00:03:30 this burger place? And they were like... And
00:03:30 --> 00:03:35 I was like, what? They were like... And I was
00:03:35 --> 00:03:36 like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like,
00:03:36 --> 00:03:40 do you know where to go? I was like... All right
00:03:40 --> 00:03:43 So we just kept walking and we ended up finding
00:03:43 --> 00:03:45 it and so it's just kind of weird because we
00:03:45 --> 00:03:48 went to China and then just ate pizza I was like,
00:03:48 --> 00:03:50 you know, like but you went to different color
00:03:50 --> 00:03:54 countries for American food No, not specifically
00:03:54 --> 00:03:56 for American food. That was funny dude pizza
00:03:56 --> 00:04:00 in China, bro. Yeah, but uh, no no, it was um,
00:04:00 --> 00:04:03 we were on deployment It was in the Navy. So
00:04:03 --> 00:04:05 that was like one of the first stops I forgot
00:04:05 --> 00:04:09 you're gay. Yeah. Yeah Oh, keep it coming. Oh,
00:04:09 --> 00:04:13 keep it coming. Oh, you. Oh, you. You know, it's
00:04:13 --> 00:04:15 really like, you know the difference, I don't
00:04:15 --> 00:04:16 know if you noticed where you're at, but when
00:04:16 --> 00:04:17 I went to the Dominican, I was there for two
00:04:17 --> 00:04:20 weeks, and I was, by the end of it, I think by,
00:04:21 --> 00:04:23 like, I think my seventh to tenth day there,
00:04:23 --> 00:04:26 I was like, okay, I'm fucking over Dominican
00:04:26 --> 00:04:28 food. They just, it's plantains and rice and
00:04:28 --> 00:04:30 pork and everything else, and so I'm like, god
00:04:30 --> 00:04:33 damn. I went to Mc-, finally found McDonald's.
00:04:33 --> 00:04:35 It was so, it was like, it was expensive, and
00:04:35 --> 00:04:38 then on top of it, their menu was weird. They
00:04:38 --> 00:04:41 had they didn't have like a standard menu and
00:04:41 --> 00:04:44 Yeah, and it kind of tasted a little strange
00:04:44 --> 00:04:46 to like the way that they gave me the fries they
00:04:46 --> 00:04:50 were more hand cut like The food was presented
00:04:50 --> 00:04:52 differently. I know you would think like it's
00:04:52 --> 00:04:53 American thing They could at least you know give
00:04:53 --> 00:04:55 us normal -looking burgers, and then I found
00:04:55 --> 00:04:58 a sushi place And I said all right Let me get
00:04:58 --> 00:05:00 this sushi, and they didn't really describe it
00:05:00 --> 00:05:02 so then I got the sushi and what was on there
00:05:02 --> 00:05:08 was fucking plantains and pork and I hated the
00:05:08 --> 00:05:10 Dominican by the time I left. It was just rice
00:05:10 --> 00:05:13 with like plantain. I was so pissed. Like what
00:05:13 --> 00:05:15 the fuck is this? Yeah, I mean I ate it because
00:05:15 --> 00:05:18 it looks like sushi, but yeah, okay, but with
00:05:18 --> 00:05:21 plantain. It's crazy. Everywhere you go is fucking
00:05:21 --> 00:05:24 plantain. Mexican bananas. They sell fruit on
00:05:24 --> 00:05:25 the side of the road and I bought that and I
00:05:25 --> 00:05:27 got sick from it. So you're not supposed to do
00:05:27 --> 00:05:29 that. Yeah, you're not supposed to like eating
00:05:29 --> 00:05:32 their fruits fine, but when they cut it and stuff
00:05:32 --> 00:05:35 like that, yeah, like their hand cut fruit and
00:05:35 --> 00:05:37 like their water. I didn't drink the water. Mmm,
00:05:37 --> 00:05:39 but um, yeah, you know, I wouldn't do that either.
00:05:39 --> 00:05:42 No. Yeah in India I almost made the mistake of
00:05:42 --> 00:05:44 eating the street food, but one of the locals
00:05:44 --> 00:05:47 was like no Yeah, he's like stop that don't do
00:05:47 --> 00:05:52 that. You can't do that. I was like Yeah, you
00:05:52 --> 00:05:54 know the ones like okay, and I didn't do it and
00:05:54 --> 00:05:56 I didn't get sick actually Yeah, so he'd probably
00:05:56 --> 00:05:59 saved my life probably saved your ass. Yeah The
00:05:59 --> 00:06:02 Santa well, it's not just like the sanitation
00:06:02 --> 00:06:04 conditions are gonna be vastly different. It's
00:06:04 --> 00:06:06 just we're not used to the bacteria and the stuff
00:06:06 --> 00:06:09 that's in their food, like the stuff that, and
00:06:09 --> 00:06:11 I wonder if it's like the same, I'm sure that
00:06:11 --> 00:06:13 people that eat American food probably get sick.
00:06:14 --> 00:06:16 I imagine, I don't think we have, we're like,
00:06:16 --> 00:06:19 we're not pristine over here, okay, we stuff
00:06:19 --> 00:06:21 our shit with chemicals and fillers and stuff
00:06:21 --> 00:06:23 and we're used to it, that's why we all look
00:06:23 --> 00:06:27 bloated and sick. Yeah. You know, that hurt me
00:06:27 --> 00:06:34 too, don't worry. Zoom out. Zoom out, yeah. It's
00:06:34 --> 00:06:37 like, damn it. But no, I know what you mean,
00:06:37 --> 00:06:39 because I remember when we did go to Europe.
00:06:40 --> 00:06:42 Specifically Spain because everything is like
00:06:42 --> 00:06:44 really like well done there, you know all that
00:06:44 --> 00:06:46 good stuff And then you come back and like the
00:06:46 --> 00:06:48 first thing you eat you're like shitting for
00:06:48 --> 00:06:51 like a week. Yeah, it's it's really insane Yeah,
00:06:51 --> 00:06:53 but you get used to it, you know after yeah after
00:06:53 --> 00:06:56 you go you get over the diarrhea It's a very
00:06:56 --> 00:06:59 pleasant experience constipation then diarrhea
00:06:59 --> 00:07:02 and back to constipation. It's like yeah once
00:07:02 --> 00:07:05 your body Once you adjust then you progress and
00:07:05 --> 00:07:07 you start buying pills off of a guy at the corner
00:07:07 --> 00:07:10 of a you know liquor store out there That's what
00:07:10 --> 00:07:13 exactly it's like then you walk around like that
00:07:13 --> 00:07:17 Hey, all right guys. Yeah, it won't go down.
00:07:17 --> 00:07:20 Yeah, it's been two weeks So but uh, yeah, so
00:07:20 --> 00:07:23 what's like the cuisine that you would have if
00:07:23 --> 00:07:30 you went to Chicago? What is like? I would say
00:07:30 --> 00:07:34 if I was if I was there and I was entertaining
00:07:34 --> 00:07:35 people and I wanted something that I can't get
00:07:35 --> 00:07:38 anywhere else I would probably get like their
00:07:38 --> 00:07:41 street hot dogs because I I've been to New York
00:07:41 --> 00:07:43 and I've tried hot dogs from other places. They
00:07:43 --> 00:07:45 add all this crazy shit to it. But I think everyone
00:07:45 --> 00:07:50 that's grown up in a city like that, they're
00:07:50 --> 00:07:51 going to have their way of their preferences
00:07:51 --> 00:07:53 for hot dogs. But for me, it's like, yeah, just
00:07:53 --> 00:07:56 put on some relish and some peppers. You can
00:07:56 --> 00:08:00 buy good street hot dogs that are rolled up with
00:08:00 --> 00:08:03 fries for like $8. Rolled up with fries? Yeah,
00:08:03 --> 00:08:05 with fries, dude. Yeah, there's this place next
00:08:05 --> 00:08:08 to this, the Lincoln Lodge, which is a club there
00:08:08 --> 00:08:09 that I like going to right around the corner.
00:08:09 --> 00:08:12 They'll sell it and they only take cash. And
00:08:12 --> 00:08:13 those are the best places. The places where they
00:08:13 --> 00:08:15 only take cash because they're not they're not
00:08:15 --> 00:08:17 fucking sitting here doing all this and they
00:08:17 --> 00:08:19 don't give you changes. Put it in their tip cup.
00:08:19 --> 00:08:22 But yeah, they'll give you a big old fucking
00:08:22 --> 00:08:26 fair. But I get I love Polish sausage. Polish
00:08:26 --> 00:08:29 sausage. Oh, what's what's different about that?
00:08:29 --> 00:08:32 I don't think I even know. Have you had Italian
00:08:32 --> 00:08:37 sausage? Whoa. Yeah, okay. Oh shit. Anyway. Yeah,
00:08:37 --> 00:08:41 it's like that except, you know, it's Polish,
00:08:42 --> 00:08:45 you know. It's like Italian sausage, but it's
00:08:45 --> 00:08:48 Polish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I've
00:08:48 --> 00:08:50 ever even had a Polish sausage. You know, like
00:08:50 --> 00:08:52 those Italian sausages, those are, I love those
00:08:52 --> 00:08:58 things. Yeah, I don't know. It's so funny, I
00:08:58 --> 00:09:02 love it. Now you're like right here. Here's the
00:09:02 --> 00:09:04 thing guys, I always do that. I always talk really
00:09:04 --> 00:09:06 close thinking that's how you're supposed to
00:09:06 --> 00:09:09 do things. I don't know. I tell people, I'm like
00:09:09 --> 00:09:12 yeah, four to six inches usually. That's perfect.
00:09:12 --> 00:09:16 Never experienced that in my life. It's been
00:09:16 --> 00:09:19 only eight and up, dude. It's like, all right,
00:09:19 --> 00:09:23 there. That's my preferential. Yeah, just gaggers,
00:09:23 --> 00:09:27 absolute gaggers. Yeah, it's like, get it out
00:09:27 --> 00:09:29 of your mouth. You're not supposed to be. I know.
00:09:30 --> 00:09:32 I know that I'm smelling my own breath. Yeah,
00:09:32 --> 00:09:36 it's crazy. Yeah, no, I've replaced microphones
00:09:36 --> 00:09:38 in the past from people who've been like... And
00:09:38 --> 00:09:42 I was like, oh man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I
00:09:42 --> 00:09:45 got him on film. I'm gonna be like, you're in
00:09:45 --> 00:09:48 trouble now, but. Yeah. But yeah, so did you
00:09:48 --> 00:09:50 get your start out in Chicago? Yeah. Like as
00:09:50 --> 00:09:54 a comedian? I did. Yeah, what's it like out there?
00:09:54 --> 00:09:58 How's the scene? Is it rough, heavily competitive?
00:09:59 --> 00:10:01 Yeah, but like for different reasons like here.
00:10:02 --> 00:10:04 It's hard to compare it to because here They're
00:10:04 --> 00:10:07 very competitive, but there's something at stake
00:10:07 --> 00:10:09 whereas in Chicago. It's a lot more gatekeeping
00:10:09 --> 00:10:13 a lot more a lot of more people walking up walking
00:10:13 --> 00:10:15 around with their thumbs up their asses And it's
00:10:15 --> 00:10:17 like a good scene. You know it's a good scene
00:10:17 --> 00:10:20 You know yeah, I think I got a buddy of mine
00:10:20 --> 00:10:23 up there. I think that's where he's at, but who's
00:10:23 --> 00:10:28 your buddy um Actually You're not that good of
00:10:28 --> 00:10:31 friends, huh? Well, it was a long time, because
00:10:31 --> 00:10:35 the last time I even exchanged any information
00:10:35 --> 00:10:37 with him, it was pretty much, it was back in
00:10:37 --> 00:10:41 the Navy. So I was back in 2009, I think. Oh.
00:10:41 --> 00:10:44 Yeah, so it's been a while. OK. But yeah, no,
00:10:44 --> 00:10:47 I think he's just kind of getting his start up
00:10:47 --> 00:10:50 there. Oh. Yeah, yeah. So would you have any
00:10:50 --> 00:10:52 advice for people just getting started up in
00:10:52 --> 00:10:58 the Chicago scene? I mean, Chicago, no, not so
00:10:58 --> 00:11:02 much. It's kind of like if you're going to do
00:11:02 --> 00:11:04 it, then do it because you want to do comedy
00:11:04 --> 00:11:08 and not to try and get famous. Yeah. That's the
00:11:08 --> 00:11:11 only thing that I can see because it's so unfortunate
00:11:11 --> 00:11:13 because that's what you see most people most
00:11:13 --> 00:11:16 people doing now is they're doing it because
00:11:16 --> 00:11:19 they just want fame. Yeah. And so like the comedy
00:11:19 --> 00:11:21 itself is suffering because they're going for
00:11:21 --> 00:11:23 topical jokes or stuff that they can make very
00:11:23 --> 00:11:26 quick and they're not thinking of the longevity
00:11:26 --> 00:11:27 of their careers, they're trying to get famous
00:11:27 --> 00:11:31 as quick as possible as soon as they can. Just
00:11:31 --> 00:11:34 the easiest way they can. And with having a social
00:11:34 --> 00:11:36 media following, you can fool a lot of people
00:11:36 --> 00:11:38 into thinking that you can do something you really
00:11:38 --> 00:11:42 can't do. So I think just making sure it is something
00:11:42 --> 00:11:46 you want to do, it's not a glamorous lifestyle
00:11:46 --> 00:11:50 by any means. It's an awful, fucking awful lifestyle.
00:11:50 --> 00:11:52 And not a lot of people can handle it. That's
00:11:52 --> 00:11:54 why so many of them leave, women especially.
00:11:55 --> 00:11:58 Women. A lot of women quit, especially. Ones
00:11:58 --> 00:12:01 that would otherwise be really good, but you
00:12:01 --> 00:12:03 deal with a lot of harassment, you deal with
00:12:03 --> 00:12:06 a lot of undermining, you deal with a lot of
00:12:06 --> 00:12:12 people that try to intimidate you, and I think...
00:12:11 --> 00:12:14 A lot of men that do comedy are very, very insecure
00:12:14 --> 00:12:18 people, and they for some reason feel like, this
00:12:18 --> 00:12:21 is what men do, women aren't funny. Those motherfuckers
00:12:21 --> 00:12:24 are the ones that are, they're such cocksuckers.
00:12:25 --> 00:12:27 They're such cocksuckers, man. They really have
00:12:27 --> 00:12:29 people out there like that? A lot of them. No
00:12:29 --> 00:12:31 shit. A lot of them. And you don't hear stories
00:12:31 --> 00:12:32 about it because they made those women quit.
00:12:33 --> 00:12:35 No way. You know what I mean? It's like all it
00:12:35 --> 00:12:38 takes is a touch, a comment, someone trying to
00:12:38 --> 00:12:42 back someone into a corner. make them feel bad
00:12:42 --> 00:12:45 for just having a vag. It's crazy what women
00:12:45 --> 00:12:47 deal with on the scene. And I'm not even like
00:12:47 --> 00:12:49 a feminist type of person. I've never been that
00:12:49 --> 00:12:51 kind of person. But I ask, like when women say,
00:12:51 --> 00:12:53 oh yeah, that person is a piece of shit. I believe
00:12:53 --> 00:12:56 them 100%. Because I've dealt with that myself.
00:12:56 --> 00:12:58 And if you don't think I'm attractive, I dealt
00:12:58 --> 00:13:00 with it. So that tells you that it happens a
00:13:00 --> 00:13:04 lot. So. That's really fucked up. Was that something
00:13:04 --> 00:13:07 that you even had? any idea about getting into
00:13:07 --> 00:13:10 comedy? Was that even a thought at all? Yeah,
00:13:11 --> 00:13:14 because I had an idea about it and you learn
00:13:14 --> 00:13:15 pretty early that when you start going to open
00:13:15 --> 00:13:17 mics and people being like, okay, here's a woman
00:13:17 --> 00:13:20 coming up. I actually had that happen a couple
00:13:20 --> 00:13:21 of months ago and then I bombed my dick off.
00:13:22 --> 00:13:24 No shit. Yeah, I had a guy, and I had a guy that
00:13:24 --> 00:13:26 was hosting a show, and he was like, all right,
00:13:26 --> 00:13:28 guys, just, you know, we've had a lot of guys
00:13:28 --> 00:13:29 up here. It's time to bring up a woman. Well,
00:13:29 --> 00:13:32 you say that in front of a fucking fraternity.
00:13:32 --> 00:13:33 Yeah. What do you think they're going to do?
00:13:33 --> 00:13:34 They're going to get up, go to the bathroom,
00:13:35 --> 00:13:36 or they're going to talk amongst themselves.
00:13:36 --> 00:13:38 I'm not like, I... I'm so sorry about that. Yeah,
00:13:38 --> 00:13:41 the gnats. No, it's probably me. I take it so
00:13:41 --> 00:13:43 personal when... When bugs land on me like that,
00:13:43 --> 00:13:45 you know what I mean? Like flies? And I'm like,
00:13:45 --> 00:13:48 I know! Yeah, they get up there and fly off.
00:13:48 --> 00:13:53 You're gross! Nasty! Soap! Try it! They fly off.
00:13:53 --> 00:13:56 I'm like, oh, no. No, it's not you. I left a
00:13:56 --> 00:13:58 banana out, like, and they just, like, kind of...
00:13:58 --> 00:14:00 Oh, that's the worst, because then they... Where
00:14:00 --> 00:14:02 do they come from? I don't know. I know. And
00:14:02 --> 00:14:03 it's like, where do they come from? Where do
00:14:03 --> 00:14:05 they go? Yeah. Where do they come from? Cotton
00:14:05 --> 00:14:07 -eyed... You need a fucking bug zapper, dude.
00:14:07 --> 00:14:09 Yeah, no, I know. I put, like, one of those little,
00:14:09 --> 00:14:12 like, apple things out, hoping that they'd fall
00:14:12 --> 00:14:15 for it. Yeah. But I think they've evolved. Yeah.
00:14:15 --> 00:14:18 And they're like, look, a face. But yeah, I'm
00:14:18 --> 00:14:21 so sorry. No, it's not you. I've been feeling
00:14:21 --> 00:14:23 so bad. I'm like, oh my God. If I had a lighter,
00:14:23 --> 00:14:25 dude, I'd just burn it. You know what I mean?
00:14:25 --> 00:14:29 I'd be like... That'd be great. Little flaming
00:14:29 --> 00:14:34 gnats. Oh my God, that'd be fucking awesome.
00:14:35 --> 00:14:37 The flaming gnats. It's gonna be a new band.
00:14:37 --> 00:14:40 Yeah, the flaming gnats. Yeah, the flaming gnats.
00:14:41 --> 00:14:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I know what you're
00:14:44 --> 00:14:46 talking about though. Like when you say all that
00:14:46 --> 00:14:50 stuff about the women thing, because I have heard
00:14:50 --> 00:14:55 that myself at open mics. And I guess like, I
00:14:55 --> 00:14:57 just always thought like, I've seen like, I know
00:14:57 --> 00:14:58 a tiniest, I've seen that they put like, you
00:14:58 --> 00:15:00 know, women like up first and everything, like,
00:15:00 --> 00:15:04 you know, the Titanic, I guess. And then, you
00:15:04 --> 00:15:06 know, but I've heard that before. And I guess
00:15:06 --> 00:15:09 like, I didn't really understand, I didn't really
00:15:09 --> 00:15:11 see that perspective now, because I just thought
00:15:11 --> 00:15:14 I was like, maybe they're just trying to be funny,
00:15:14 --> 00:15:17 you know? Maybe it's something like, so do you
00:15:17 --> 00:15:20 and other women comics find offense in this kind
00:15:20 --> 00:15:23 of thing? It's not even so much about offense.
00:15:24 --> 00:15:27 I don't know why people think that they deserve
00:15:27 --> 00:15:29 it, a whole gender feels like they deserve it
00:15:29 --> 00:15:32 more than another one. A lot of comedy comes
00:15:32 --> 00:15:34 from trauma, and you really don't think little
00:15:34 --> 00:15:37 girls have been traumatized in their lives, you
00:15:37 --> 00:15:38 know what I mean? And that's why a lot of them
00:15:38 --> 00:15:40 talk about the things that they talk about and
00:15:40 --> 00:15:45 stuff. Mean it's it's gonna happen and but here's
00:15:45 --> 00:15:47 the thing and this is why I feel like it's why
00:15:47 --> 00:15:50 it's not talked about is It you kind of have
00:15:50 --> 00:15:53 to anticipate it and it's either you can adjust
00:15:53 --> 00:15:55 and fight against them in the end It makes you
00:15:55 --> 00:16:00 a stronger comic Or you don't do it, you know
00:16:00 --> 00:16:03 what I mean? Because there's the unfortunate
00:16:03 --> 00:16:05 caveat to a lot of that is if you say anything,
00:16:05 --> 00:16:08 they're quicker to get rid of you than they are
00:16:08 --> 00:16:11 to cancel the guy that does all the shit. Because
00:16:11 --> 00:16:13 then you're seen as someone causing problems
00:16:13 --> 00:16:16 as opposed to somebody that's like, yeah, he's
00:16:16 --> 00:16:20 kind of weird. But I think where I am comedically,
00:16:20 --> 00:16:23 I don't give a fuck anymore. It's like I'm not...
00:16:24 --> 00:16:26 Trying to get in all these clubs. I'm not trying
00:16:26 --> 00:16:27 to get accepted. I vote I've never been like
00:16:27 --> 00:16:29 that I don't I don't care about that kind of
00:16:29 --> 00:16:31 stuff We actually dealt with a guy in Chicago
00:16:31 --> 00:16:33 that's known to be a piece of shit and I fucking
00:16:33 --> 00:16:35 Quietly reached out to all the clubs that he's
00:16:35 --> 00:16:37 that and had him removed from it. I don't give
00:16:37 --> 00:16:40 a fuck. Oh That's good. Yeah, it's kind of like
00:16:40 --> 00:16:42 hey you want to do this quietly or I can make
00:16:42 --> 00:16:44 a video about it What do you want? Yeah, you
00:16:44 --> 00:16:47 know, yeah, I'm sick of this shit, dude And it's
00:16:47 --> 00:16:50 like once you once stuff happens to you this
00:16:50 --> 00:16:52 and that. I know, I know. I'm so sorry. This
00:16:52 --> 00:16:55 is so fucking embarrassing. I'm like, Oh my God.
00:16:56 --> 00:16:58 As you're talking, I'm like, yeah, it's flying
00:16:58 --> 00:17:01 around my face and I'm taking it so personal.
00:17:01 --> 00:17:03 Oh, man. I feel bad. Cause you're like, you're
00:17:03 --> 00:17:07 saying some good shit. You know, anyways, you
00:17:07 --> 00:17:08 know, it's just something that you have to deal
00:17:08 --> 00:17:12 with. Just picture that this net is a sex offender
00:17:12 --> 00:17:17 male comic dude. There you go. Oh my gosh. That's
00:17:17 --> 00:17:20 it. You can't get away from it. Oh my god. I'm
00:17:20 --> 00:17:22 so fucking sorry. Just imagine that, but it's
00:17:22 --> 00:17:24 a dick coming at your face. I'm just trying to
00:17:24 --> 00:17:28 perform. Right. What the fuck? Stop! This is
00:17:28 --> 00:17:31 my best joke. You're stepping on my punch line.
00:17:31 --> 00:17:36 Get away! Oh man. But you know, yeah, so it's
00:17:36 --> 00:17:38 hard for me to even say anything because I understand
00:17:38 --> 00:17:40 both sides of it and I understand that it makes
00:17:40 --> 00:17:43 you stronger, but... you know, at the same time,
00:17:43 --> 00:17:46 it'd just be nice to just be seen as a person
00:17:46 --> 00:17:49 and not like a female comic, because that's half
00:17:49 --> 00:17:51 of the comment, like half of my comment section
00:17:51 --> 00:17:54 is that. And it's like, I could be doing, I'm
00:17:54 --> 00:17:56 like, I don't feel like I do, I don't do standard
00:17:56 --> 00:17:59 stereotypical female comic humor, but I still
00:17:59 --> 00:18:02 deal with it. You know what I mean? Yeah, that
00:18:02 --> 00:18:05 just seems like, I don't know, I feel like a
00:18:05 --> 00:18:08 lot of guys don't have that. that kind of thing
00:18:08 --> 00:18:11 to even relate to or even think about. But I
00:18:11 --> 00:18:13 feel like if you're aware of it, you can definitely
00:18:13 --> 00:18:18 see it. Oh, yeah. It doesn't really like, it
00:18:18 --> 00:18:20 really sucks because it's like, why do you think
00:18:20 --> 00:18:23 that is? Why do you think that is even a thing?
00:18:24 --> 00:18:29 Why is it a thing? I don't know. It's like, you
00:18:29 --> 00:18:32 would really think that people kind of progress
00:18:32 --> 00:18:36 at least a little bit mentally. And I think it's
00:18:36 --> 00:18:40 a lot of It's just it's men being very very insecure.
00:18:40 --> 00:18:42 Are you talking about why men don't like female
00:18:42 --> 00:18:45 comics? Yeah, yeah Why are they either like either
00:18:45 --> 00:18:48 intimidated or why they make those kind of jokes?
00:18:48 --> 00:18:50 Like why does it seem like y 'all it's not really
00:18:50 --> 00:18:53 equal? It's because it's built on their insecurity
00:18:53 --> 00:18:55 because it's very strange because some of the
00:18:55 --> 00:18:58 most manliest men I have in my family, you know,
00:18:58 --> 00:19:02 I mean that do That do sports that own their
00:19:02 --> 00:19:05 own mechanic shops and they appreciate female
00:19:05 --> 00:19:08 comics, like all my siblings are into comedy
00:19:08 --> 00:19:11 and people that are in various walks of life
00:19:11 --> 00:19:18 that I see as masculine men. If one of them said,
00:19:18 --> 00:19:20 oh, women aren't funny, I'd be like, are you
00:19:20 --> 00:19:22 fag? Chill out. You know what I mean? Because
00:19:22 --> 00:19:26 for you to be that insecure about a woman having
00:19:26 --> 00:19:30 a sense of humor, that's crazy. It's a crazy
00:19:30 --> 00:19:33 thing to say. So, I don't take it personally.
00:19:34 --> 00:19:36 I don't really care that they say it because
00:19:36 --> 00:19:42 that just tells me that they don't have the bandwidth
00:19:42 --> 00:19:45 to entertain outside of, you know, what, dick
00:19:45 --> 00:19:48 jokes? Yeah. You know what I mean? Or just shitting
00:19:48 --> 00:19:51 on women? Yeah, when bitches are dumb and then
00:19:51 --> 00:19:54 they're like... I don't know. I've had a similar
00:19:54 --> 00:19:58 conversation about... Jokes and about like I
00:19:58 --> 00:19:59 guess like jokes that you see like sometimes
00:19:59 --> 00:20:02 in Austin. Yeah about it's just always like calm
00:20:02 --> 00:20:05 sex Trans like it's always seems like yeah, it's
00:20:05 --> 00:20:07 sort of centered around like the same thing But
00:20:07 --> 00:20:10 it's like at what point do you see like actual
00:20:10 --> 00:20:13 jokes? Yeah. Well, I mean those are open mics
00:20:13 --> 00:20:17 for you. Yeah So that you know that bitch that
00:20:17 --> 00:20:21 made that post about the Austin comedy scene
00:20:21 --> 00:20:24 That's been around the blue -haired purple -haired
00:20:24 --> 00:20:26 wherever the fuck she is Comedian I don't know
00:20:26 --> 00:20:29 if she does comedy. Mm -hmm, but making comments
00:20:29 --> 00:20:30 about the Austin scene There's an element of
00:20:30 --> 00:20:34 me that agrees with that because you know, there
00:20:34 --> 00:20:37 is no the thing that is lacking here. There is
00:20:37 --> 00:20:43 no ceiling There is no quality control Which
00:20:43 --> 00:20:46 Chicago has that's why I like Chicago. It's like
00:20:46 --> 00:20:50 if you have a Somebody that does the style of
00:20:50 --> 00:20:52 comedy that there is there. Mm -hmm. They get
00:20:52 --> 00:20:55 removed pretty quickly And here's the thing,
00:20:56 --> 00:20:58 and it's not that Chicago doesn't care about
00:20:58 --> 00:21:00 trans jokes or gay jokes or black jokes or anything
00:21:00 --> 00:21:02 like that. You can do the joke, but it better
00:21:02 --> 00:21:04 be fucking good. It better be good. It better
00:21:04 --> 00:21:07 be good. Like you can do the joke, you better
00:21:07 --> 00:21:09 make sure it's structured. And that there is
00:21:09 --> 00:21:10 a punchline, you're not just saying it to say
00:21:10 --> 00:21:12 it. That's what I like about Chicago is, you
00:21:12 --> 00:21:15 know what I mean? They keep their stages and
00:21:15 --> 00:21:17 you know, when... you're there, you're like,
00:21:17 --> 00:21:18 why are they fucking doing that? But then you
00:21:18 --> 00:21:21 come somewhere like here, and let me give you,
00:21:21 --> 00:21:24 for instance, like I'll do, I have a couple of
00:21:24 --> 00:21:27 jokes that I would say are falling in that line
00:21:27 --> 00:21:32 where they're more edgy. I did a show, and it
00:21:32 --> 00:21:37 was at some brewery, and two to three comics
00:21:37 --> 00:21:40 that went up before me touched on the same subject,
00:21:40 --> 00:21:45 but they just, they were awful. They were awful,
00:21:45 --> 00:21:48 just no reaction from the crowd. They'd just
00:21:48 --> 00:21:51 go up there and say like, yeah, fuck trans people,
00:21:51 --> 00:21:54 you know, black people. And by the time when
00:21:54 --> 00:21:59 I went on, when I brought up my jokes, it didn't
00:21:59 --> 00:22:02 do anything. And these are jokes that have worked.
00:22:03 --> 00:22:04 These are jokes I've been doing for a few years,
00:22:04 --> 00:22:07 and they have worked. You know what I mean? Sometimes
00:22:07 --> 00:22:08 they don't, sometimes they do, and it just depends.
00:22:09 --> 00:22:13 But the jokes have worked before. And... They're
00:22:13 --> 00:22:16 just, my whole set, just 12 minutes of flatlining.
00:22:17 --> 00:22:19 And that's because, you know, and there's another
00:22:19 --> 00:22:21 problem with is people don't know how to diversify
00:22:21 --> 00:22:25 their lineups. They think like, okay, this person
00:22:25 --> 00:22:28 does dark humor. We need to put four other comics
00:22:28 --> 00:22:32 just like them right before that. No! What are
00:22:32 --> 00:22:34 you talking about? You know, show structure,
00:22:35 --> 00:22:37 it's a wave, man. Like, you wanna put on somebody
00:22:37 --> 00:22:39 who you have to really pull in and listen to,
00:22:39 --> 00:22:42 then you put on somebody very abrasive, then
00:22:42 --> 00:22:43 you put on somebody light and airy, then you
00:22:43 --> 00:22:47 put on somebody who just does one -liners or
00:22:47 --> 00:22:49 really strong joke structure. You put on somebody
00:22:49 --> 00:22:51 so there's some diversity in it. And I think
00:22:51 --> 00:22:53 a lot of people focus, like, especially people
00:22:53 --> 00:22:55 that are like, we're being progressive about
00:22:55 --> 00:22:57 this, where they're like, oh, let's do, let's
00:22:57 --> 00:22:59 make sure we have a black guy and a Mexican guy
00:22:59 --> 00:23:01 and a gay woman and a trans person. It's like,
00:23:02 --> 00:23:04 no, no, no. just make sure that people's jokes
00:23:04 --> 00:23:06 are all, like this is why it's so important to
00:23:06 --> 00:23:08 listen to people's sets. So when I book shows,
00:23:08 --> 00:23:10 I don't book them unless I've heard them before.
00:23:11 --> 00:23:12 And I have to see that they've done well or I
00:23:12 --> 00:23:14 have to see that they're competent or I like
00:23:14 --> 00:23:16 them personally and I like. their kind of material.
00:23:17 --> 00:23:19 Because then you gotta like, there's an art to
00:23:19 --> 00:23:20 it. To make sure you're putting on a quality
00:23:20 --> 00:23:23 show, not just fucking six white dudes. Now if
00:23:23 --> 00:23:26 the six white dudes all had, you know, one did
00:23:26 --> 00:23:28 political humor, one was more slapstick, one
00:23:28 --> 00:23:30 did a lot of act outs, one did list, it's like
00:23:30 --> 00:23:32 if there was diversity in the lineup in that
00:23:32 --> 00:23:34 way, that's fine. You know, but you're seeing
00:23:34 --> 00:23:36 one, two, three, four, five, then people are
00:23:36 --> 00:23:39 afterwards, who did you like? Don't know. Yeah,
00:23:39 --> 00:23:41 cuz they're all the same. They all just kind
00:23:41 --> 00:23:44 of molded into one another and I've seen that
00:23:44 --> 00:23:47 before you know, and it's just it always it always
00:23:47 --> 00:23:50 kid is a little unnerving because I'd really
00:23:50 --> 00:23:53 try to steer away from those kind of things like
00:23:53 --> 00:23:55 this came for me It's like a boring topic, you
00:23:55 --> 00:23:59 know, but just just for me just for me personally,
00:23:59 --> 00:24:01 you know Yeah, so I was gonna give you a sticker
00:24:01 --> 00:24:08 real comics talk the talk You did say something
00:24:08 --> 00:24:10 in one of your posts about how you're like, yeah,
00:24:10 --> 00:24:12 I don't want to make any gay stickers and I was
00:24:12 --> 00:24:18 like Fuck I gotta fucking hide these I like how
00:24:18 --> 00:24:25 you flipped them over I'm holding a mic real
00:24:25 --> 00:24:28 comics. Talk the talk, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I think
00:24:28 --> 00:24:31 it's cool. You know, yeah, yeah ultimate cheese
00:24:31 --> 00:24:38 ultimate cheese calm Yeah, like you know just
00:24:38 --> 00:24:41 that's a AI little canva there, and you know
00:24:41 --> 00:24:46 bad joke yeah, yeah, yeah, do you uh do you ever
00:24:46 --> 00:24:49 like go up and Like roast the piss out of those
00:24:49 --> 00:24:52 comics if you realize like that you're on a show
00:24:52 --> 00:24:53 like is it just something that like you kind
00:24:53 --> 00:24:55 of? Actively talk about like one stage, or do
00:24:55 --> 00:24:58 you just try to give it your all? If they if
00:24:58 --> 00:25:02 they do a bad enough job to where I have to say
00:25:02 --> 00:25:04 something the audience has to also hate them
00:25:04 --> 00:25:07 mm -hmm It's like I did a show. I'll tell you
00:25:07 --> 00:25:10 this I I hosted a show that I had been bankers
00:25:10 --> 00:25:14 on and He not only bombed, but he started telling
00:25:14 --> 00:25:16 people to kill them like he had this girl He's
00:25:16 --> 00:25:18 like yeah, you should fucking kill yourself like
00:25:18 --> 00:25:23 it was Like I love but I love Ben so much. I
00:25:23 --> 00:25:25 think he's I think he's great I think Ben is
00:25:25 --> 00:25:29 great mm -hmm, but um I think that uh You know
00:25:29 --> 00:25:31 he made my job pretty hard. Sorry. I don't know
00:25:31 --> 00:25:33 I keep doing this I'm so used to doing that.
00:25:34 --> 00:25:35 I'm sorry, I should have told you. I was like,
00:25:35 --> 00:25:37 I'll be checking, but it's all good, you do your
00:25:37 --> 00:25:39 thing. I wonder if there's like a little thing
00:25:39 --> 00:25:42 that you put on here so people know not to get
00:25:42 --> 00:25:44 too close. And I need to just carry it with me.
00:25:44 --> 00:25:46 If not, I need to make one and carry it with
00:25:46 --> 00:25:48 me so I know, because otherwise I'm talking like
00:25:48 --> 00:25:52 this, like very, this is ASMR, you're listening
00:25:52 --> 00:25:58 to 98 .7, jerk off my dad. Ew, dude, don't make
00:25:58 --> 00:26:03 that sound effect. Chowder. Moist. Yeah, stirring
00:26:03 --> 00:26:08 macaroni and beans. Ew, dude. Gonna lick the
00:26:08 --> 00:26:11 palm first. Yeah, that's what my dad taught me.
00:26:12 --> 00:26:14 Anyways. Don't forget to cup the balls. Don't
00:26:14 --> 00:26:17 forget to cup the balls. That's it, that's the
00:26:17 --> 00:26:21 way you like it. Yeah, that's the good stuff.
00:26:22 --> 00:26:24 Yeah, that's the good stuff, dude. What were
00:26:24 --> 00:26:26 we talking about? We were talking about whether
00:26:26 --> 00:26:29 or not you roast... No, sometimes. If the audience
00:26:29 --> 00:26:31 also hates them and if I can think of something
00:26:31 --> 00:26:34 quick, then I'll do it. Yeah. But, you know...
00:26:34 --> 00:26:36 I would love to see that dynamic. I would love
00:26:36 --> 00:26:38 to see that happen and you get up there and overturn
00:26:38 --> 00:26:42 the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. It has happened.
00:26:42 --> 00:26:44 I've been having an issue with the last year.
00:26:45 --> 00:26:46 I've been really pulling my life together and
00:26:46 --> 00:26:50 it sucks. Yeah? Why does it suck? Is it just
00:26:50 --> 00:26:53 because you're just... Well, look at the reason
00:26:53 --> 00:26:56 why a lot of us are so funny. It's not because,
00:26:56 --> 00:26:58 for a lot of us, and I'm not talking about these
00:26:58 --> 00:27:00 people that have been sober their whole lives
00:27:00 --> 00:27:03 and are just naturally funny. They were the jock
00:27:03 --> 00:27:05 in high school and just have had everything given
00:27:05 --> 00:27:11 to them. I'm talking about people that were overly...
00:27:11 --> 00:27:14 You know, traumatize that, you know, have problems
00:27:14 --> 00:27:17 and their lives are shaky and things fall apart.
00:27:17 --> 00:27:20 Like when my life is going like shit, that's
00:27:20 --> 00:27:23 the best I'm doing comedically. That's when I'm
00:27:23 --> 00:27:25 the most creative. That's when I'm the funniest.
00:27:25 --> 00:27:28 That's when I'm the most presentable and outlandish
00:27:28 --> 00:27:31 and stuff. That's where I thrive is when my life
00:27:31 --> 00:27:33 is fucking falling apart. But now I'm not living
00:27:33 --> 00:27:35 in my car anymore. Now I have an apartment, I
00:27:35 --> 00:27:39 have a dog, and I pay my bills on time. I have
00:27:39 --> 00:27:41 a foam roller for my back to release stress.
00:27:42 --> 00:27:45 Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, a foam roller. Yeah, I'm
00:27:45 --> 00:27:46 listening. Do you know what a foam roller is?
00:27:46 --> 00:27:52 It's like a thick piece of foam. You roll it,
00:27:52 --> 00:27:54 and you lay on your back, and you just roll up
00:27:54 --> 00:27:57 and down. And dude, it's fantastic. I've been
00:27:57 --> 00:27:59 doing it every day. Release. Yeah, it's fantastic.
00:27:59 --> 00:28:02 And then I got one of those. Those acupressure
00:28:02 --> 00:28:05 mats, have you ever used one of those? No. It's
00:28:05 --> 00:28:07 like a mat that has all these prongs and it gets
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09 into your pressure points and you lay on it and
00:28:09 --> 00:28:13 it hurts for like the first 10 minutes but then
00:28:13 --> 00:28:15 your body gets really hot and then it starts
00:28:15 --> 00:28:19 releasing tension. Wow. So then I'll use that
00:28:19 --> 00:28:22 if I'm wired to the day, if I'm having a panic
00:28:22 --> 00:28:25 attack, I'll use that but I'll lay on it and
00:28:25 --> 00:28:26 I'll lay on it for like a half hour like when
00:28:26 --> 00:28:29 I'm watching TV or something. And then, yeah,
00:28:29 --> 00:28:31 and then I'll just pass out, go to bed and pass
00:28:31 --> 00:28:33 out after that. But that's what I'm doing, is
00:28:33 --> 00:28:35 I'm like, I'm paying attention to my needs, my
00:28:35 --> 00:28:39 needs in here. But it's also making my creativity
00:28:39 --> 00:28:42 suffer and I don't feel as funny anymore. Especially
00:28:42 --> 00:28:45 like standup, like, before I loved standup, I'd
00:28:45 --> 00:28:47 go on stage, I'm like, what's up motherfuckers?
00:28:47 --> 00:28:51 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, right?
00:28:51 --> 00:28:55 But now I'm doing well. Now I go up there, and
00:28:55 --> 00:28:57 it doesn't affect me the same way. And it's like
00:28:57 --> 00:28:59 I'll bomb, and I don't even care that I'm bombing.
00:29:00 --> 00:29:03 I don't care. But you don't think I'm funny?
00:29:03 --> 00:29:06 I know. I'm just gonna get through this last
00:29:06 --> 00:29:08 seven minutes. I've been up here for two minutes,
00:29:08 --> 00:29:11 but I'll make it quick for you guys. And then
00:29:11 --> 00:29:12 we're both sitting in this, and I feel like I'm
00:29:12 --> 00:29:14 just having a conversation, and they're interested,
00:29:14 --> 00:29:16 but they're not losing their minds. Like how
00:29:16 --> 00:29:19 they were, you know, how they would've back when
00:29:19 --> 00:29:22 I was, my life was falling apart. Interesting
00:29:22 --> 00:29:25 and it's this weird thing where I'm like, I don't
00:29:25 --> 00:29:28 know. Maybe stand -up isn't the thing right now
00:29:28 --> 00:29:30 Which is I think is okay. I feel like that's
00:29:30 --> 00:29:33 a lot of I And I've had this conversation with
00:29:33 --> 00:29:35 several other comics that have been fighting
00:29:35 --> 00:29:39 that feeling for themselves as well That are
00:29:39 --> 00:29:40 just doing it because at this point it's like
00:29:40 --> 00:29:43 they've been doing it so long Mm -hmm not doing
00:29:43 --> 00:29:46 it's weird. But now what I now what do I do?
00:29:46 --> 00:29:48 Right. Do I just get a job and make friends?
00:29:49 --> 00:29:52 Yeah Yeah, that's literally it. Yes, normal life
00:29:52 --> 00:29:55 shit No, you don't go out to a bar and you don't
00:29:55 --> 00:29:56 get drunk and hang out with the same comics You've
00:29:56 --> 00:29:59 seen every night for the last four years. Yeah,
00:29:59 --> 00:30:01 you kind of just go to work Yeah, and then write
00:30:01 --> 00:30:04 if you feel like it and then go to the gym make
00:30:04 --> 00:30:07 a meal and no don't fucking not Hot Pockets,
00:30:07 --> 00:30:10 you know, right put a take a goddamn vitamin
00:30:10 --> 00:30:13 Yeah, so kind of the normalcy sort of kind of
00:30:13 --> 00:30:16 dulls the edge a little yes It does but at the
00:30:16 --> 00:30:19 same time I feel really fucking good You know,
00:30:19 --> 00:30:21 this is the best I've ever felt. At the same
00:30:21 --> 00:30:24 time, I feel great. This is great that I've never
00:30:24 --> 00:30:27 felt so good in my life. That's awesome. No,
00:30:27 --> 00:30:29 I'm like, I'm happy to hear it too, especially
00:30:29 --> 00:30:32 because I remember hearing something about, you
00:30:32 --> 00:30:35 know, you living in your car, you know, and then,
00:30:35 --> 00:30:38 you know, I kind of literally think I wrote it
00:30:38 --> 00:30:40 down, but it's basically something you said about
00:30:40 --> 00:30:43 how like when, you know, responsibility becomes
00:30:43 --> 00:30:45 overwhelming and you tend to like kind of turn
00:30:45 --> 00:30:48 away from it. And I completely related to that.
00:30:48 --> 00:30:49 Because that's kind of something that, you know,
00:30:49 --> 00:30:52 I've done before, like in the past. But I love
00:30:52 --> 00:30:55 hearing that, like, OK, cool. Like, so you got
00:30:55 --> 00:30:58 an apartment, I guess. And I know you got your
00:30:58 --> 00:31:00 dog now. Yeah, my dog rules. And all that. And
00:31:00 --> 00:31:03 it seems like you're embracing that responsibility.
00:31:03 --> 00:31:05 Yeah, I like that. This is what I haven't been
00:31:05 --> 00:31:08 having for the last eight years that I've been
00:31:08 --> 00:31:11 doing stand up. Yeah. You know, I've been, you
00:31:11 --> 00:31:13 know, I'm in my 30s. I'm going to be 40 in a
00:31:13 --> 00:31:17 couple of years. Like, why? Like, the stuff that
00:31:17 --> 00:31:19 I did when I first started doing stand -up, it's
00:31:19 --> 00:31:22 not fun now. It's just not. Like, being out till
00:31:22 --> 00:31:24 2 o 'clock every morning, it's not fun to me.
00:31:24 --> 00:31:27 Sure, yeah. So I was, over the last few years,
00:31:27 --> 00:31:29 and I want to say this feeling that I've been
00:31:29 --> 00:31:31 feeling about stand -up in particular has been
00:31:31 --> 00:31:33 happening for probably the last, I don't know,
00:31:33 --> 00:31:36 three years. Wow. And I was fighting it and still
00:31:36 --> 00:31:38 doing it and still getting asked to do stuff,
00:31:38 --> 00:31:40 so, okay, so then I'm losing roast battles. I'm
00:31:40 --> 00:31:44 bombing on shows. I'm getting drunk on podcasts
00:31:44 --> 00:31:50 and just, like, being very, who cares? And I'm
00:31:50 --> 00:31:53 still showing up, but the energy's different.
00:31:53 --> 00:31:55 The energy's different. And I didn't want to
00:31:55 --> 00:31:59 say out loud that I don't feel the way about
00:31:59 --> 00:32:02 stand -up like I did in the first five, six years.
00:32:02 --> 00:32:05 Like, that was a good time. But now it's a lot
00:32:05 --> 00:32:09 of... You're not just performative on stage You
00:32:09 --> 00:32:11 got to be performative in front of people and
00:32:11 --> 00:32:13 with the friends you're making and and the connections
00:32:13 --> 00:32:16 that you're making and you have to show up on
00:32:16 --> 00:32:18 days where you don't feel good every single day
00:32:18 --> 00:32:21 and I still have my full -time job and You know,
00:32:21 --> 00:32:24 I'm doing it there and I'm also in my free time.
00:32:24 --> 00:32:26 I'm doing stand -up where I have to pretend Yeah,
00:32:26 --> 00:32:29 you know, I can't if I'm having a bad day. I
00:32:29 --> 00:32:32 can't show anybody and I still do it. I still
00:32:33 --> 00:32:35 I'll be a fucking bitch everybody because I'm
00:32:35 --> 00:32:37 just that kind of person. I can't I can't hide
00:32:37 --> 00:32:41 that kind of stuff, right? Yeah, so I don't know
00:32:41 --> 00:32:44 Lately it's been a lot of me listening to what
00:32:44 --> 00:32:47 I want a lot of me just wants to hey make funny
00:32:47 --> 00:32:50 videos and I don't even like doing that anymore,
00:32:50 --> 00:32:53 but I still do it and just you know, I'm writing
00:32:53 --> 00:32:57 a book which I'm excited about and then I'm watching
00:32:57 --> 00:33:00 I haven't watched TV and Lord knows how long
00:33:00 --> 00:33:03 so I started doing that again It's been a lot
00:33:03 --> 00:33:05 of that and going on walks and going to the gym
00:33:05 --> 00:33:09 and I'm meal prepping Yeah, no, you don't like
00:33:09 --> 00:33:11 you don't all these positive things us, you know
00:33:11 --> 00:33:13 That's what but that's really awesome because
00:33:13 --> 00:33:14 it's sort of like you're sort of figuring out
00:33:14 --> 00:33:16 like what you need and maybe that is this thing
00:33:16 --> 00:33:18 Maybe that's just what you're needing right now.
00:33:18 --> 00:33:22 Yeah, and I feel like what's most exhausting
00:33:22 --> 00:33:27 about a lot of this is A lot of like our job
00:33:27 --> 00:33:30 is as comedians is to observe the world around
00:33:30 --> 00:33:35 us That's how it is. I'm glad that it's fucking
00:33:35 --> 00:33:37 with you now. Yeah, he's fucking with me too.
00:33:38 --> 00:33:39 I'm like, yes, please come over here. Just leave
00:33:39 --> 00:33:43 her alone. Please leave her alone. Take me alive.
00:33:43 --> 00:33:48 Just leave her be. Women and children are supposed
00:33:48 --> 00:33:53 to be good. It's safe. But comics spend a lot
00:33:53 --> 00:33:56 of time observing the world around them. You
00:33:56 --> 00:33:59 know, we're trying to find the angle or the edge
00:33:59 --> 00:34:02 or the the thing what's funny about this thing?
00:34:03 --> 00:34:06 What's funny about this thing? Yeah, and really
00:34:06 --> 00:34:09 there's you know, you get tired of living like
00:34:09 --> 00:34:12 that Yeah, you're not experiencing life. You're
00:34:12 --> 00:34:15 observing it constantly you're picking it apart
00:34:15 --> 00:34:17 for what's ironic about a thing How about you
00:34:17 --> 00:34:20 just experience the thing? Yeah, I'm trying to
00:34:20 --> 00:34:22 sit here think about my life. Like what did I
00:34:22 --> 00:34:24 do her last you eight years? I don't know cuz
00:34:24 --> 00:34:28 I don't really I spent so much time reflecting
00:34:28 --> 00:34:31 on it and pointing out the humor in something
00:34:31 --> 00:34:36 that I can't enjoy a moment. Right. And that's
00:34:36 --> 00:34:39 pretty profound to even just realize that you're
00:34:39 --> 00:34:42 not focused on the things that you need and the
00:34:42 --> 00:34:45 moments that you're in. You know, it's like because
00:34:45 --> 00:34:48 you're so tenacious for this dream, you know.
00:34:49 --> 00:34:53 I think I did it. I mean, how was Only Bombs?
00:34:53 --> 00:34:56 Yeah, just watch. It's like a fucking jungle
00:34:56 --> 00:34:58 in here. Oh, my gosh. I was like, man, I need
00:34:58 --> 00:35:01 to get like fly traps, Venus fly traps or something.
00:35:01 --> 00:35:02 You should get one fly swatter. You should get
00:35:02 --> 00:35:05 a cool one and then make it zap and make it fun
00:35:05 --> 00:35:07 for everybody. Right. I know like little like
00:35:07 --> 00:35:09 the little paddles we could play like, you know,
00:35:09 --> 00:35:13 natal ball or whatever. But yeah, no, I was Yeah,
00:35:13 --> 00:35:15 so I normally don't really come in here until
00:35:15 --> 00:35:17 it's really time to film. Hang on, do you just
00:35:17 --> 00:35:19 have a laptop so you can watch yourself? No,
00:35:19 --> 00:35:21 just to make sure that I'm good. Normally I just
00:35:21 --> 00:35:25 unplug it, but yeah, it's there. That's how I
00:35:25 --> 00:35:27 have to... Is it still there? I thought I got
00:35:27 --> 00:35:31 it. Oh no, no, there's a lot of them. Oh my god,
00:35:32 --> 00:35:34 yeah, okay. Yeah, I don't like I said, I don't
00:35:34 --> 00:35:35 really come in here So I didn't realize how bad
00:35:35 --> 00:35:38 it was and I was like, oh fuck. This is fucking
00:35:38 --> 00:35:41 yeah, we're just being attacked You're sitting
00:35:41 --> 00:35:48 there trying to say some good stuff If you're
00:35:48 --> 00:35:54 happy and you know Yeah, I'm so sorry. I apologize.
00:35:54 --> 00:35:57 No, trust me. I had Bananas sit on my counter
00:35:57 --> 00:35:59 for three days. And they were black already by
00:35:59 --> 00:36:03 the time I realized it was an issue. And then
00:36:03 --> 00:36:06 I had all these fucking bugs in there. I get
00:36:06 --> 00:36:09 it. No, I get it. I got fleas of my own and everything
00:36:09 --> 00:36:14 else that I got to deal with. One of my girlfriend's
00:36:14 --> 00:36:16 friends, Stacey, she came over here the other
00:36:16 --> 00:36:19 night. And like she was really drunk and she's
00:36:19 --> 00:36:21 one of those like she's a partier when she gets
00:36:21 --> 00:36:25 drunk. Yeah. And she fucking comes over and like
00:36:25 --> 00:36:28 lets the dogs out and then leaves the the fucking
00:36:28 --> 00:36:31 door open. Yeah. And we so we're all like kind
00:36:31 --> 00:36:32 of chilling because my girlfriend she has like
00:36:32 --> 00:36:34 a little book nook like loft area and we're all
00:36:34 --> 00:36:36 kind of chilling. And then she goes down like
00:36:36 --> 00:36:40 we all go down like in a few like hours later
00:36:40 --> 00:36:42 to realize that the door was open the whole damn
00:36:42 --> 00:36:46 time. Yeah. You know. It was like it was like
00:36:46 --> 00:36:48 great now. Now. We got a jungle in here Yeah,
00:36:48 --> 00:36:50 yeah, and you or me are just with our little
00:36:50 --> 00:36:52 machetes. Yeah, they were just like they're just
00:36:52 --> 00:36:57 feasting on us like wolves. Yep Yeah, use this
00:36:57 --> 00:37:04 book. Sorry Alvin Alvin, sorry Alvin. Yeah, sorry
00:37:04 --> 00:37:09 Alvin No, it's uh, it's good that it's good.
00:37:09 --> 00:37:11 I know what you're talking about though On both
00:37:11 --> 00:37:14 sides because when I was going through like a
00:37:14 --> 00:37:17 lot of like heavy shit I did I went to like stand
00:37:17 --> 00:37:21 up and I had I had a ton of jokes during that
00:37:21 --> 00:37:24 time I kind of like, you know And I felt like
00:37:24 --> 00:37:25 I was coming up with like joke after joke every
00:37:25 --> 00:37:28 joke and then now I've noticed the same thing
00:37:28 --> 00:37:30 I'm getting more stable and I'm like, oh fuck.
00:37:30 --> 00:37:32 Well, what do I what do I talk about? Like I
00:37:32 --> 00:37:34 don't really have anything I don't know what
00:37:34 --> 00:37:36 to say anymore. So do you feel like you just
00:37:36 --> 00:37:39 you kind of need that chaos to write better or
00:37:40 --> 00:37:41 What were you thinking? What were you saying?
00:37:41 --> 00:37:43 I was thinking about dragons. You were thinking
00:37:43 --> 00:37:44 about dragons? Yeah, I was thinking about fighting
00:37:44 --> 00:37:47 them. No shit. I don't know where it came from.
00:37:47 --> 00:37:50 Probably the fucking gnats. Probably the fire
00:37:50 --> 00:37:52 -breathing gnats that I got going on here. You
00:37:52 --> 00:37:54 fucking think you're Daenerys up in this bitch?
00:37:54 --> 00:37:58 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sons of bitches. What flavor
00:37:58 --> 00:38:01 is this? Blueberry? Yeah, blueberry. Is it really?
00:38:01 --> 00:38:03 I think. Probably blueberry, blackberry. Blackberry?
00:38:03 --> 00:38:05 It's blackberry, blueberry. You fucking idiot.
00:38:07 --> 00:38:10 You know, hey, it's not my fault. I'm just I
00:38:10 --> 00:38:12 used to get that I used to get like that or the
00:38:12 --> 00:38:14 blue raspberry flavor Then I discovered men and
00:38:14 --> 00:38:16 I'm like man, you know, that's how I want to
00:38:16 --> 00:38:19 die You know like the mint ones. I do like I
00:38:19 --> 00:38:21 love the mint ones. Yeah, I've been particular
00:38:21 --> 00:38:36 to those I like my smoke to taste like blueberries.
00:38:36 --> 00:38:41 Or blackberries. I can't decide. My palate is
00:38:41 --> 00:38:52 too cultured. Here's bacteria. Anyways, yeah,
00:38:52 --> 00:38:55 but that's that. Yeah, so I've been writing a
00:38:55 --> 00:38:57 book and I'm excited about it I've been uh, I
00:38:57 --> 00:38:58 was about to ask you about that. What's your
00:38:58 --> 00:39:01 book about? Oh, dude. So it's a I'm really excited
00:39:01 --> 00:39:02 about that. You have you been following my Steve
00:39:02 --> 00:39:06 Perry lore? Yeah, it's been it's been amazing
00:39:06 --> 00:39:08 because I've gone through that before too. Yeah,
00:39:08 --> 00:39:21 that's why I wore my Journey shirt until now
00:39:21 --> 00:39:24 that's crazy. When I saw you wearing it, I was
00:39:24 --> 00:39:26 like, I wonder if she's gonna notice mine. Well,
00:39:26 --> 00:39:27 you have it covered up, dude. You're kind of
00:39:27 --> 00:39:30 ashamed of yourself. No, no, I always do this,
00:39:30 --> 00:39:33 because this shirt is actually really small on
00:39:33 --> 00:39:35 me. Yeah, it's a double XL, which I normally
00:39:35 --> 00:39:38 wear. But for some, you know, it's concert shirts.
00:39:38 --> 00:39:40 Yeah, concert shirts. That's why I never buy
00:39:40 --> 00:39:42 concert shirts, because they feel weird. They
00:39:42 --> 00:39:45 do. They don't feel good. And then they, I feel
00:39:45 --> 00:39:47 like they're always like built for men that are
00:39:47 --> 00:39:50 like five foot six. Yeah, just like skinny little
00:39:50 --> 00:39:52 men. So it's like I'll buy her shirt and like
00:39:52 --> 00:39:55 in a in shirts like I'm a large but in when I
00:39:55 --> 00:39:57 buy stuff from a concert It's like double XL
00:39:57 --> 00:39:59 and then this it's like it'll be fine here But
00:39:59 --> 00:40:02 then it's down to here and then it's tight still
00:40:02 --> 00:40:04 and it's weird. Yeah, I don't like it Or they
00:40:04 --> 00:40:07 or they get like super super like wide and I'm
00:40:07 --> 00:40:09 also like oh, yeah and long So but they don't
00:40:09 --> 00:40:12 have the double XL tees or nothing like that.
00:40:12 --> 00:40:13 Yeah. Yeah, so they'll make it wide, but it'll
00:40:13 --> 00:40:16 be a belly shirt Yeah, that's what this one practically
00:40:16 --> 00:40:18 is. Yeah, you might as well cut it into a crop
00:40:18 --> 00:40:20 top. I love that shirt though. Did you go see,
00:40:20 --> 00:40:23 you went to see them in 2024? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
00:40:23 --> 00:40:26 it was a good show. No Steve Harry, unfortunately.
00:40:27 --> 00:40:29 No, I know, he left in 1998 and they replaced
00:40:29 --> 00:40:32 him with a Filipino YouTuber. Yeah, I saw that
00:40:32 --> 00:40:34 and he was good though. He was but he doesn't
00:40:34 --> 00:40:35 sound like Steve Perry and everyone's like he
00:40:35 --> 00:40:38 sounds just like him No, he can hit the notes.
00:40:38 --> 00:40:41 I'll give him that but you know, yeah, I felt
00:40:41 --> 00:40:43 the same way I'm like, you know, he's good, but
00:40:43 --> 00:40:44 he's no he's good, but he's no Steve Perry and
00:40:44 --> 00:40:46 that's you know, that's fine It's fine. You're
00:40:46 --> 00:40:49 just you're he's I don't know but I'm more fan
00:40:49 --> 00:40:52 of Steve Perry himself than I am of Journey Yeah,
00:40:52 --> 00:40:54 like though I'm like cuz he hated being interviewed.
00:40:54 --> 00:40:56 That's what I like about him cuz like how he
00:40:56 --> 00:41:01 felt how he's how he felt about Journey is how
00:41:01 --> 00:41:03 I'm feeling about stand -up. I was like fuck
00:41:03 --> 00:41:05 this Yeah, you know is like I don't like I don't
00:41:05 --> 00:41:08 like doing this like this is fine Sometimes and
00:41:08 --> 00:41:11 I'm like fuck that yeah, you know is this so
00:41:11 --> 00:41:13 is that what your book is about um it's it's
00:41:13 --> 00:41:16 honestly it's more yeah also that and but but
00:41:16 --> 00:41:20 it's more of like a It's more like a psychological
00:41:20 --> 00:41:25 reflective Thing I'm writing on myself But I
00:41:25 --> 00:41:27 kind of framed it into a love story Right? So
00:41:27 --> 00:41:29 there's the part of me that writes about the
00:41:29 --> 00:41:32 mask, the person that performs, that puts on
00:41:32 --> 00:41:34 a face that feels like they have to act a certain
00:41:34 --> 00:41:40 way, but is not being how they truly feel. And
00:41:40 --> 00:41:43 that's the female who's like, you know, this
00:41:43 --> 00:41:46 person has to put on this mask and doing all
00:41:46 --> 00:41:48 this and, you know, it doesn't matter what she
00:41:48 --> 00:41:50 says, it's going to get twisted. And so then
00:41:50 --> 00:41:52 what? Then you're the subject of gossip. You're
00:41:52 --> 00:41:55 the subject of... headlines and things like that
00:41:55 --> 00:41:58 and then she meets this guy who is a lot more
00:41:58 --> 00:42:02 reserved and a lot more introverted and You know
00:42:02 --> 00:42:05 is pursuing the same thing But he all but he
00:42:05 --> 00:42:08 hates what he does and he just wants to not do
00:42:08 --> 00:42:10 it anymore and then they meet and it's like I
00:42:10 --> 00:42:14 don't know it's it's it's a it's a clashing of
00:42:14 --> 00:42:17 Defeating the man. I'm not explaining it while
00:42:17 --> 00:42:19 I'm horrible explaining things So if you ever
00:42:19 --> 00:42:21 see a movie, yeah, if I ever talk about a movie
00:42:21 --> 00:42:23 and you're like, what's it about? Don't ask me
00:42:23 --> 00:42:25 Because I'm just gonna say what I like about
00:42:25 --> 00:42:28 it and what I like just doesn't make sense Because
00:42:28 --> 00:42:31 I'm horrible with explaining shit. Oh now I just
00:42:31 --> 00:42:33 want to ask you like movies just so you can explain
00:42:33 --> 00:42:35 Yeah, if you tell me like what's it about? I'm
00:42:35 --> 00:42:37 gonna say I'm not kidding. Try me. All right
00:42:37 --> 00:42:39 Jaws. What's that about? It's about like this
00:42:39 --> 00:42:42 shark It's about like the shark and it's in a
00:42:42 --> 00:42:47 and I've seen Jaws so it's These people go on
00:42:47 --> 00:42:48 a boat and it's about the like just like this
00:42:48 --> 00:42:51 monster shark that kills people Everyone's scared
00:42:51 --> 00:42:54 of it. Yeah That's perfect. That's good. What
00:42:54 --> 00:42:58 about Tropic Thunder? I've never seen Tropic
00:42:58 --> 00:42:59 Thunder. You're gonna have to... I haven't seen
00:42:59 --> 00:43:02 it since, like, my... That was the last movie
00:43:02 --> 00:43:06 me and my dad watched before he died. And I don't
00:43:06 --> 00:43:08 remember the plot of that. But Robert Downey
00:43:08 --> 00:43:10 Jr. does Blackface in it. That's a good description.
00:43:11 --> 00:43:12 Okay. Yeah, give me a good one. Alright, let's
00:43:12 --> 00:43:19 see. The Notebook. Oh, it's about this bitch...
00:43:19 --> 00:43:21 who can't make a decision on who she wants to
00:43:21 --> 00:43:23 love. And so she falls in love with this guy,
00:43:23 --> 00:43:27 but he was too poor. So then she marries the
00:43:27 --> 00:43:32 rich guy, I think. But the poor guy still pursues
00:43:32 --> 00:43:35 her and she still loves him. And then I think
00:43:35 --> 00:43:37 she leaves her husband eventually for him and
00:43:37 --> 00:43:39 they both die. Yep, that's it. That's perfect.
00:43:40 --> 00:43:43 I love it. I don't know, man. I've been told
00:43:43 --> 00:43:46 I'm horrible at describing stuff. The woman is
00:43:46 --> 00:43:48 the mask that I wear in public, which is a very
00:43:48 --> 00:43:51 outlandish, say whatever, doesn't give a fuck,
00:43:51 --> 00:43:54 but secretly hates it. And then he is more reserved,
00:43:55 --> 00:44:01 but he is not, I don't know. He has trouble admitting
00:44:01 --> 00:44:02 that the thing that he wants to pursue isn't
00:44:02 --> 00:44:06 the thing he wants anymore. And I based my male
00:44:06 --> 00:44:08 character, I've been writing this book for a
00:44:08 --> 00:44:10 minute. and so I had an idea for it but I and
00:44:10 --> 00:44:12 I had her written out because that's when I was
00:44:12 --> 00:44:14 in the height of like doing Adderall and drinking
00:44:14 --> 00:44:17 every day and going out and when I'm on Adderall
00:44:17 --> 00:44:18 I don't recommend if you're if somebody offers
00:44:18 --> 00:44:20 you street Adderall never take it because I was
00:44:20 --> 00:44:22 taking that shit I was picking fights with everybody
00:44:22 --> 00:44:25 dude and it's not when you're on it when you're
00:44:25 --> 00:44:27 on it you're like hey what's going on blah blah
00:44:27 --> 00:44:29 but when you're off of it or you're coming off
00:44:29 --> 00:44:31 of it you're irritable you're a dick you're paranoid
00:44:31 --> 00:44:33 you're you know what I mean and that's what I
00:44:33 --> 00:44:35 was dealing with so I was burning bridges left
00:44:35 --> 00:44:40 and fucking right So I when I discovered Steve
00:44:40 --> 00:44:42 Perry and I started learning about his lore.
00:44:43 --> 00:44:46 I Really liked who he was, you know I really
00:44:46 --> 00:44:48 liked the person and just like him just hated
00:44:48 --> 00:44:50 being famous and he was as famous as you can
00:44:50 --> 00:44:53 get Yeah, like journey couldn't be more famous.
00:44:53 --> 00:44:55 Yeah, and then he walked away like fuck this.
00:44:56 --> 00:44:59 Yeah Sign my check. I'm leaving. When did he
00:44:59 --> 00:45:01 walk away? I think was in the mid 90s. Well,
00:45:01 --> 00:45:06 he walked away for the first time in 1987 Oh,
00:45:06 --> 00:45:10 okay. And then he pursued solo stuff, and then
00:45:10 --> 00:45:14 he joined again, and then I know that he got,
00:45:15 --> 00:45:17 he injured his hip, he like, and they wanted
00:45:17 --> 00:45:19 him to get surgery, and he was kind of reluctant,
00:45:19 --> 00:45:21 and they were giving him a deadline. Like, well,
00:45:21 --> 00:45:24 we need to tour this album, you gotta get this
00:45:24 --> 00:45:26 done, and when are you gonna be done? You have
00:45:26 --> 00:45:27 till this to do it, and he's like, fuck this.
00:45:28 --> 00:45:30 Yeah. And they threaten to replace him then.
00:45:30 --> 00:45:33 So, he's like, fine, replace me, that's fine.
00:45:34 --> 00:45:37 Damn. It's only dad. Excuse me, I didn't know
00:45:37 --> 00:45:40 that. Yeah. You know, I didn't know that. Yeah,
00:45:40 --> 00:45:44 I mean, I went through like a big journey phase.
00:45:44 --> 00:45:47 I love how like my Navy comes into play like.
00:45:47 --> 00:45:50 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta bring your gay shit
00:45:50 --> 00:45:54 into this. Yeah, I was like, fuck, there's no
00:45:54 --> 00:45:58 convincing. I'm not gay, dude. No, but yeah,
00:45:58 --> 00:46:00 no, I went through like my journey phase like
00:46:00 --> 00:46:03 heavily. in the Navy. Yeah. And that's when I
00:46:03 --> 00:46:05 kind of started to realize that the brilliance
00:46:05 --> 00:46:08 of them, you know, and it was because I watched
00:46:08 --> 00:46:11 Tron. Yeah. Like, you know, the movie about digital
00:46:11 --> 00:46:15 motorcycles, you know, I'm glad that Tron brought
00:46:15 --> 00:46:17 that on to you. Did they use the music in that
00:46:17 --> 00:46:20 movie or something? Yeah, in the sequel. OK.
00:46:20 --> 00:46:22 Yeah, I didn't I haven't seen those movies. Yeah,
00:46:22 --> 00:46:26 it was. Oh, wait. I forget the name of the damn
00:46:26 --> 00:46:29 song, but you know the song. I promise you. Don't
00:46:29 --> 00:46:32 stop. Or is it wheel in the sky or what? No,
00:46:32 --> 00:46:36 it's a it's that kind of oh Shit, I can't can't
00:46:36 --> 00:46:39 remember it but it's like the Wait, hold on.
00:46:39 --> 00:46:41 I'll just pull it up because I know I know what
00:46:41 --> 00:46:44 it is, you know But um, but yeah, they had a
00:46:44 --> 00:46:45 song I was playing on the jukebox in there and
00:46:45 --> 00:46:47 I was like dude This fucking song is badass like
00:46:47 --> 00:46:50 a motherfucker. Yeah, I was like what the fuck
00:46:50 --> 00:46:54 and so separate ways Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a
00:46:54 --> 00:46:56 good song. Yeah, that is and um, and yeah, so
00:46:56 --> 00:46:58 in that movie it started playing I was like what
00:46:58 --> 00:47:00 the fuck is this and I started like listening
00:47:00 --> 00:47:02 to that and then every day I would like if I
00:47:02 --> 00:47:03 was whatever I was doing I was like just listening
00:47:03 --> 00:47:06 to that and then eventually it moved to faithfully.
00:47:07 --> 00:47:09 Yeah, you know, and then of course wheels in
00:47:09 --> 00:47:13 the sky, which is you know, uh And then the other
00:47:13 --> 00:47:17 one on open arms. Yeah open arms. Yeah, that's
00:47:17 --> 00:47:19 a good song Oh, yeah favorite song. I'm learning
00:47:19 --> 00:47:22 that song on guitar right now really Oh yeah,
00:47:22 --> 00:47:25 you've been playing guitar? Yeah, kinda. Really?
00:47:25 --> 00:47:28 I'm not very good at it, but I'll dick around
00:47:28 --> 00:47:31 on it. Yeah, why did you pick the guitar? Why
00:47:31 --> 00:47:33 did I pick the guitar? Yeah, like what was it
00:47:33 --> 00:47:36 that kind of was like, oh man, this is what I
00:47:36 --> 00:47:37 wanted to hear, this is gonna be good. Yeah,
00:47:37 --> 00:47:39 I wanted like, I don't know, I've just always,
00:47:40 --> 00:47:42 it's one of those things where you have that
00:47:42 --> 00:47:44 thing that you wish that you were good at. Yeah.
00:47:44 --> 00:47:47 And for me it's piano and guitar and probably
00:47:47 --> 00:47:50 gangster rap. Hell yeah. You know what I mean?
00:47:50 --> 00:47:52 Yeah, I think I got a beat loaded up if you want
00:47:52 --> 00:47:57 to try. No, I'm awful at rapping. They had an
00:47:57 --> 00:47:58 open mic at Creek for a while where they were
00:47:58 --> 00:48:00 like, okay, we're going to have you fucking freestyle
00:48:00 --> 00:48:02 for a couple minutes and then you get into your
00:48:02 --> 00:48:05 set. And I went on there and freestyled and it
00:48:05 --> 00:48:10 was awful. And then I was like, so anyways, I
00:48:10 --> 00:48:12 was going down to the corner store the other
00:48:12 --> 00:48:17 day. This cock sucking net. Yeah, y 'all get
00:48:17 --> 00:48:20 it. I you know oh, man. It was Steve Perry rules
00:48:20 --> 00:48:23 like I now I'm getting deep enough into the YouTubing
00:48:23 --> 00:48:25 where he I'm watching him do freakouts on stage
00:48:25 --> 00:48:29 and that is awesome Really? Yeah, but he's it's
00:48:29 --> 00:48:31 like here's the thing is people try to like frame
00:48:31 --> 00:48:33 it like he was being irrational It was like somebody
00:48:33 --> 00:48:35 threw a beer bottle at him while he was on stage
00:48:35 --> 00:48:37 He's like who was the cocksucker that did that
00:48:37 --> 00:48:40 and then he they find him It was you it was you
00:48:40 --> 00:48:42 and he tells the security guard bring that motherfucker
00:48:42 --> 00:48:45 on stage, and I was like Like yeah, it rules.
00:48:45 --> 00:48:47 Yeah, yeah, I'm Steve Perry. Yeah, dude. He had
00:48:47 --> 00:48:51 and he had a beef with a Howard Stern Really
00:48:51 --> 00:48:52 you hear about that? Yeah, I didn't know that
00:48:52 --> 00:48:55 I am psychotic. That's why that's why I know
00:48:55 --> 00:48:59 all this that's phenomenal so he Howard Stern
00:48:59 --> 00:49:01 hates Steve Perry he talks about him on multiple
00:49:01 --> 00:49:04 episodes make making fun of Steve Perry and it
00:49:04 --> 00:49:06 was because one time Howard Stern was backstage
00:49:06 --> 00:49:12 and like Steve Perry called him Big Bird. Called
00:49:12 --> 00:49:15 him Big Bird. Out of all the things that fucking
00:49:15 --> 00:49:19 Howard Stern has done, and that's what upset
00:49:19 --> 00:49:21 you, and I'm like, hang on a second, let me look
00:49:21 --> 00:49:22 at this, because I was going to drop a video
00:49:22 --> 00:49:26 on this, but like, come on now. Yeah, that's
00:49:26 --> 00:49:29 a pretty accurate... It's perfect. Yeah, that's
00:49:29 --> 00:49:33 such a perfect thing. And then about how like,
00:49:35 --> 00:49:36 did you hear about the thing with him and Sarah
00:49:36 --> 00:49:39 Silverman? Sarah Silverman? Steve Perry? Yeah.
00:49:40 --> 00:49:43 No. So, you know, do you remember how like Sarah
00:49:43 --> 00:49:46 Silverman's humor was, especially like in the
00:49:46 --> 00:49:49 2000s or late 90s and stuff, how she was doing
00:49:49 --> 00:49:51 more of that edgier material and he comes up
00:49:51 --> 00:49:53 to her and he's like, I really like the way,
00:49:53 --> 00:49:58 he goes, I'm such a fan. You tell the best, you
00:49:58 --> 00:50:02 tell the best N -word jokes. But he said. Oh,
00:50:02 --> 00:50:05 he actually said the N -word. So she writes that
00:50:05 --> 00:50:08 in her, it's in her autobiography. No shit, and
00:50:08 --> 00:50:11 then Rolling Stone asked him he's like no So
00:50:11 --> 00:50:14 but he definitely I could see him. Yeah, are
00:50:14 --> 00:50:17 you kidding me? Yeah, she does. She does the
00:50:17 --> 00:50:20 best n -word jokes. Yeah Oh, no, she was oh my
00:50:20 --> 00:50:22 gosh I haven't really watched any of her like
00:50:22 --> 00:50:23 latest stand -up, but I remember back in the
00:50:23 --> 00:50:26 day It was just like you did not know what the
00:50:26 --> 00:50:28 hell she was gonna say Yeah, you know you like
00:50:28 --> 00:50:30 you you looked at her and you thought like one
00:50:30 --> 00:50:32 thing and then she got up there and man I was
00:50:32 --> 00:50:34 like Yeah, Sarah Silverman was pretty nuts. Yeah,
00:50:35 --> 00:50:37 she was great, but that's the whole thing and
00:50:37 --> 00:50:39 you have to understand, like I get it, like the
00:50:39 --> 00:50:42 kind of stuff that I do, like people think that
00:50:42 --> 00:50:44 I'm anti -Semitic or they think that I'm actually
00:50:44 --> 00:50:46 racist or transphobic and I'm like, no, I'm just
00:50:46 --> 00:50:48 making jokes about it. Right. You know what I
00:50:48 --> 00:50:50 mean? Do I say with a little bit of disdain?
00:50:50 --> 00:50:54 Yeah, so what? You know, it's like, but when
00:50:54 --> 00:50:56 you do that kind of humor, you're gonna attract
00:50:56 --> 00:50:59 people that actually don't like black people
00:50:59 --> 00:51:02 or... They're gonna just think it's okay to say
00:51:02 --> 00:51:04 that kind of stuff. You know what I mean? Or
00:51:04 --> 00:51:09 saying it in jest. And I think I have a... Oh,
00:51:09 --> 00:51:12 that happened the other night, actually. This
00:51:12 --> 00:51:15 guy was in the green room at Vulcan. And he...
00:51:15 --> 00:51:17 We don't know who the fuck he was. He wasn't
00:51:17 --> 00:51:20 a comic or anything like that. No shit. He just
00:51:20 --> 00:51:23 found his way in there. Yeah, he knew one of
00:51:23 --> 00:51:26 the comics there, but Joe DeRosa comes in. And
00:51:26 --> 00:51:28 he goes, Joe DeRosa... I'm such a fan of Shane
00:51:28 --> 00:51:31 Gillis, and then he just drops the N -word. What
00:51:31 --> 00:51:33 the fuck? And then Joe was like, whoa! What the
00:51:33 --> 00:51:36 fuck? And then Joe goes on stage, he bombs, he's
00:51:36 --> 00:51:38 like, I'm sorry guys, I just, someone called
00:51:38 --> 00:51:40 me the N -word in my face, and I just don't know
00:51:40 --> 00:51:43 what to feel right now. And so like, we all go
00:51:43 --> 00:51:46 back in the green room, and the guy was like,
00:51:47 --> 00:51:49 they were like, you can't be saying that shit,
00:51:49 --> 00:51:51 and so then he starts handing us all $100 bills
00:51:51 --> 00:52:01 to not talk about it. Nice. Yeah, it was fun.
00:52:02 --> 00:52:04 So you never figured out who this guy was? No,
00:52:04 --> 00:52:08 I don't know his name. I don't remember. He eventually
00:52:08 --> 00:52:11 got taken off stage because then a comic went
00:52:11 --> 00:52:15 on stage and he was like, hey, hey, bring me
00:52:15 --> 00:52:17 up there. And then, yeah, he got thrown out after
00:52:17 --> 00:52:20 that. Fucking what? You never know what you're
00:52:20 --> 00:52:22 gonna hit. You never know. You never fucking
00:52:22 --> 00:52:25 know. Comedy is nothing but a glorified fucking
00:52:25 --> 00:52:29 circus. That's all it is. It really is. I don't
00:52:29 --> 00:52:31 get why people want to do stand -up. I understand
00:52:31 --> 00:52:34 it's fun, it looks like it's a very nonchalant,
00:52:34 --> 00:52:36 people just pussy -footing their way into success,
00:52:36 --> 00:52:39 but you deal with so much shit. Yeah, I don't
00:52:39 --> 00:52:43 think that people realize exactly just how much
00:52:43 --> 00:52:47 goes into it. A lot of it. Yeah, there is a lot.
00:52:47 --> 00:52:49 And I haven't even gotten that deep. You know,
00:52:50 --> 00:52:52 I'm very much still like an open mic -er, and
00:52:52 --> 00:52:57 every now and again I do shows. But what I've
00:52:57 --> 00:52:59 kind of learned is that like, yeah, the deeper
00:52:59 --> 00:53:02 you go, the more it just seems like there's just
00:53:02 --> 00:53:06 so much shit that you're just not realizing.
00:53:06 --> 00:53:08 So you just didn't know, you know? And it's kind
00:53:08 --> 00:53:11 of like, if you don't do the work, you're not
00:53:11 --> 00:53:12 gonna be a part of it. Yeah, and it's gonna show.
00:53:12 --> 00:53:15 And I've been so lazy performing lately. I'm
00:53:15 --> 00:53:16 going up maybe a couple times a week. And this
00:53:16 --> 00:53:18 is going from like, I used to go up every single
00:53:18 --> 00:53:21 day. But I just, I also at the same time, I don't
00:53:21 --> 00:53:25 have any gumption to perform. I just don't. And
00:53:25 --> 00:53:26 so people will ask me and I'll say, yeah. And
00:53:26 --> 00:53:29 then I'll go up there and I'm like, ugh. And
00:53:29 --> 00:53:32 that's just where I'm at. Well, were you like
00:53:32 --> 00:53:35 kind of... just performing all the time for like
00:53:35 --> 00:53:40 a few years there. Yeah. Just constantly, constantly
00:53:40 --> 00:53:42 doing it. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's just like,
00:53:42 --> 00:53:44 you just need a break. Yeah. And so that's what
00:53:44 --> 00:53:48 it is. And I'm avoiding the fact that I need
00:53:48 --> 00:53:51 to fully step away from all of it, just because
00:53:51 --> 00:53:54 there's a part of me that wants to do it. But
00:53:54 --> 00:53:56 for the most part, it's, yeah, no, just stay
00:53:56 --> 00:53:58 inside and write your book, write out your things.
00:53:58 --> 00:53:59 It's going to be a good book. I know I didn't
00:53:59 --> 00:54:03 explain it right, but it's my dumb way, I don't
00:54:03 --> 00:54:06 know how to explain anything, but yeah, that's
00:54:06 --> 00:54:08 what I'm excited about. That's what I'm excited
00:54:08 --> 00:54:11 about is just putting thoughts on words and making
00:54:11 --> 00:54:15 a nice, intricate story. I want to put out something,
00:54:15 --> 00:54:17 you know what I mean? I want to put out something
00:54:17 --> 00:54:20 for myself. Yeah, yeah. And that's awesome. I
00:54:20 --> 00:54:23 mean, that's really where it counts, you know?
00:54:23 --> 00:54:26 Because it's like, you know, and I understand
00:54:26 --> 00:54:31 stand up as like an art form, you know? But I
00:54:31 --> 00:54:35 also get that If you get too deep into something,
00:54:35 --> 00:54:37 sometimes it's good to take a break from it.
00:54:37 --> 00:54:40 It is. I did the same thing with music. Yeah,
00:54:41 --> 00:54:43 I don't think a lot of people realize how much
00:54:43 --> 00:54:45 of their, people that do stand -up, how much
00:54:45 --> 00:54:49 of their lives, how much life they're robbing
00:54:49 --> 00:54:51 of themselves by doing so much stand -up, because
00:54:51 --> 00:54:54 this is all they do. And it's not something that
00:54:54 --> 00:54:57 you do kind of. Right. No, it's like you're going
00:54:57 --> 00:55:01 out, you're done working if you have a job. then
00:55:01 --> 00:55:03 you're going out to a place around six, seven
00:55:03 --> 00:55:04 o 'clock, and sometimes you don't get home till
00:55:04 --> 00:55:07 two o 'clock in the morning. And that's the reality
00:55:07 --> 00:55:09 for a lot of people. A lot of people. They don't
00:55:09 --> 00:55:12 even have friends. Their friends are other comics.
00:55:12 --> 00:55:15 And then, you know, then one of them gets bigger
00:55:15 --> 00:55:18 than the other, and then one gets resentful,
00:55:18 --> 00:55:20 and then you realize, a lot of times, that the
00:55:20 --> 00:55:22 people that you thought were your friends aren't
00:55:22 --> 00:55:25 friends. And that's a tough thing. This industry,
00:55:25 --> 00:55:27 it's hard to find friends in. And it's like...
00:55:27 --> 00:55:30 That's great that you're pursuing this, but also
00:55:30 --> 00:55:32 look at the other side on those, you know, now
00:55:32 --> 00:55:34 that I'm not doing it as much, I'm realizing
00:55:34 --> 00:55:37 I don't really have any fucking friends. Because
00:55:37 --> 00:55:40 they're all comedians. You know, they were, for
00:55:40 --> 00:55:42 the longest time, my friends were people that
00:55:42 --> 00:55:44 were out doing stuff at two in the morning. So
00:55:44 --> 00:55:45 no, they don't want to come over at two o 'clock
00:55:45 --> 00:55:48 and hang out at the pool. and then maybe have
00:55:48 --> 00:55:50 dinner and then go watch, go see a movie because
00:55:50 --> 00:55:52 they got an open mic they have to go to. Oh,
00:55:52 --> 00:55:54 no, they have a show at this place that they
00:55:54 --> 00:55:56 have to get to. And then they were thinking about
00:55:56 --> 00:55:59 going over here because it's this door guy's
00:55:59 --> 00:56:02 birthday. And it's like, you know? And being
00:56:02 --> 00:56:04 on the other side of it, and now that I'm doing
00:56:04 --> 00:56:07 it less, I'm like seeing like, God damn, dude.
00:56:08 --> 00:56:09 It's like, and I think it's because it's just,
00:56:09 --> 00:56:13 I'm getting older and I'm, you know, I'm slowing
00:56:13 --> 00:56:16 down that. thinking like, man, it's like, if
00:56:16 --> 00:56:18 this doesn't work, you better hope it works out.
00:56:18 --> 00:56:21 You better hope it. You get something out of
00:56:21 --> 00:56:23 it, because otherwise you just wasted the last
00:56:23 --> 00:56:25 however many years of your life. Yeah. And then
00:56:25 --> 00:56:27 you walk away and you realize how little you
00:56:27 --> 00:56:33 have. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's not so bad.
00:56:33 --> 00:56:35 But no, I know exactly. I know what you're talking
00:56:35 --> 00:56:38 about, too, because when I started getting older
00:56:38 --> 00:56:41 and things and I kind of started stand up after.
00:56:42 --> 00:56:45 Like basically it was just a massive change that
00:56:45 --> 00:56:48 was gonna occur in my life And it was something
00:56:48 --> 00:56:50 I always wanted to pursue something that I always
00:56:50 --> 00:56:52 I was like I felt free free enough to be able
00:56:52 --> 00:56:56 to do and even even in that freedom of even running
00:56:56 --> 00:56:58 to the stage and using it as therapy I guess
00:56:58 --> 00:57:02 and taking out like or just writing jokes and
00:57:02 --> 00:57:05 just performing, you know, even even doing that
00:57:05 --> 00:57:08 I began to learn that it's like there has to
00:57:08 --> 00:57:12 be a separation. I can't I'm just not able to
00:57:12 --> 00:57:16 go all in, like some of these people are. You're
00:57:16 --> 00:57:21 not 22. You're not working at a fucking pizza
00:57:21 --> 00:57:24 shop part -time so you can prioritize comedy.
00:57:24 --> 00:57:25 You're not sleeping on a couch for a fucking
00:57:25 --> 00:57:28 hundred bucks a week. I can't afford to do that.
00:57:28 --> 00:57:31 My back won't let me do that. I live in my car
00:57:31 --> 00:57:33 and... I've done it a couple times, and it wasn't
00:57:33 --> 00:57:35 because I didn't have a choice, it was because
00:57:35 --> 00:57:37 I'm like, I need to save some money. And I was
00:57:37 --> 00:57:39 still working full -time and doing stand -up,
00:57:39 --> 00:57:42 and I made it work, and I got an apartment, but
00:57:42 --> 00:57:44 God, dude, I can't. I'm not built for that anymore,
00:57:44 --> 00:57:47 I'm sorry. And plus, my self -esteem was so low
00:57:47 --> 00:57:51 when I was staying in my car. Fuck that. Yeah,
00:57:52 --> 00:57:57 I know, I know. I did the whole living in the
00:57:57 --> 00:58:01 car thing for not because of stand -up reasons.
00:58:02 --> 00:58:04 And it's, yeah, so when I, you know, when I remember
00:58:04 --> 00:58:06 like you saying that and everything, I was just
00:58:06 --> 00:58:09 like, man, yeah, that really, that really fucking
00:58:09 --> 00:58:11 sucks. You know, that's like a shitty situation
00:58:11 --> 00:58:13 to be in, you know? But it's also like good,
00:58:13 --> 00:58:15 like at the beginning, like you're talking about,
00:58:15 --> 00:58:17 like, you know, putting your life back in order,
00:58:17 --> 00:58:18 minus doing this fucking podcast with all these
00:58:18 --> 00:58:22 gnats. Yeah. But we're really making it. Yeah,
00:58:22 --> 00:58:25 we're fucking. We're doing it. Yeah. But, you
00:58:25 --> 00:58:27 know, like I think it's really awesome that you're,
00:58:27 --> 00:58:30 you're, you know, thinking about yourself. And
00:58:30 --> 00:58:33 then think about what you need, you know, because
00:58:33 --> 00:58:35 I do see a lot of people who put, like, all the
00:58:35 --> 00:58:38 whole fame thing and all that shit, like, they
00:58:38 --> 00:58:40 put it in front of them. This is cool. Yeah,
00:58:40 --> 00:58:45 you like that? This is fucking, look at this,
00:58:45 --> 00:58:48 this is neat. Yeah, exactly. That's for, I don't
00:58:48 --> 00:58:51 want anybody to slip, you know. That's some cool
00:58:51 --> 00:58:55 shit. Well, thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Tea time.
00:58:55 --> 00:58:59 Don't spill this. Yeah. What is that? Don't know
00:58:59 --> 00:59:02 it's a just the buddy of mine's wedding. He gave
00:59:02 --> 00:59:05 us these coasters. Okay. Yeah, they're coasters.
00:59:05 --> 00:59:11 All right. Well There we go, no, hang on you're
00:59:11 --> 00:59:18 set It's almost like the same size yeah, it is
00:59:18 --> 00:59:19 cool and you got your little you shouldn't why
00:59:19 --> 00:59:22 don't you just make coasters? That would be cool.
00:59:22 --> 00:59:24 Yeah, that'd be sick. I didn't think about it.
00:59:24 --> 00:59:25 You're good. Yeah, I'm good at that you make
00:59:25 --> 00:59:30 it felt I made all, I had koozies, I had koozies
00:59:30 --> 00:59:31 made. Actually I might have some in the car so
00:59:31 --> 00:59:35 I can contribute to this. I have some, I think
00:59:35 --> 00:59:37 I have some coasters in the car, but yeah, like
00:59:37 --> 00:59:40 interesting. I told myself, I'm like, I don't
00:59:40 --> 00:59:42 want to make like stupid merch where it's like,
00:59:42 --> 00:59:44 people are gonna be like, yeah, I guess. You
00:59:44 --> 00:59:45 know what I mean? I did make some stickers because
00:59:45 --> 00:59:49 it's only 40 bucks, but then I was like. that
00:59:49 --> 00:59:51 I made a bunch of koozies. Like, yeah, everyone
00:59:51 --> 00:59:53 uses koozies, all right, I'll do that. I wanna
00:59:53 --> 00:59:55 make stuff that people utilize day to day. Yeah,
00:59:56 --> 01:00:00 yeah, not stickers. No, that's a great idea.
01:00:00 --> 01:00:03 Or you get like a magnet, get magnets made for
01:00:03 --> 01:00:05 your dishwasher, for dishwashers, where it says,
01:00:05 --> 01:00:08 this is clean and this is dirty. I finally got
01:00:08 --> 01:00:10 one of those, where it's like, okay, those are
01:00:10 --> 01:00:12 clean, those are dirty, or something for your
01:00:12 --> 01:00:15 fridge. Like stuff that people see every day
01:00:15 --> 01:00:17 and they use. They come in waves. Yeah, they
01:00:17 --> 01:00:21 do. Oh God, it's so bad. This is awful. But yeah,
01:00:21 --> 01:00:25 no, that's a great idea. Yeah, I've just been
01:00:25 --> 01:00:27 trying to come up with little things. I have
01:00:27 --> 01:00:30 little ideas for giving comics to come along,
01:00:30 --> 01:00:33 like a gift basket or something of some kind.
01:00:33 --> 01:00:38 Yeah, where's my gift basket? I know. No, no.
01:00:38 --> 01:00:42 All I got is Chardonnay and stickers. It's like
01:00:42 --> 01:00:45 the gayest thing that... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:00:46 --> 01:00:48 I remember watching, like, going through your
01:00:48 --> 01:00:50 Instagram and everything, and then you were like...
01:00:50 --> 01:00:52 I forgot what you said verbat... But, you know,
01:00:52 --> 01:00:54 to paraphrase, you were like, yeah, I don't want
01:00:54 --> 01:00:56 to put out stickers because those are gay. And
01:00:56 --> 01:01:00 I was like, fuck! Gay little stir. Well, first
01:01:00 --> 01:01:01 of all, I'm almost 40 years old. What the fuck
01:01:01 --> 01:01:03 am I going to do with a sticker? I'm going to
01:01:03 --> 01:01:04 take this, but I don't know how I'm going to
01:01:04 --> 01:01:08 put it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I just like stickers.
01:01:08 --> 01:01:10 These are cool. Where'd you get them from? I
01:01:10 --> 01:01:13 don't know. Some website. I made them. I didn't
01:01:13 --> 01:01:15 realize that the, you see at the top where it
01:01:15 --> 01:01:17 says only bomb? Yeah. You can't see it. Yeah.
01:01:17 --> 01:01:19 I didn't realize that it was going to be so dark.
01:01:19 --> 01:01:21 Yeah. You know? So I was like, as soon as they
01:01:21 --> 01:01:23 came in, I was like, oh, this is properly fucked.
01:01:24 --> 01:01:26 Real comics talk the talk. Real comics talk the
01:01:26 --> 01:01:27 talk. You should have given them like a little
01:01:27 --> 01:01:30 Hitler mustache or given them some edge. Right?
01:01:30 --> 01:01:31 You know? He would have been an atomic bomb if
01:01:31 --> 01:01:41 that was the case. Or give them Asian eyes. They'd
01:01:41 --> 01:01:46 make two of them. Yeah, put the skyline of Hawaii
01:01:46 --> 01:01:52 in the back, you know? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that'd
01:01:52 --> 01:01:55 be sick. Yeah, I can't wait for my plantain sushi.
01:01:55 --> 01:01:58 Yeah, fuck. Yeah. Goddamn Dominicans, dude. Black
01:01:58 --> 01:02:00 people that speak Spanish. I never felt more
01:02:00 --> 01:02:03 like an ignorant hillbilly than I went there.
01:02:04 --> 01:02:06 Really? Yeah, Dominicans, they're black, but
01:02:06 --> 01:02:07 they speak Spanish. They're like, no, it was
01:02:07 --> 01:02:10 Spanish. Like, shut up. You're black people,
01:02:10 --> 01:02:14 and you got overran by Spain. I didn't even know
01:02:14 --> 01:02:15 that. You didn't know that? That's the place
01:02:15 --> 01:02:17 where Christopher Columbus went and fucked all
01:02:17 --> 01:02:21 the manatees. Really? You didn't know the story?
01:02:21 --> 01:02:24 No, I didn't know that. So he was... There was
01:02:24 --> 01:02:26 something in his journal that he wrote about
01:02:26 --> 01:02:29 how, like, he stopped in... I think it was Puerto...
01:02:29 --> 01:02:31 I think it might have been Puerto Rico or the
01:02:31 --> 01:02:33 Dominican. He was talking about mermaids. And
01:02:33 --> 01:02:37 he said... He didn't say manatees. But he said,
01:02:37 --> 01:02:40 yeah, the women here, like... I've seen a mermaid,
01:02:40 --> 01:02:42 but they're not as... You know, they're not as
01:02:42 --> 01:02:49 beautiful as I thought they were. And their nomenades,
01:02:49 --> 01:02:55 they go between Puerto Rico and Florida. They
01:02:55 --> 01:02:58 go back and forth. They'll migrate. So they're
01:02:58 --> 01:03:00 like, I think he's talking about manatees. And
01:03:00 --> 01:03:02 then everyone's like, he probably fucked him.
01:03:02 --> 01:03:06 Obviously, all right. It's like, you're a little
01:03:06 --> 01:03:11 big for my taste. That's so weird. It's like,
01:03:11 --> 01:03:13 how could you fuck that up? Never fucked a woman
01:03:13 --> 01:03:16 with whiskers before. So you aren't really my
01:03:16 --> 01:03:19 type. We'll make it work. Yeah, we'll make this
01:03:19 --> 01:03:21 work. Roll over. You remind me of my mother.
01:03:24 --> 01:03:26 Yeah, usually I have a cigarette after sex. but
01:03:26 --> 01:03:33 I guess a head of Cabildger work. Here's a head
01:03:33 --> 01:03:35 of cabbage, you pig. She doesn't move. Yeah,
01:03:36 --> 01:03:38 she can't move very fast. That's what I like
01:03:38 --> 01:03:41 about her. I accidentally threw a cast net over
01:03:41 --> 01:03:44 one of those once. They're fast. Are they quick?
01:03:44 --> 01:03:46 When they get freaked out, they get fat. Yeah,
01:03:46 --> 01:03:48 you try to catch it. You know what I mean? I
01:03:48 --> 01:03:50 didn't even see it. I'm not normally quick, but
01:03:50 --> 01:03:52 if you put me in a net and try to get me in the
01:03:52 --> 01:03:53 back of a truck, I'm gonna put up a fight. Yeah,
01:03:53 --> 01:03:55 you're gonna splash off. Yeah, I'm gonna splash
01:03:55 --> 01:04:00 off. Like, damn, dude. Throw me a head of cabbage
01:04:00 --> 01:04:06 and I'll be okay. I love that because I literally
01:04:06 --> 01:04:09 remember going to an aquarium and they had like
01:04:09 --> 01:04:10 the manatees and they were in there. They were
01:04:10 --> 01:04:16 just like... Cabbage just like around them They're
01:04:16 --> 01:04:19 just dead in the water. Yeah, you know black
01:04:19 --> 01:04:24 eyes. Yeah, yeah Lay in there right there's a
01:04:24 --> 01:04:27 there's a Their ice in Florida. There's this
01:04:27 --> 01:04:29 river called Crystal River where you can paddleboard
01:04:29 --> 01:04:32 down it and there's a bunch of manatees and they
01:04:32 --> 01:04:33 just that's all I know was just wait That's why
01:04:33 --> 01:04:35 when you said they they fucking scooted off.
01:04:35 --> 01:04:37 They're quick. I didn't I never knew that because
01:04:37 --> 01:04:41 they're very like So you can just paddleboard
01:04:41 --> 01:04:44 down Crystal River and touch them. Oh, wow. Or
01:04:44 --> 01:04:46 have sex with them if you're Christopher Columbus.
01:04:47 --> 01:04:49 Yeah, these are mermaids. These are beautiful,
01:04:49 --> 01:04:51 beautiful mermaids. They're not beautiful, but
01:04:51 --> 01:04:54 I'm going to try my best. I like your seashell.
01:04:55 --> 01:04:58 Yeah. But yeah, no, the way that they go, I guess,
01:04:58 --> 01:05:00 is because they stay in a herd or some shit.
01:05:00 --> 01:05:02 And you can look it up. I wish I had like, pull
01:05:02 --> 01:05:05 it up, Jamie. But they have a... Apparently you
01:05:05 --> 01:05:07 spook one of them and then if one of them freaks
01:05:07 --> 01:05:09 out they all freak out So then they'll be like
01:05:09 --> 01:05:12 a whole I heard of them just like splashing away
01:05:12 --> 01:05:14 And they're quick and they scare the shit out
01:05:14 --> 01:05:16 of you when that happens that I didn't know until
01:05:16 --> 01:05:19 I accidentally did it You know, it wasn't a hard
01:05:19 --> 01:05:21 way, dude. Yeah, I learned the hard way that
01:05:21 --> 01:05:24 you didn't do that again So now when I go out,
01:05:24 --> 01:05:26 you know, I'm like before I throw a cast and
01:05:26 --> 01:05:37 I'm like And if it's a woman when I'm like a
01:05:37 --> 01:05:43 woman if the woman hey you fat bitch Yeah, no,
01:05:43 --> 01:05:45 but then she'll fall in love with me. I can't
01:05:45 --> 01:05:48 have that. How did you know my kink? Wow, that
01:05:48 --> 01:05:51 is me. It's working. Yeah, do you have gnats?
01:05:52 --> 01:05:55 Yeah, you mean that's looking You know just we're
01:05:55 --> 01:05:57 getting into it. I just love it when gnats crawl
01:05:57 --> 01:05:59 over me makes me realize how fucking gross I
01:05:59 --> 01:06:01 am. Oh my god It's been it's been definitely
01:06:01 --> 01:06:04 a doozy. I was like fucking don't even want to
01:06:04 --> 01:06:06 know I don't I'm gonna cut out all these mats.
01:06:07 --> 01:06:09 Yeah, I'm like cut out all the net scenes, right?
01:06:10 --> 01:06:11 Yeah, you want to do my podcast. Yeah, can you
01:06:11 --> 01:06:15 send me a reference episode? Yeah, so anyway
01:06:15 --> 01:06:18 anyway fucking She really loves Steve Perry.
01:06:18 --> 01:06:20 Yeah, she loves Steve Perry. She's writing a
01:06:20 --> 01:06:24 book about him, and there's gnats. I really want
01:06:24 --> 01:06:25 to meet Steve Perry. I want to make it happen.
01:06:25 --> 01:06:27 I know that he hates being famous, but I kind
01:06:27 --> 01:06:29 of want to meet Steve Perry. I wonder if you
01:06:29 --> 01:06:32 could. I want to so bad, I just want to interview
01:06:32 --> 01:06:35 him and not film it. Oh, that would be cool.
01:06:35 --> 01:06:37 And just pick his brain and just ask him questions,
01:06:38 --> 01:06:41 and they have no... I was like, Jess, don't look
01:06:41 --> 01:06:44 at that. Don't look at that. Look over here.
01:06:44 --> 01:06:47 Yeah, it's like over here, Jess. Yeah, yeah,
01:06:47 --> 01:06:49 yeah. You caught it, though. Good job. Yeah,
01:06:49 --> 01:06:52 I was like, oh, great, it's dust. We're done
01:06:52 --> 01:06:54 with this. Yeah, but I wonder if I can make it
01:06:54 --> 01:06:56 happen. So that's why I was like, I'm making
01:06:56 --> 01:06:58 these videos. I actually put out a video today
01:06:58 --> 01:07:02 about... You know, this Chelsea Handler situation
01:07:02 --> 01:07:04 really reminds me of the time Sarah Silverman
01:07:04 --> 01:07:06 got mad at Steve Perry. So I'm like, I wonder
01:07:06 --> 01:07:08 if I could just make a thing of it, of making
01:07:08 --> 01:07:11 videos about Steve Perry. That would be freaking
01:07:11 --> 01:07:14 amazing. Just making him relevant again. He's
01:07:14 --> 01:07:17 going to hate it so much. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's
01:07:17 --> 01:07:19 like, this really sucks. He sends me a cease
01:07:19 --> 01:07:22 and desist. I'm going to meet you one way or
01:07:22 --> 01:07:25 another, dude. That would be really cool. I'm
01:07:25 --> 01:07:27 sure it's just like it's just just avenues you
01:07:27 --> 01:07:29 got to take. I accidentally got a few like celebrity
01:07:29 --> 01:07:32 people's like booking information and I was like,
01:07:32 --> 01:07:37 I don't know. I'll tell you, like off the air.
01:07:38 --> 01:07:40 You can cut this out, it's your podcast. What
01:07:40 --> 01:07:41 do you mean? I'm gonna tell you off the air.
01:07:41 --> 01:07:45 No, Matthew McConaughey. Oh, okay. Rory Scovel,
01:07:46 --> 01:07:52 comedian. Yeah. And Conan O 'Brien. That's random.
01:07:52 --> 01:07:54 It is random. That is so random. Yeah, I don't
01:07:54 --> 01:07:56 think anything's gonna come of it, you know?
01:07:56 --> 01:07:59 Yeah, if you just randomly have Conan O 'Brien
01:07:59 --> 01:08:01 on a podcast. Can you fucking imagine? Yeah,
01:08:01 --> 01:08:03 that would be sick. Can you fucking imagine?
01:08:03 --> 01:08:05 Has he ever done a podcast? I think he has his
01:08:05 --> 01:08:08 own. Oh, does he? Oh, of course he does. Yeah,
01:08:08 --> 01:08:11 we all do. You talk enough, like, what is he,
01:08:11 --> 01:08:13 is it a weekly show he does or is it every night?
01:08:14 --> 01:08:16 I don't know. I don't know either. I haven't
01:08:16 --> 01:08:18 watched late night anything in fucking years.
01:08:18 --> 01:08:21 Yeah, I just catch, like, highlights, things
01:08:21 --> 01:08:23 like that. You know, I love, like, looking up
01:08:23 --> 01:08:25 shit like that, or looking up, like, old Norm
01:08:25 --> 01:08:27 Macdonald on Conan. Oh, yeah, I love Norm. Yeah,
01:08:27 --> 01:08:29 oh, he's fantastic. Yeah, well, he's dead now.
01:08:29 --> 01:08:31 Yeah, he is, he is. So it'd be kind of weird
01:08:31 --> 01:08:33 if he did that now. Yeah, you know who I love
01:08:33 --> 01:08:40 is Andy... Andy. The guy from the 70s. The guy
01:08:40 --> 01:08:45 from the 70s? Yeah. The goofy guy. Oh, Andy Kaufman.
01:08:45 --> 01:08:47 Andy Kaufman. I was watching him last night.
01:08:48 --> 01:08:50 Oh, yeah? I had a big Andy Kaufman face. Like
01:08:50 --> 01:08:53 my Steve Perry face, I had an Andy Kaufman face
01:08:53 --> 01:08:56 about three years ago. Oh, yeah? Love Andy Kaufman.
01:08:56 --> 01:08:59 So good. So funny. So, like, interesting. Yeah,
01:08:59 --> 01:09:02 did you see the when he did when he read The
01:09:02 --> 01:09:05 Great Gatsby on Saturday Night Live? Yeah, yeah,
01:09:05 --> 01:09:08 yeah, yeah. And then he did it again at his stadium
01:09:08 --> 01:09:10 and waited till and waited till everybody left.
01:09:11 --> 01:09:13 Like he just kept he kept reading it and people
01:09:13 --> 01:09:15 just started leaving. Yeah, that's the epitome
01:09:15 --> 01:09:17 of like, I'm just going to do what I want to
01:09:17 --> 01:09:19 do. Yeah. Kind of thing. That's kind of like
01:09:19 --> 01:09:21 where I'm trying to go. But now it's like it's
01:09:21 --> 01:09:27 not even about entertaining. You know, they really
01:09:27 --> 01:09:31 do. Do you have a pit bull that you can have,
01:09:31 --> 01:09:34 like, just maul me while I'm trying to do this?
01:09:34 --> 01:09:37 Oh, right. I might as well. I might as well.
01:09:37 --> 01:09:39 Yeah, just have four pit bulls in here. Just
01:09:39 --> 01:09:40 to make it more interesting. Beat them with a
01:09:40 --> 01:09:43 stick before you let them in. Yeah, and here's
01:09:43 --> 01:09:46 a herd of bees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and there's
01:09:46 --> 01:09:49 just a Dominican in the corner just... With a
01:09:49 --> 01:09:51 plantain, like, ready to whip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:09:52 --> 01:09:55 But now the I know that he set up all that stuff
01:09:55 --> 01:09:58 though like cuz I love the the the great Gatsby
01:09:58 --> 01:10:00 thing that he read like because he was like reading
01:10:00 --> 01:10:02 it and people were like booing him and all that
01:10:02 --> 01:10:04 stuff and he's still reading it and booing him
01:10:04 --> 01:10:06 the reading and booing him and then all sudden
01:10:06 --> 01:10:08 in the middle of he's like guys guys come on
01:10:08 --> 01:10:10 we've got a long way to go and then they all
01:10:10 --> 01:10:13 just started laughing I was like Man, he knows
01:10:13 --> 01:10:15 he knows what the fuck he's doing. He knows what
01:10:15 --> 01:10:17 he's doing. Yeah. He's absolutely brilliant He
01:10:17 --> 01:10:22 died at what 30? Either 31, 33, something like
01:10:22 --> 01:10:26 that. Very young he died. Which is crazy. Which
01:10:26 --> 01:10:29 really sucks. Made such a huge impact on the
01:10:29 --> 01:10:32 comedy world. Yeah, well his dumbass did a homeopathic...
01:10:32 --> 01:10:34 Well, then again, I think he had a brain tumor.
01:10:34 --> 01:10:37 It wasn't like anything small and it was like
01:10:37 --> 01:10:40 the 70s or 80s or whatever when he died. Yeah,
01:10:40 --> 01:10:43 so he was just trying to do anything. Yeah. Pray
01:10:43 --> 01:10:47 over me. Right? Yeah, just use this holy water...
01:10:48 --> 01:10:53 It's like that smells like pee But yeah, no,
01:10:53 --> 01:10:55 I love I love seeing like all those all those
01:10:55 --> 01:10:57 older comics the legendary comics and and how
01:10:57 --> 01:11:00 they you know, just Like, how they come up with
01:11:00 --> 01:11:01 stuff, because the shit that I come up with,
01:11:01 --> 01:11:03 I'm like, I have no idea how they do it. You
01:11:03 --> 01:11:04 gotta be experimental and not do it. Have you
01:11:04 --> 01:11:07 done an improv class? I have not. I tell, if
01:11:07 --> 01:11:09 you're asking me, like, do you have advice for
01:11:09 --> 01:11:12 new comics, I would say do an improv class. An
01:11:12 --> 01:11:15 improv class is just so crucial, and you're gonna
01:11:15 --> 01:11:17 have comics that say, don't do improv, and those
01:11:17 --> 01:11:21 comics usually suck. So in improv class, sometimes
01:11:21 --> 01:11:24 you'll write a joke and it works, but it's the
01:11:24 --> 01:11:26 way you're delivering it. And it's like, sometimes
01:11:26 --> 01:11:28 people don't realize that a joke that you're
01:11:28 --> 01:11:30 doing, you don't want to say it, you got to show
01:11:30 --> 01:11:33 us. You know, you could sit there and show me
01:11:33 --> 01:11:38 about the cyst you got on your asshole after.
01:11:38 --> 01:11:41 you know, you got in a hockey accident, I don't
01:11:41 --> 01:11:43 know. Right. And it's like, you tell us about
01:11:43 --> 01:11:46 it, but what also is funny is like, you know,
01:11:46 --> 01:11:48 turning around, bending over, and showing the
01:11:48 --> 01:11:50 moment that it happened, I don't know, see what
01:11:50 --> 01:11:53 I said about being bad at explaining stuff? No,
01:11:53 --> 01:11:56 it's awesome. When you're, sometimes you just
01:11:56 --> 01:11:59 need to show people instead of saying it. Yeah.
01:11:59 --> 01:12:00 And that's the thing that could be holding you
01:12:00 --> 01:12:03 back from turning an okay joke into a great one.
01:12:03 --> 01:12:06 Yeah, yeah. That was something that I started
01:12:06 --> 01:12:09 to learn, like, pretty... Pretty late, but like
01:12:09 --> 01:12:11 but I'm still I'm still trying to figure out
01:12:11 --> 01:12:13 even how to do that Do you feel like you do that
01:12:13 --> 01:12:15 when you go on stage like do you sort of turn
01:12:15 --> 01:12:18 into almost like a character of yourself? I did
01:12:18 --> 01:12:20 when I you know back when I was more enthusiastic
01:12:20 --> 01:12:22 about doing comedy, but now that I'm going up
01:12:22 --> 01:12:24 there I find myself just standing there and so
01:12:24 --> 01:12:29 like I Need a I feel like I'm in a growth spurt
01:12:29 --> 01:12:30 I guess if you want to say that I feel like a
01:12:30 --> 01:12:32 lot of comics leave for a little bit and come
01:12:32 --> 01:12:34 back And sometimes they're stronger than ever
01:12:34 --> 01:12:37 because they took the time to be like, let me
01:12:37 --> 01:12:39 miss doing this because right now I don't and
01:12:39 --> 01:12:40 it's not fun for me and I'm just going up there
01:12:40 --> 01:12:42 standing there and I don't look like I'm having
01:12:42 --> 01:12:45 fun. And that's been a lot of my sets lately.
01:12:46 --> 01:12:52 So I did do that and it's taken a joke that would
01:12:52 --> 01:12:56 get laughs but what takes it over the top is
01:12:56 --> 01:12:59 me acting it out. It's like the joke that I have
01:12:59 --> 01:13:00 with the crosses joke. I've been doing that for
01:13:00 --> 01:13:04 probably the last three years. And, you know,
01:13:04 --> 01:13:08 the joke is like, you know, you're driving and
01:13:08 --> 01:13:10 you see a cross on the side of the road. Why
01:13:10 --> 01:13:12 do you never see any, like, you don't see any
01:13:12 --> 01:13:16 fucking Stars of David or Buddhas, you know?
01:13:16 --> 01:13:18 And I'll do that joke and it works, but like,
01:13:18 --> 01:13:21 what I'll do is now when I say, when I get to
01:13:21 --> 01:13:24 little Buddhas, I'll be like, I'll stand like
01:13:24 --> 01:13:26 Buddha. I'm like, drive safe, you know? And it
01:13:26 --> 01:13:29 just, I don't know why it's funny. I don't know
01:13:29 --> 01:13:31 why it's funny, but people really like it. Yeah,
01:13:31 --> 01:13:33 it's a good one. Because you're just, yeah. Drive
01:13:33 --> 01:13:37 safe. I never did that before. Drive safe. Yeah,
01:13:37 --> 01:13:39 and it's something as little as that when if
01:13:39 --> 01:13:41 you have an opportunity to where you can stand
01:13:41 --> 01:13:44 a certain way or frickin' do an action or I'm
01:13:44 --> 01:13:46 running or it's just like I'm just jerking this
01:13:46 --> 01:13:49 guy off and you know I was crying. It's like
01:13:49 --> 01:13:51 doing little things like that and it's because
01:13:51 --> 01:13:55 it's unexpected. Right. Because it's also unexpected
01:13:55 --> 01:13:58 is also what makes it funny. Yeah. Yeah. When
01:13:58 --> 01:14:00 I went back and I started looking at some of
01:14:00 --> 01:14:03 my older stand -up, I was like, I realized heavily
01:14:03 --> 01:14:06 I had the absence of that very thing. I would
01:14:06 --> 01:14:09 just sit there and I would be almost like I was
01:14:09 --> 01:14:11 waiting tables, basically. I would just be just
01:14:11 --> 01:14:15 talking to the audience. And it wasn't until
01:14:15 --> 01:14:17 much later that I kind of learned to sort of
01:14:17 --> 01:14:21 perform them. But I'm still also trying to figure
01:14:21 --> 01:14:24 out what that looks like for me, too. It's just
01:14:24 --> 01:14:26 always a learning thing. It's all a learning
01:14:26 --> 01:14:29 thing, and they'll tell you, like, watch more
01:14:29 --> 01:14:31 than you perform, and it's like, shut up. Like,
01:14:31 --> 01:14:33 find a couple of comics, find comics that you
01:14:33 --> 01:14:37 really rely on, or not rely on, but a lot of
01:14:37 --> 01:14:39 them, find comics that you admire and stick with
01:14:39 --> 01:14:42 those guys. And I'm only saying that because
01:14:42 --> 01:14:45 it's what I do. But, you know, I don't ingest...
01:14:45 --> 01:14:48 Tremendous amounts of stand -up. Yeah, there's
01:14:48 --> 01:14:49 a lot of comics I've never even heard of that
01:14:49 --> 01:14:52 are that are quote -unquote famous like I don't
01:14:52 --> 01:14:54 know who a lot of people are Yeah, which just
01:14:54 --> 01:14:56 helped me out in social situations because I
01:14:56 --> 01:14:58 get weird around famous people and it's not because
01:14:58 --> 01:15:03 I'm like, oh I don't know how to act. I I Don't
01:15:03 --> 01:15:05 want to say anything dumb and I typically do
01:15:05 --> 01:15:08 sure So it's better if I don't know who these
01:15:08 --> 01:15:10 people are because then I treat them. I treat
01:15:10 --> 01:15:16 them like people So yeah, I I know I I completely
01:15:16 --> 01:15:19 relate to that, especially lately with my new
01:15:19 --> 01:15:22 job. Apparently, there's been people who are
01:15:22 --> 01:15:24 like, no, no, this guy's a comic, this guy's
01:15:24 --> 01:15:27 a comic. And I'm like, oh, I didn't even fucking
01:15:27 --> 01:15:29 know who the hell this person was. My bad, you
01:15:29 --> 01:15:30 know? And I feel like, should I know who that
01:15:30 --> 01:15:36 is? But it's good to just be human. Just good
01:15:36 --> 01:15:40 to be yourself. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you don't
01:15:40 --> 01:15:43 have to know who every single person is. Mean
01:15:43 --> 01:15:45 I have the the comics that I like I like Louie.
01:15:45 --> 01:15:50 I like Anthony Jessel neck. Oh, yeah, Doug San
01:15:50 --> 01:15:54 Hope mm -hmm TJ Miller You know I'm so happy
01:15:54 --> 01:15:57 you actually named TJ Miller. I love TJ Miller.
01:15:57 --> 01:16:01 He's a very very fantastic comic very meta which
01:16:01 --> 01:16:05 I enjoy I like comics that do different stuff
01:16:05 --> 01:16:08 so the comics that I even just listed they're
01:16:08 --> 01:16:10 all very different the way that they tell jokes
01:16:10 --> 01:16:12 the way that they observe them the way that they
01:16:13 --> 01:16:16 observe life around them. Like, Louis has a very
01:16:16 --> 01:16:20 pessimistic outlook on life, but a lot of times,
01:16:21 --> 01:16:23 most of the time, he's usually at the butt of
01:16:23 --> 01:16:24 the joke, where he's like, yeah, this thing is
01:16:24 --> 01:16:26 awful, but at the end of the joke, he's like,
01:16:26 --> 01:16:30 no, I'm the piece of shit. You know, while he's
01:16:30 --> 01:16:31 pointing fingers and talking about how stupid
01:16:31 --> 01:16:34 people is, he's also pointing out how dumb he
01:16:34 --> 01:16:37 is in the process, and that's how I also view
01:16:37 --> 01:16:40 life, but I have a hard time finding that, making
01:16:40 --> 01:16:42 that funny. Mm -hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah,
01:16:42 --> 01:16:46 it's like I like Anthony Juscelnick's like dark
01:16:46 --> 01:16:49 sense of humor even though all his stuff is like
01:16:49 --> 01:16:52 made up. He taught me to write quicker Yeah,
01:16:52 --> 01:16:54 right, so you can pull something. It's like Louie
01:16:54 --> 01:16:58 taught me how to observe Juscelnick taught me
01:16:58 --> 01:17:04 to write fast. Yeah TJ told me to show people
01:17:04 --> 01:17:09 and then Big J told me to be gross, you know
01:17:09 --> 01:17:12 what I mean? And detailed, and very detailed.
01:17:12 --> 01:17:15 When you're oddly detailed about a certain thing,
01:17:17 --> 01:17:21 you'll also find the humor there. And that's
01:17:21 --> 01:17:23 where a lot of, I think, tagging comes from.
01:17:24 --> 01:17:27 Tagging is essentially just adding details to
01:17:27 --> 01:17:29 it. So it's like, I have a joke where I say,
01:17:29 --> 01:17:31 it's like, have you ever been so single you started
01:17:31 --> 01:17:35 acting gay? And it's like, okay, for example,
01:17:35 --> 01:17:38 you just find yourself hanging around U -Hauls.
01:17:38 --> 01:17:40 You have a sudden urge to help people with their
01:17:40 --> 01:17:44 furniture, you know? Yeah. So it's like you're
01:17:44 --> 01:17:47 just adding details and giving examples and putting
01:17:47 --> 01:17:49 those visuals in. And it's like Big J is so good
01:17:49 --> 01:17:54 with that. Really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm talking
01:17:54 --> 01:17:55 about like before he did like his crowd work
01:17:55 --> 01:17:57 stuff. He started really diving into crowd work,
01:17:57 --> 01:17:59 I think, over the last however many years. But
01:17:59 --> 01:18:04 the first comedy album, I really started picking
01:18:04 --> 01:18:06 up on was American Storyteller. Did you ever
01:18:06 --> 01:18:08 listen to that one? No, no, I was just thinking
01:18:08 --> 01:18:11 that. Yeah, American Storyteller, I would watch
01:18:11 --> 01:18:13 it. I think it's on his website. It used to be
01:18:13 --> 01:18:16 on YouTube, but me and my brother were huge fans
01:18:16 --> 01:18:21 of Big J when we were teenagers. And it's a really,
01:18:21 --> 01:18:24 the way he tells jokes, like his, I wish he would
01:18:24 --> 01:18:25 get back into it, because I know he does a lot
01:18:25 --> 01:18:28 of crowd work, but his written material is so
01:18:28 --> 01:18:31 fucking funny. Hell yeah. No, I'm going to have
01:18:31 --> 01:18:34 to watch more of his stuff, because the little
01:18:34 --> 01:18:37 things that I've seen, like when him and Ari
01:18:37 --> 01:18:39 Shaffer's little thing that he had there, I was
01:18:39 --> 01:18:41 like, yeah, no, he's great, but I've never watched
01:18:41 --> 01:18:44 something that he's done. And I'm like, I really
01:18:44 --> 01:18:47 need to get into him, because I love Anthony
01:18:47 --> 01:18:51 Jeselnik. I love how it's like... It's like he
01:18:51 --> 01:18:53 just knows how to guide you one thing and keep
01:18:53 --> 01:18:55 your mind going there and you're like even telling
01:18:55 --> 01:18:57 yourself Oh, he's gonna say something about blah
01:18:57 --> 01:19:00 and then he just somehow like flips a script
01:19:00 --> 01:19:02 on you entirely still still keeps up with the
01:19:02 --> 01:19:05 point but he brings it in a different angle that
01:19:05 --> 01:19:08 you didn't see somehow and I'm like to me like
01:19:08 --> 01:19:10 watching that and we've kind of actually I talked
01:19:10 --> 01:19:13 about this with Monterey was like, it's like
01:19:13 --> 01:19:16 watching like somebody do a magic trick. You're
01:19:16 --> 01:19:17 just like, wow, like how the hell did they do
01:19:17 --> 01:19:20 that? That's amazing. Cause it's like, it's just,
01:19:20 --> 01:19:22 it's just incredible watching these like the
01:19:22 --> 01:19:25 pros and like how they do it, you know? And it's
01:19:25 --> 01:19:27 really, I like that's, and the other thing is
01:19:27 --> 01:19:30 like stage presence. I just, I love when people
01:19:30 --> 01:19:33 have just this great like stage presence. Like
01:19:33 --> 01:19:35 Kyle Dunigan, like when I feel like whenever
01:19:35 --> 01:19:37 he gets up there, cause he's like kind of like
01:19:37 --> 01:19:40 just this goofy comedian and just for some reason,
01:19:40 --> 01:19:42 like it's just, you know it's going to be goofy.
01:19:42 --> 01:19:45 And that's really what captivated me when I saw
01:19:45 --> 01:19:48 you at Joe Ellis's thing, the friendly fire thing.
01:19:48 --> 01:19:53 I was just like, man, you had this very commanding
01:19:53 --> 01:19:56 presence. It was immediate that you had everybody's
01:19:56 --> 01:19:59 attention. And I was just wondering, are you
01:19:59 --> 01:20:03 aware of that? Yeah. Yeah. But it's not consistent.
01:20:03 --> 01:20:05 That's why I'm saying it. When I'm having good
01:20:05 --> 01:20:07 nights like that, then yeah, I know how to command
01:20:07 --> 01:20:09 the energy. But there's some nights... and it's
01:20:09 --> 01:20:13 hard for me to even fake it, is going up and
01:20:13 --> 01:20:15 wanting that attention on me. Some days I just
01:20:15 --> 01:20:17 don't even want to be observed and perceived.
01:20:18 --> 01:20:20 Because I think that's one of the hardest things
01:20:20 --> 01:20:23 about doing this, is the idea that somebody walks
01:20:23 --> 01:20:25 away with an opinion of you on a mass scale,
01:20:26 --> 01:20:30 depending on how you do, is kind of, to me, it
01:20:30 --> 01:20:32 gets in my head and it makes me weird. I feel
01:20:32 --> 01:20:34 weird about it. And so then I'll go up there
01:20:34 --> 01:20:37 and I'm like, hi. Some days I'm very timid and
01:20:37 --> 01:20:39 I don't under, I don't know how to purse, like,
01:20:40 --> 01:20:43 I don't know how to bulldoze through that. Yeah.
01:20:44 --> 01:20:47 Yeah. I get up there and do that too. There are
01:20:47 --> 01:20:49 some days when I can just get up on stage and
01:20:49 --> 01:20:50 it's just like, I know how I'm going to do it.
01:20:51 --> 01:20:52 I know what I'm going to do. And then there's
01:20:52 --> 01:20:55 some days when I'm just like, I don't know why
01:20:55 --> 01:20:58 I almost get stage fright. Yeah, and it's not
01:20:58 --> 01:21:00 even that I'm scared to be there. It's kind of
01:21:00 --> 01:21:02 like you're not being well received when you
01:21:02 --> 01:21:04 get up there and people aren't like, yeah. They're
01:21:04 --> 01:21:09 kind of like. Yeah, entertain me. Yeah. Yeah,
01:21:09 --> 01:21:11 entertain me now. And it's not that. And it's
01:21:11 --> 01:21:13 not that my jokes aren't good. I know I'm a very
01:21:13 --> 01:21:16 funny person. That has nothing to do with it.
01:21:16 --> 01:21:19 It's also like, I don't want to be funny for
01:21:19 --> 01:21:22 you guys. Right. You know what I mean? Today's
01:21:22 --> 01:21:24 not the day. Yeah, today's not the day, and it's
01:21:24 --> 01:21:26 been a lot of that lately. Or I'm like, nah,
01:21:26 --> 01:21:28 dude, I want to lay in the bed with my dog and
01:21:28 --> 01:21:31 watch fucking House of the Dragon. Yeah. What's
01:21:31 --> 01:21:32 your dog's name? I meant to ask you that. Maggie.
01:21:32 --> 01:21:34 I should have brought her. I almost brought her
01:21:34 --> 01:21:36 with. Maggie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really
01:21:36 --> 01:21:39 cute. Yeah, bring her everywhere with me. Yeah,
01:21:39 --> 01:21:41 no, she was very, very sweet. Yeah, you can bring
01:21:41 --> 01:21:52 a few of these. Oh my god. That legitimately
01:21:52 --> 01:21:59 got me. See, that's an act out. That legitimately
01:21:59 --> 01:22:13 got me. I did not expect that to happen. Because
01:22:13 --> 01:22:15 I was like just tell us could it be like yeah,
01:22:15 --> 01:22:19 just get the net Well, yeah, you're aiming the
01:22:19 --> 01:22:24 right place after a certain point it is me Oh,
01:22:24 --> 01:22:28 and I really need to bring tiki torches Citronella
01:22:28 --> 01:22:30 candles or something it's something I don't even
01:22:30 --> 01:22:32 know yeah, they probably just start fucking like
01:22:32 --> 01:22:36 oh good candles put on some fucking Marvin Gaye
01:22:36 --> 01:22:40 Yeah, it's walking How is it up here? It's not
01:22:40 --> 01:22:45 plastered on no I nailed it a Real blue -collar
01:22:45 --> 01:22:49 man Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I teach you that gay shit
01:22:49 --> 01:22:52 in the Navy. No, there's no ropes involved in
01:22:52 --> 01:22:55 that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there should be
01:22:55 --> 01:22:59 more ropes. Yeah. Is the Navy as gay as people
01:22:59 --> 01:23:03 think it is? Not in my experience. Yeah. Unfortunately.
01:23:04 --> 01:23:06 You know, but I think what it is is the, I think
01:23:06 --> 01:23:08 it derives from the village people with their
01:23:08 --> 01:23:10 song in the Navy. Oh, in the Navy. I forgot about
01:23:10 --> 01:23:12 that one. So that's not their best song. Yeah.
01:23:13 --> 01:23:14 They didn't really have a best song, I guess,
01:23:14 --> 01:23:16 when you think about it. The YMCA one, I think.
01:23:16 --> 01:23:19 Isn't it crazy that people liked them on a mass
01:23:19 --> 01:23:22 scale, enough for them to keep doing it? I mean,
01:23:22 --> 01:23:24 I don't know. I didn't think they were that bad.
01:23:24 --> 01:23:26 Did you? Yeah. You hated them? You don't like
01:23:26 --> 01:23:30 them? I mean, there are five homos. Oh, they're
01:23:30 --> 01:23:33 gay? Yeah, they're all gay as fuck. You didn't
01:23:33 --> 01:23:36 know that? I think I might have heard something
01:23:36 --> 01:23:37 about that. I didn't realize it was real, though.
01:23:37 --> 01:23:39 I just thought it was kids in the Navy. There
01:23:39 --> 01:23:41 are five gay guys. One dressed up as an Indian.
01:23:42 --> 01:23:45 Native American, sorry. No, sorry. Indigenous
01:23:45 --> 01:23:49 person of color. And then you had one that was
01:23:49 --> 01:23:52 a cop. And then what? Construction worker. What
01:23:52 --> 01:23:55 else was there? A Navy, right? A sailor? Yeah,
01:23:56 --> 01:23:58 I think so, actually. Yeah. So, yeah, all the
01:23:58 --> 01:24:04 gay professions. It totally makes sense now.
01:24:04 --> 01:24:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that what a sailor, a
01:24:06 --> 01:24:08 Navy person, is that the same thing as a sailor?
01:24:08 --> 01:24:11 Mm -hmm. That's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, no wonder.
01:24:12 --> 01:24:14 You know, in your gay little fucking hats. Yeah,
01:24:14 --> 01:24:16 you're like hanging with me buoys. Man, I'm gonna
01:24:16 --> 01:24:22 protect the country! I can't wait to protect
01:24:22 --> 01:24:25 the country! On our little ships. Yeah, yeah,
01:24:25 --> 01:24:29 yeah. Well, is there anything that you would
01:24:29 --> 01:24:32 like to put out to the world before we wrap this
01:24:32 --> 01:24:36 up? Let's see. Anything coming up? Headlining
01:24:36 --> 01:24:38 gigs or anything? No, nothing prominent, dude.
01:24:38 --> 01:24:40 But I will say that I'm working on my book, so
01:24:40 --> 01:24:42 if you guys can just care about that and buy
01:24:42 --> 01:24:45 it when it comes out. My goal is to have it out
01:24:45 --> 01:24:47 by the end of the year. That's my goal. Oh, that
01:24:47 --> 01:24:48 would be awesome. Yeah. Have it out by the end
01:24:48 --> 01:24:51 of the year. Do you have a title? It's called
01:24:51 --> 01:24:57 Burnout. Burnout. Hell yeah. Burnout. All right.
01:24:57 --> 01:25:00 I'm writing that down. Yeah. And then I'm going
01:25:00 --> 01:25:02 to write... The book that I have is called Burnout.
01:25:02 --> 01:25:05 It's going to be good. It's a nice psychological
01:25:05 --> 01:25:07 book that's padded as a love story. I feel like
01:25:07 --> 01:25:09 people need more love stories in their life.
01:25:10 --> 01:25:13 With today's day and age and everybody's... What
01:25:13 --> 01:25:15 I'm learning is that people are getting less
01:25:15 --> 01:25:17 and less in a hookup culture, which is great
01:25:17 --> 01:25:19 because I've never, I always hated hookup culture.
01:25:19 --> 01:25:23 I tried it and I always hated it. So I stopped
01:25:23 --> 01:25:25 doing it. I'm like, I don't like the way this
01:25:25 --> 01:25:28 feels. So we need just more like intricate messy
01:25:28 --> 01:25:30 romance and people are so afraid to love each
01:25:30 --> 01:25:34 other. And the reason why I'm writing this is
01:25:34 --> 01:25:39 it's less about love and more about acceptance
01:25:39 --> 01:25:41 and understanding. Does that make sense? I think
01:25:41 --> 01:25:43 to love somebody is to understand and accept
01:25:43 --> 01:25:45 them. And I think that's what a lot of people
01:25:45 --> 01:25:48 want. And so people are, a lot of people are
01:25:48 --> 01:25:50 afraid of it, so they avoid it. And they're robbing
01:25:50 --> 01:25:52 themselves of very intricate and loving experiences.
01:25:53 --> 01:26:07 Anyways, he rapes her in chapter six. Yeah. That's
01:26:07 --> 01:26:14 what we call a misdirect. God damn it. But that's
01:26:14 --> 01:26:16 it. I'm just excited about the book. I'm going
01:26:16 --> 01:26:19 to be going to Florida in September. I'm going
01:26:19 --> 01:26:20 to be doing a string of dates on there. I'll
01:26:20 --> 01:26:23 probably do, I'm going to try and do other states,
01:26:23 --> 01:26:26 but I just love Florida. I like having an excuse
01:26:26 --> 01:26:27 to go down there and spend time there. So that's
01:26:27 --> 01:26:30 what I'm going to do. Hell yeah. You're gonna
01:26:30 --> 01:26:33 do the headlining stuff? Yep, headlining. I'm
01:26:33 --> 01:26:35 gonna be bringing down Michael Goode, who's a
01:26:35 --> 01:26:38 comic that I found. He's from New York. I love
01:26:38 --> 01:26:40 Michael Goode. He's somebody you should follow
01:26:40 --> 01:26:46 is Dan Dosimo. Dan Dosimo? Mm -hmm, Dan Dosimo.
01:26:46 --> 01:26:48 He's a comic that I did comedy with in Chicago,
01:26:48 --> 01:26:50 and he moved to New York, and he actually opens
01:26:50 --> 01:26:54 for Louie now. But he's such a great... When
01:26:54 --> 01:26:56 I'm talking about great joke writers that I actually
01:26:56 --> 01:27:00 got to watch... Dan Dosimo is probably one of
01:27:00 --> 01:27:02 the best, strongest comedians I've ever seen.
01:27:02 --> 01:27:04 Okay, yeah, I'll definitely look him up. And
01:27:04 --> 01:27:06 like, here's the thing, he has no stage presence.
01:27:07 --> 01:27:10 You know, he's very... He's very introverted
01:27:10 --> 01:27:14 and he's very like... But his joke writing is
01:27:14 --> 01:27:17 just so clean. Like, every joke he does is so
01:27:17 --> 01:27:20 good. I love Dan Dosimo. Okay, yeah, I'll definitely
01:27:20 --> 01:27:22 check them out. Y 'all check them out, too. Yeah,
01:27:22 --> 01:27:24 check out Dan Dosimo, and then I'm bringing out,
01:27:24 --> 01:27:25 so I'm bringing out Michael, and I'm bringing
01:27:25 --> 01:27:29 out, uh, what the fuck is his name? Hang on,
01:27:29 --> 01:27:31 I just texted him. Let me look. Damn it! Tony
01:27:31 --> 01:27:35 Wellens, sorry. It took me a second. Tony what?
01:27:35 --> 01:27:37 Tony Wellens. He's great. Oh, Wellens. Yeah.
01:27:38 --> 01:27:40 Awesome. Yeah, and that sounds like a good time.
01:27:40 --> 01:27:42 It's gonna be fun. I like last time I went out
01:27:42 --> 01:27:44 there I was out there for two weeks and we had
01:27:44 --> 01:27:46 a couple of shows get canceled because ticket
01:27:46 --> 01:27:48 sales were bad and we're like, oh no So then
01:27:48 --> 01:27:51 we just fucking stayed at the beach. Oh, yeah,
01:27:51 --> 01:27:53 just went to the beach every day, man That's
01:27:53 --> 01:27:55 I think a lot of people don't realize that that
01:27:55 --> 01:27:57 you need to buy these tickets in advance buy
01:27:57 --> 01:28:00 the tickets in advance That's all that's what
01:28:00 --> 01:28:02 keeps the show going people don't buy them in
01:28:02 --> 01:28:03 advance and they they'll message me and they're
01:28:03 --> 01:28:06 saying I'm gonna get them at the door Okay, you
01:28:06 --> 01:28:07 know, yeah, but that's not good. They might have
01:28:07 --> 01:28:09 canceled it by then Yeah, and I got a drive make
01:28:09 --> 01:28:12 the 12 -hour drive out that way and then I get
01:28:12 --> 01:28:14 there and they're like, sorry We've had four
01:28:14 --> 01:28:17 ticket sales. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Well, if you put
01:28:17 --> 01:28:19 it out all uh, I'll share it and everything make
01:28:19 --> 01:28:21 sure to get that out there for you Hopefully
01:28:21 --> 01:28:24 people go. That would be nice. Yeah. Well, I
01:28:24 --> 01:28:27 can't wait to get my signed copy of burnout Yeah,
01:28:27 --> 01:28:29 you better get a dude. I will yeah, you're gonna
01:28:29 --> 01:28:37 ask me to sign it. I'm gonna tell you no Remember
01:28:37 --> 01:28:40 those fucking net yeah, yeah, they're still around
01:28:40 --> 01:28:45 me keep a clean environment for me. I was clean
01:28:45 --> 01:28:54 You know you need merch as a fly swatters You're
01:28:54 --> 01:28:57 absolutely right. There you go, yeah. Yeah, there
01:28:57 --> 01:28:58 you go. That's what those are supposed to be.
01:28:59 --> 01:29:02 Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate
01:29:02 --> 01:29:03 you doing this. This is so fun. Yeah, I had a
01:29:03 --> 01:29:06 good time. Hell yeah, me too, me too. Yeah, if
01:29:06 --> 01:29:08 there's nothing else, I guess that's a wrap.
01:29:08 --> 01:29:11 Can I smack you for the podcast? We talked about
01:29:11 --> 01:29:13 that beforehand. I was like, we should, we should
01:29:13 --> 01:29:15 stage this to where you say something to me and
01:29:15 --> 01:29:17 I slap the shit out of you and I leave. And then
01:29:17 --> 01:29:19 we can use that for a hook for a show. And then
01:29:19 --> 01:29:21 the next thing we talk, we cut to is me talking
01:29:21 --> 01:29:27 about Steve Perry. What I would probably do is
01:29:27 --> 01:29:30 literally like take it and cut it and then put
01:29:30 --> 01:29:33 it right there at that Steve Perry part. People
01:29:33 --> 01:29:37 would be like, wait, what the fuck? What the
01:29:37 --> 01:29:39 fuck was that? That would be a good idea like
01:29:39 --> 01:29:41 you insult me, and I'll be like fuck you fuck
01:29:41 --> 01:29:46 this I'm out of here. Yeah And then we just casually
01:29:46 --> 01:29:49 talk about Steve Perry is very just like okay,
01:29:49 --> 01:29:53 and then there's nothing about And I think that's
01:29:53 --> 01:30:01 would be hilarious All right, all right, so this
01:30:01 --> 01:30:03 are we do you're gonna call me a fat bitch all
01:30:03 --> 01:30:06 right? Yeah, whatever you're a fat bitch anyway
01:30:06 --> 01:30:08 all right all right, and then lean, but you gotta
01:30:08 --> 01:30:12 lean forward cuz I'm gonna pop the shit out of
01:30:12 --> 01:30:18 you. Yeah, yeah You're a fat bitch. You know
01:30:18 --> 01:30:20 what you're a piece of shit. Dude. Fuck this
01:30:20 --> 01:30:22 place. Fuck you. Oh god. Oh, I'm out of here.
01:30:22 --> 01:30:25 Do you fuck this podcast you suck at it? You're
01:30:25 --> 01:30:26 fucking poor, there's bugs all over the goddamn
01:30:26 --> 01:30:31 place. Yeah, no, it's not. God damn. That was
01:30:31 --> 01:30:31 perfect.