This is definitely a fun and hilarious episode! 💥 Lindsey brings her wonderful sense of humor onto the pod for her first solo episode but second appearance. She was here before with her husband, Trey Campbell (ep. 5! Check it out! 💣), and that was so fun as well!
Lindsey has made several appearances on Kill Tony and is always a treat to see. She also runs a Tuesday open mic in Austin at Mage's Sanctum. I have gone myself and bombed 💣 but the other comics were amazing, Lindsey included, so it will definitely be worth checking out if you're in the Austin area!
We got into so much in this one. Dark humor, her 11-day hospital stay, Kill Tony fame, pro wrestling, roller derby dreams and a whole lot more. Lindsey was so easy to talk to and the jokes just kept on coming. I love this episode, I know you will too! 💥 Lindsey, thank you so much for doing the show!
Trey
Follow Lindsey:
https://www.instagram.com/cupcakencomedy/
https://www.youtube.com/@Sassburgerspod
Only Bombs! Links:
00:01:04 --> 00:01:07 Well, hello, Lindsay. How you doing? Hey, I'm
00:01:07 --> 00:01:11 doing great. How are you Trey on stage? Trey
00:01:11 --> 00:01:14 on stage? Off stage, Trey. Right, even off stage,
00:01:14 --> 00:01:19 right? How's Mages going? Mages is awesome. Mages,
00:01:19 --> 00:01:21 we're having a lot of fun. I've built a nice
00:01:21 --> 00:01:24 little stage, so there's no longer just an area
00:01:24 --> 00:01:26 where you stand and do comedy. I built a stage.
00:01:26 --> 00:01:31 Oh, man. I got some stuff and... put a little
00:01:31 --> 00:01:33 space together for us and the mic is growing
00:01:33 --> 00:01:36 and the showcase was a lot of fun and the owner
00:01:36 --> 00:01:40 is oh my god talk about a gem he is a delight
00:01:40 --> 00:01:44 i love Javier who owns that place um but it's
00:01:44 --> 00:01:46 going really well and we're expanding we're doing
00:01:46 --> 00:01:49 more of these showcase things and he's like it's
00:01:49 --> 00:01:51 not even just for me it's like he's opened up
00:01:51 --> 00:01:53 his shop like really for the comedy community
00:01:53 --> 00:01:56 as a whole Like so many people are doing things
00:01:56 --> 00:01:58 out of there and they're just like cultivating
00:01:58 --> 00:02:01 their own little like nerd Comedy community and
00:02:01 --> 00:02:03 it's so cool to be a part of. Oh, yeah, that
00:02:03 --> 00:02:06 that is really cool I I really enjoyed it when
00:02:06 --> 00:02:09 I went there Last time I was there I bombed heavily
00:02:09 --> 00:02:13 and that was my own fault, but there was no stage
00:02:13 --> 00:02:16 Yeah, but now I want to I want to go see it with
00:02:16 --> 00:02:19 the stage. That's really cool. I saw that something
00:02:19 --> 00:02:23 with with y 'all With that you said there's a
00:02:23 --> 00:02:25 showcase right and you said there was a bunch
00:02:25 --> 00:02:27 of different comics on there Yeah, so we did
00:02:27 --> 00:02:30 a showcase for June Munford Davis was the headliner.
00:02:31 --> 00:02:35 Oh We had Jason Vest obviously Trey Campbell
00:02:35 --> 00:02:39 Michael Scott Goodness who else was on that show
00:02:39 --> 00:02:43 Michael Scott JP Hensdale did some time Alex
00:02:43 --> 00:02:46 Tarshun was on there It was just a lot of fun.
00:02:46 --> 00:02:49 Then we have another one coming up in July Yeah,
00:02:49 --> 00:02:51 yeah. Oh wait. Can you say who's gonna be on
00:02:51 --> 00:02:54 that one? Yeah, we have Aya is gonna be the headliner
00:02:54 --> 00:02:58 this time. I love Aya. She is hilarious Yeah,
00:02:58 --> 00:03:00 we have Joe Ellis who's gonna come by we have
00:03:00 --> 00:03:08 Blazing Nana. Oh, yeah, Charlie G We have oh
00:03:08 --> 00:03:11 goodness, I hope nobody pulls out cuz I'm forgetting
00:03:11 --> 00:03:13 to say their name right now, but it's stacked
00:03:13 --> 00:03:14 It's like a showcase. We're trying to fit in
00:03:14 --> 00:03:18 as much as we can And the first one was great.
00:03:19 --> 00:03:21 We had a bunch. We like brought beer and wine
00:03:21 --> 00:03:24 and everybody was just having a great time. We're
00:03:24 --> 00:03:26 going to do that again. We sold. Well, it's not
00:03:26 --> 00:03:29 us. We have this like girl who like sells food
00:03:29 --> 00:03:31 at the shop sometimes and she was slinging like
00:03:31 --> 00:03:34 empanadas and like what? Yeah, it was like dirty,
00:03:34 --> 00:03:38 like old school L .A. Secret show vibes. Oh,
00:03:38 --> 00:03:41 yeah, man. That's cool. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah,
00:03:41 --> 00:03:43 I loved it over there my girlfriend she brought
00:03:43 --> 00:03:46 a friend of hers over there to get like cards
00:03:46 --> 00:03:49 and and I was trying to tell him the story about
00:03:49 --> 00:03:52 how I was Basically, like I didn't understand
00:03:52 --> 00:03:55 like the nerds and nerd like culture and stuff
00:03:55 --> 00:03:58 But then I get there and I'm like, oh these guys
00:03:58 --> 00:04:01 are actually really badass and and I'm a fucking
00:04:01 --> 00:04:03 moron like cuz I don't just don't understand
00:04:03 --> 00:04:07 it, you know, but But what I mean by that is
00:04:07 --> 00:04:10 that I didn't really get, for example, the game
00:04:10 --> 00:04:15 Magic the Gathering. I don't know anything about
00:04:15 --> 00:04:16 that game. I don't know anything about that or
00:04:16 --> 00:04:19 Dungeons and Dragons. So I remember going to
00:04:19 --> 00:04:21 the mic and being like, I hope I know what to
00:04:21 --> 00:04:24 talk about in this place. And then I get there
00:04:24 --> 00:04:26 and I'm like, oh, yeah, they don't give a fuck
00:04:26 --> 00:04:30 about that at all. Yeah, that's just all me If
00:04:30 --> 00:04:32 they're playing magic, they might not care So
00:04:32 --> 00:04:34 I always give special points like if you could
00:04:34 --> 00:04:35 make the magic the gathering guys if you can
00:04:35 --> 00:04:38 make their ears perk up Then you're doing a really
00:04:38 --> 00:04:40 good job. Yeah, that's all it takes. It's just
00:04:40 --> 00:04:42 different passions You know, they're very knowledgeable
00:04:42 --> 00:04:44 and passionate about the game and it's about
00:04:44 --> 00:04:46 stuff like that I know I still know nothing about
00:04:46 --> 00:04:50 it But I did start playing poker on my phone
00:04:50 --> 00:04:53 recently. So I guess I can kind of nice, you
00:04:53 --> 00:04:55 know, like cards, right? Yeah, they're inspiring
00:04:55 --> 00:04:58 me to be a better person Yeah, hell yeah. Are
00:04:58 --> 00:05:00 you enjoying the poker? I've never played poker
00:05:00 --> 00:05:03 before. It's really fun. It's really fun. I lost
00:05:03 --> 00:05:06 like $4 yesterday though, oh man. Like four real
00:05:06 --> 00:05:08 dollars? Four real dollars. No way. I was really
00:05:08 --> 00:05:11 upset, yeah. Oh, I would've been upset too. Yeah,
00:05:11 --> 00:05:14 but I'm gonna, my day will come. Yeah. It's coming.
00:05:14 --> 00:05:17 You're gonna hit the jackpot. I will. Are you
00:05:17 --> 00:05:22 gonna take your skills to the casino? Yeah, probably
00:05:22 --> 00:05:24 when I get better at counting see what I'm doing
00:05:24 --> 00:05:27 is I'm like asking chat GPT This is like a real
00:05:27 --> 00:05:29 card house by the way, so you probably shouldn't
00:05:29 --> 00:05:31 even like I'm not gonna have you cut this out
00:05:31 --> 00:05:34 Like I'll show the hand of a great chat GPT.
00:05:34 --> 00:05:36 What do I do? And then I'm just learning right
00:05:36 --> 00:05:38 and then when I get better that's, you know,
00:05:39 --> 00:05:41 bamboozling people on the card app, then I'll
00:05:41 --> 00:05:44 go to the Indian casinos, because, you know,
00:05:44 --> 00:05:46 they're doing, that community as a whole, they
00:05:46 --> 00:05:48 can take them for the team, right? Yeah, they're
00:05:48 --> 00:05:50 going to be like, how? Did you think you can
00:05:50 --> 00:05:54 get away with this? That is good. So you could,
00:05:54 --> 00:05:56 like, chat GPT, like, you could take a picture
00:05:56 --> 00:05:59 of your hand, and then chat GPT would be like,
00:05:59 --> 00:06:01 oh, this is what you want to do next? Yeah, I
00:06:01 --> 00:06:02 just screen cap it really quick, and I'm like,
00:06:02 --> 00:06:06 yo. No way. Yeah. Don't always do that. I'm gonna
00:06:06 --> 00:06:09 pickle I do it Usually when I win, that's why
00:06:09 --> 00:06:12 oh my gosh. I don't know. I'm sorry from rub
00:06:12 --> 00:06:14 my eyes a lot I literally like I just woke up
00:06:14 --> 00:06:16 like less than an hour ago. So I'm like like
00:06:16 --> 00:06:20 I've been laying down on a therapist's office
00:06:20 --> 00:06:23 all morning with pillows and this little pillow
00:06:23 --> 00:06:25 shaped like a poop and then like a Paddington
00:06:25 --> 00:06:27 bear from the 1970s so I'm right there with you.
00:06:27 --> 00:06:32 I've been awake, but just barely. Yeah Yeah I
00:06:32 --> 00:06:34 get like that too, where I'm just sitting there
00:06:34 --> 00:06:36 for days up on end and all of a sudden I just
00:06:36 --> 00:06:39 kind of crash out. Is that how you get it too?
00:06:40 --> 00:06:42 Oh yeah, and then your body's like, oh no, moving
00:06:42 --> 00:06:45 is too much, that's too hard. So then you just
00:06:45 --> 00:06:47 kind of have to be parallel for a little while.
00:06:47 --> 00:06:54 Yeah, for me it was heavily in cycles. It's a
00:06:54 --> 00:06:57 pendulum. It is a pendulum. Yeah, and it sucks.
00:06:57 --> 00:07:00 Yeah. How's comedy been for you? Comedy's been
00:07:00 --> 00:07:04 good. I've been in a hot streak. I've been performing
00:07:04 --> 00:07:08 really well. I've been writing some. I'm trying
00:07:08 --> 00:07:10 to stay focused, focusing on the producing aspect
00:07:10 --> 00:07:14 of this showcase now also. Oh, yeah. A cool thing
00:07:14 --> 00:07:16 about my work schedule, like loosening up, is
00:07:16 --> 00:07:18 that I can actually think about comedy more.
00:07:19 --> 00:07:21 I don't have to, like last time I sat down with
00:07:21 --> 00:07:24 you. I was like worried about like census building
00:07:24 --> 00:07:27 and like occupancy and like words that I, if
00:07:27 --> 00:07:29 I didn't, if they weren't paying me a lot of
00:07:29 --> 00:07:30 money to know, I wouldn't have even known those
00:07:30 --> 00:07:33 words. Wow. So now it's like I can focus, I can
00:07:33 --> 00:07:35 hone in more on comedy and like really try to
00:07:35 --> 00:07:38 be locked in as much as I can. Oh, nice. Have
00:07:38 --> 00:07:40 you been kind of like learning anything, anything
00:07:40 --> 00:07:43 new getting more locked in? Have you kind of
00:07:43 --> 00:07:46 had any kind of revelations at all about comedy
00:07:46 --> 00:07:47 that you were like, oh shit, I wish I would have
00:07:47 --> 00:07:50 known this sooner. No, I think I've just gotten
00:07:50 --> 00:07:53 better at writing down my thoughts Yeah, yeah,
00:07:53 --> 00:07:55 because I would say something and I'd be like
00:07:55 --> 00:07:56 oh I'm gonna write that down later, and then
00:07:56 --> 00:07:58 I just never wrote it down So I'm doing a better
00:07:58 --> 00:08:01 job at that and then also just being kind of
00:08:01 --> 00:08:04 fearless at the mics like yeah Just I've been
00:08:04 --> 00:08:06 doing this a long time. You know why am I? It's
00:08:06 --> 00:08:08 like for you guys here, and I'm bigger than all
00:08:08 --> 00:08:10 of you like if we put it all together like if
00:08:10 --> 00:08:12 there's a trance There's a transformation segment
00:08:12 --> 00:08:15 of this set. I'm still winning. You know sure
00:08:15 --> 00:08:20 yeah, yeah, so you you kind of have Well, what
00:08:20 --> 00:08:23 is your approach like when you're writing a joke?
00:08:23 --> 00:08:27 Do you just sit down and write thought out and
00:08:27 --> 00:08:30 then just kind of trim the fat? Or what's your
00:08:30 --> 00:08:32 approach to joke writing? I'll just have a funny
00:08:32 --> 00:08:34 thought and then I kind of make it into like
00:08:34 --> 00:08:36 a dry paragraph, like I'm EE Cummings or something,
00:08:37 --> 00:08:38 I don't know, because that's like my default.
00:08:38 --> 00:08:40 And then I'll look at it and then I trim the
00:08:40 --> 00:08:43 fat and then I punch it up if I need to. Sometimes
00:08:43 --> 00:08:46 it just all comes together, but sometimes I play
00:08:46 --> 00:08:48 around with the idea for a little while. Did
00:08:48 --> 00:08:51 you ever have a hard time understanding what
00:08:51 --> 00:08:56 a punchline was? No, I mean, maybe I do. I'm
00:08:56 --> 00:08:58 not the arbiter of comedy. I try my best, but
00:08:58 --> 00:08:59 I think that's when they're supposed to laugh
00:08:59 --> 00:09:02 the loudest. That's what I shoot for. I think
00:09:02 --> 00:09:06 you're absolutely correct. I had trouble for
00:09:06 --> 00:09:11 the longest time with, like, what is a punchline?
00:09:11 --> 00:09:13 You know, like, I just couldn't figure it out.
00:09:13 --> 00:09:16 Like, I knew that it was supposed to be, like,
00:09:16 --> 00:09:19 You know, like the reveal and the magic trick,
00:09:19 --> 00:09:22 you know, the surprise. You know, I knew it was
00:09:22 --> 00:09:25 supposed to be all that, but I had trouble grasping
00:09:25 --> 00:09:28 that concept. Were there any kind of concepts
00:09:28 --> 00:09:30 with you, with your comedy writing that you were
00:09:30 --> 00:09:32 just like, hold on, this is kind of, I'm getting
00:09:32 --> 00:09:34 stumped here, I don't know why. Like, did you
00:09:34 --> 00:09:36 have any roadblocks like that? Yeah, well, all
00:09:36 --> 00:09:39 the time. And I think that's where people's style
00:09:39 --> 00:09:41 comes into play, right? Because different...
00:09:41 --> 00:09:45 The punchline is like the meat of the joke. So
00:09:45 --> 00:09:47 it's like which direction are you gonna go in?
00:09:47 --> 00:09:50 Where where does your personality take it like?
00:09:50 --> 00:09:54 misdirect silly like So I tried out a couple
00:09:54 --> 00:09:57 different ways my stuff is always really dark
00:09:57 --> 00:09:59 when I write it so that's why a lot of my stuff
00:09:59 --> 00:10:01 ends up on the whimsical side because then I
00:10:01 --> 00:10:05 have to go sprinkle in like Sanity after the
00:10:05 --> 00:10:08 facts. Yeah. Yeah, is it is it dark because that's
00:10:08 --> 00:10:10 like what you're choosing to be or is that just
00:10:10 --> 00:10:12 like Where you're at like your head's facing
00:10:12 --> 00:10:14 you're like I'm gonna put the dark shit out on
00:10:14 --> 00:10:16 the page kind of thing Oh, no, I'm just really
00:10:16 --> 00:10:18 big into dark humor like things that I don't
00:10:18 --> 00:10:20 even know where dark people will be like, oh
00:10:20 --> 00:10:22 good god And then I like oh, okay. I gotta touch
00:10:22 --> 00:10:24 that one up Yeah, like I remember I did like
00:10:24 --> 00:10:26 a type 5 about like my childhood one time and
00:10:26 --> 00:10:28 I just like I got a lot of laughs But I also
00:10:28 --> 00:10:30 made a lot of people sad and it's like back to
00:10:30 --> 00:10:36 the drawing board I don't know. I love shit like
00:10:36 --> 00:10:39 that though. Like I don't know it kind of reminds
00:10:39 --> 00:10:42 me of you ever seen um Debbie Downer on SNL.
00:10:43 --> 00:10:45 Yeah, you know, like yeah, it's just for some
00:10:45 --> 00:10:47 reason that kind of like that kind of humor I
00:10:47 --> 00:10:50 love it. I don't know. I just kind of do like
00:10:50 --> 00:10:52 it's it kind of reminds me of like like Eeyore
00:10:52 --> 00:10:55 she's a vibe. Yeah, there's something like that,
00:10:55 --> 00:10:59 you know, do you So like what is your new stuff?
00:11:00 --> 00:11:02 Like are you writing some like new stuff now?
00:11:02 --> 00:11:04 Like is it different or is it is it kind of just
00:11:04 --> 00:11:07 going along with the the same concept because
00:11:07 --> 00:11:09 that works for you or It's kind of going along
00:11:09 --> 00:11:12 with the same thing I'm doing this new thing
00:11:12 --> 00:11:13 where I'm trying to be vulnerable with how I
00:11:13 --> 00:11:16 write because I write it I write a lot about
00:11:16 --> 00:11:19 my experiences and Obviously we all write about
00:11:19 --> 00:11:23 ourselves, but like from an arm's length And
00:11:23 --> 00:11:25 I'm really trying to find the proper nuance to
00:11:25 --> 00:11:28 like do deep dives while still maintaining the
00:11:28 --> 00:11:30 integrity of the actual jokes in and of itself
00:11:30 --> 00:11:33 Being like because comedy is very much like look
00:11:33 --> 00:11:36 at me, right? Yeah, but it's like look at me
00:11:37 --> 00:11:40 As far as I want you to see but I'm trying to
00:11:40 --> 00:11:41 step into this space where it's like look at
00:11:41 --> 00:11:45 me exactly how I am Yeah, and deal with it or
00:11:45 --> 00:11:47 don't deal with it or buy tickets or don't buy
00:11:47 --> 00:11:50 tickets or whatever it is, you know Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:50 --> 00:11:52 How are you feeling about opening up like that
00:11:52 --> 00:11:55 a little bit more comedically? It's kind of weird
00:11:55 --> 00:12:04 still It's I I'm trying to approach it From a
00:12:04 --> 00:12:06 standoffish way even like even though I sit down
00:12:06 --> 00:12:08 I'm like, okay, I'm gonna write about myself
00:12:08 --> 00:12:10 and I was like, all right I'm gonna write a joke
00:12:10 --> 00:12:11 about being in the hospital and then it turns
00:12:11 --> 00:12:15 into a joke about how black nurses like to change
00:12:15 --> 00:12:19 their wigs a lot and it's Like is that from personal
00:12:19 --> 00:12:25 experience? Yeah Yeah Yeah, I thought this lady
00:12:25 --> 00:12:27 hated me. I thought this this there was this
00:12:27 --> 00:12:28 nurse. She was so mean to me the whole time I
00:12:28 --> 00:12:31 was in the hospital for 11 days and then I checked
00:12:31 --> 00:12:33 out and I was so I was like man fuck nurses you
00:12:33 --> 00:12:35 said supposed to be nice people. Then turns out
00:12:35 --> 00:12:37 it was just one black lady who had a big wig
00:12:37 --> 00:12:40 collection and didn't realize until the very
00:12:40 --> 00:12:43 last day. So I don't know if that's... Did you
00:12:43 --> 00:12:47 ever make friends with her? No, she was kind
00:12:47 --> 00:12:49 of the worst. She was kind of the worst? There
00:12:49 --> 00:12:51 were a couple versions of her that were okay.
00:12:52 --> 00:12:54 Played me a Kendrick Lamar song on a smoke break.
00:12:55 --> 00:12:59 Oh, okay, that's cool. So I think the short,
00:12:59 --> 00:13:01 the cropped version was the one I was friends
00:13:01 --> 00:13:05 with. I'm like, wow, I'm having a hard time keeping
00:13:05 --> 00:13:09 up. Yeah, me too, me too. No, that's good though.
00:13:11 --> 00:13:14 So you being in the hospital, did you walk away
00:13:14 --> 00:13:16 with any kind of material to add to it, or is
00:13:16 --> 00:13:18 that an area of your life where you're like,
00:13:18 --> 00:13:22 I'm not going to write about that? I always tell
00:13:22 --> 00:13:24 myself I'm going to write about it. And then
00:13:24 --> 00:13:26 when I'm in there, I try to write about it. But
00:13:26 --> 00:13:28 it's really hard to write comedy with crayons
00:13:28 --> 00:13:34 or like, felt tip markers, so that sucks. But
00:13:34 --> 00:13:37 I don't know, I kinda keep those things separately.
00:13:38 --> 00:13:41 I did become a Mormon in the hospital. You became
00:13:41 --> 00:13:43 a Mormon in the hospital? I'm a Mormon now, yeah.
00:13:44 --> 00:13:47 Wow, thank you Joseph Smith. Yeah. They have
00:13:47 --> 00:13:51 some cool beliefs, man. I mean, we do. Well,
00:13:51 --> 00:13:54 what are some cool things about the Mormon beliefs
00:13:54 --> 00:13:57 that you like? So like, in regular Christianity,
00:13:58 --> 00:14:00 like, regular old Christianity, there's like
00:14:00 --> 00:14:03 God, right? It's like God the Father. But Mormons
00:14:03 --> 00:14:05 have God the Father, and they have God the Mother.
00:14:05 --> 00:14:08 God the Mother and God the Father, they be fucking,
00:14:08 --> 00:14:10 and that's how they created everything. They
00:14:10 --> 00:14:13 be fucking. They do. They do, and that's how
00:14:13 --> 00:14:15 they created everything. So we're literally,
00:14:15 --> 00:14:20 we're gods trapped in these like weird experiences
00:14:20 --> 00:14:24 of life. And then when we die, we get to be our,
00:14:24 --> 00:14:26 we get to just be, go ahead and be a God again,
00:14:26 --> 00:14:29 because we're the Sons and daughters of mother
00:14:29 --> 00:14:32 and father God. Oh, you can have your own planet.
00:14:32 --> 00:14:34 You could do can you Matt? Could you imagine
00:14:34 --> 00:14:37 if Hitler was a Mormon? With that planet with
00:14:37 --> 00:14:39 that of the bottom of falling out of that eventually
00:14:39 --> 00:14:41 can you imagine accidentally landing on that
00:14:41 --> 00:14:44 planet, you know, I Think some people would have
00:14:44 --> 00:14:46 a better time than others. You guys you know,
00:14:46 --> 00:14:50 you could add a little color in here, huh? So
00:14:50 --> 00:14:54 you hit there's like no Nine but anyway, yeah,
00:14:54 --> 00:14:56 sorry, but don't even get me started on that
00:14:56 --> 00:15:01 guy Yeah, yeah, he's a real fucking the firecracker.
00:15:01 --> 00:15:06 He's a doozy man. He's a doozy His dog was an
00:15:06 --> 00:15:11 Aryan either Really? Yeah Yeah, black lab or
00:15:11 --> 00:15:13 he well might as well. He had a German Shepherd.
00:15:13 --> 00:15:16 They're black and brown Why did I not see that
00:15:16 --> 00:15:19 and he named her blondie? A German Shepherd?
00:15:19 --> 00:15:21 Yeah, a German Shepherd black and brown hair
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24 named Blondie. Feel like that's how he saw himself
00:15:24 --> 00:15:26 a little bit imagine if that's what you called
00:15:26 --> 00:15:30 that nurse like oh I do but behind closed so
00:15:30 --> 00:15:33 we can cut things out of this right cuz I can't
00:15:33 --> 00:15:36 I'm just kidding. I'm not gonna say it guys.
00:15:36 --> 00:15:38 He gave me the out. I said no I have too much
00:15:38 --> 00:15:41 integrity. We don't see that I just like zoom
00:15:41 --> 00:15:45 in and make it louder Like I don't know if we
00:15:45 --> 00:15:48 should say this but we will no no, I'm just kidding.
00:15:48 --> 00:15:51 We have too much integrity. We will not go there
00:15:51 --> 00:15:54 Think actually like wait. I did this I did this
00:15:54 --> 00:16:00 last time um wait Yeah, so if you if you want
00:16:00 --> 00:16:06 to say a curse word oh no Yeah, right. Yeah,
00:16:06 --> 00:16:10 I just found that out wait uh wait Can you start
00:16:10 --> 00:16:14 the bleep now wait? Let's see hold on okay? Wait
00:16:14 --> 00:16:17 all right there. We go. Let's go. Are you ready?
00:16:20 --> 00:16:24 Fruit that I pick on the market whenever I go
00:16:24 --> 00:16:27 town because my grandmother and she doesn't like
00:16:27 --> 00:16:32 black people I think I like missed everywhere
00:16:32 --> 00:16:38 I Have horrible at that we were working against
00:16:38 --> 00:16:41 each other actively. I think yeah The world needs
00:16:41 --> 00:16:44 to know my grandmother did not like black people.
00:16:44 --> 00:16:47 Oh wow, but this is about Hope that sound effect
00:16:47 --> 00:16:49 actually picked up. Can you imagine if it didn't
00:16:49 --> 00:16:52 pick up and like a bunch of like us just like
00:16:52 --> 00:16:55 I Think it's picking up. I hope it is. Yeah,
00:16:55 --> 00:16:58 it would be funny either way. I think Either
00:16:58 --> 00:17:02 way, it'll just be funny. Yeah. Yeah, like what
00:17:02 --> 00:17:04 are they supposed to be doing right there? I
00:17:04 --> 00:17:08 stand by what I said I had two wolves inside
00:17:08 --> 00:17:13 me the whole time thinking, uh, are we going
00:17:13 --> 00:17:15 to take the out? I think I've literally heard
00:17:15 --> 00:17:18 that before. Like I heard that and then the,
00:17:18 --> 00:17:22 uh, the, uh, what do you call it? That I forgot.
00:17:22 --> 00:17:23 I think it's like this Japanese thing that says
00:17:23 --> 00:17:26 that we'd wear different like masks or whatever.
00:17:26 --> 00:17:28 And that like, you know, like you have a mask
00:17:28 --> 00:17:30 that you wear in front of your friends and family,
00:17:30 --> 00:17:32 and then you have a mass that you wear like by
00:17:32 --> 00:17:33 yourself. And then the one that you show the
00:17:33 --> 00:17:36 rest of the world. And I think about that too,
00:17:36 --> 00:17:38 because I'm like, that accurately depicts who
00:17:38 --> 00:17:44 I am, because who I am by myself is not the same
00:17:44 --> 00:17:47 as when my girlfriend's around, and I'm just
00:17:47 --> 00:17:50 a lot different and everything like that. And
00:17:50 --> 00:17:56 do you find that your onstage persona is vastly
00:17:56 --> 00:18:01 different from your actual persona? Yeah, I think
00:18:01 --> 00:18:06 so. I mean, nah. I'm just quiet a lot like if
00:18:06 --> 00:18:08 you if people see me out in the wild out and
00:18:08 --> 00:18:10 about They see me perform and they expect me
00:18:10 --> 00:18:12 to just be like a little over -the -top sometimes,
00:18:12 --> 00:18:15 but I'm kind of just like quiet yeah, and then
00:18:15 --> 00:18:18 it takes me like a good like 12 to 18 months
00:18:18 --> 00:18:21 to warm up to you and then I can be like my Rambunctious
00:18:21 --> 00:18:24 stage self with you, you know, but I love the
00:18:24 --> 00:18:27 specificity. Yeah I was just talking about with
00:18:27 --> 00:18:30 my friend Mars Martian the other day. I was like
00:18:30 --> 00:18:34 I've known you almost three years now And so
00:18:34 --> 00:18:37 uh, oh bless you. I was like I've known you almost
00:18:37 --> 00:18:39 three years now So I feel like we can finally
00:18:39 --> 00:18:41 like be friends like I can just be chill I can
00:18:41 --> 00:18:44 be myself so it is myself, but it's just turned
00:18:44 --> 00:18:46 out It's a fearless Lindsay because I don't care
00:18:46 --> 00:18:48 what you have to say in that moment, but when
00:18:48 --> 00:18:50 you're in real -life interactions There's always
00:18:50 --> 00:18:52 some level of concern about what comes next,
00:18:52 --> 00:18:53 you know, it's like when I'm up there I know
00:18:53 --> 00:18:56 exactly what comes next because it's my it's
00:18:56 --> 00:19:07 my whole thing, you know Excuse me. Sorry This
00:19:07 --> 00:19:09 nose right here is like it's such a terrible
00:19:09 --> 00:19:11 fucking French nose. Will you bleep those out?
00:19:17 --> 00:19:19 I Really hope this is like actually recording.
00:19:19 --> 00:19:21 I don't even know if it is. Let's see. I have
00:19:21 --> 00:19:26 no idea what Added in post right just added.
00:19:26 --> 00:19:29 Oh my god. That would be terrible adding like
00:19:29 --> 00:19:33 a 50 beeps. Yeah. Oh Shit, dude. We said it a
00:19:33 --> 00:19:39 lot But um, no, yeah, that's that's that's really
00:19:39 --> 00:19:41 interesting because you know that I'm kind of
00:19:41 --> 00:19:44 the same way But it's do you find that you're
00:19:44 --> 00:19:47 you're sort of like open and shut with like different
00:19:47 --> 00:19:51 people? Yeah, yeah, I find that way too like
00:19:51 --> 00:19:53 Some people I'm very open with and some people
00:19:53 --> 00:19:56 I'm like, I don't like you. It just, yeah, it
00:19:56 --> 00:19:59 just takes me time. I just, my default is like,
00:19:59 --> 00:20:01 it's not that I dislike people, but my default
00:20:01 --> 00:20:03 is that I don't really know you. So why should
00:20:03 --> 00:20:08 I? Yeah. Why should I invest my energy? Yeah.
00:20:08 --> 00:20:11 You know? Sure. I don't know. How does like,
00:20:11 --> 00:20:15 how does like the open Lindsay differ from the
00:20:15 --> 00:20:17 closed Lindsay? Like what would somebody like
00:20:17 --> 00:20:22 who is very close to you see differently? I love
00:20:22 --> 00:20:25 doing crowd work. I'd have a couple jokes that
00:20:25 --> 00:20:27 I've crafted just so that I could open it up
00:20:27 --> 00:20:30 with some awkward crowd work. I like talking
00:20:30 --> 00:20:32 to people and getting to know like, hey, what's
00:20:32 --> 00:20:33 your name? What do you do? And I'm just very
00:20:33 --> 00:20:37 open and confident. And then face to face, it's
00:20:37 --> 00:20:39 not really that much like that. It's like, oh,
00:20:39 --> 00:20:42 OK, yeah, cool. Good to meet you. And then I
00:20:42 --> 00:20:46 space out. It's kind of a spacer. I think I disassociate
00:20:46 --> 00:20:48 a lot. I get nervous and I just disassociate.
00:20:48 --> 00:20:50 So if you see me looking unpleasant and I'm out
00:20:50 --> 00:20:53 in public, just imagine I'm in an art studio
00:20:53 --> 00:20:56 in an imaginary house that my therapist built
00:20:56 --> 00:20:59 from the ground up for me. Hey, that's a great
00:20:59 --> 00:21:01 place to be, though. It smells good in there.
00:21:03 --> 00:21:07 In my mind, I'm still looking for my house. In
00:21:07 --> 00:21:10 my mind, I'm still building. So it's really awesome
00:21:10 --> 00:21:14 that you kind of have some kind of... foundational
00:21:14 --> 00:21:17 area, safe space in your head, right? Yeah, I
00:21:17 --> 00:21:21 think it's necessary, especially because, like,
00:21:22 --> 00:21:24 people, since Kill Tony, and I'm very grateful
00:21:24 --> 00:21:26 whenever anybody knows who the heck I am, like,
00:21:26 --> 00:21:31 it's a huge ego boost, but it can also get a
00:21:31 --> 00:21:34 little overwhelming for me sometimes. Like, if
00:21:34 --> 00:21:39 I'm in my own head and people... will come up
00:21:39 --> 00:21:41 and talk to me like they know me and then I'll
00:21:41 --> 00:21:43 be racking my head for three days about it because
00:21:43 --> 00:21:44 I'm like, I know that I'm supposed to know that
00:21:44 --> 00:21:46 person. And it turns out I didn't know that person
00:21:46 --> 00:21:48 at all. They just knew me because they saw me
00:21:48 --> 00:21:50 on Kill Tony. And the whole time I'm thinking
00:21:50 --> 00:21:53 like, hey, pal, great to see you again. Is it
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56 again? Like, so it's just hard to keep track
00:21:56 --> 00:21:59 of. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's odd I find that
00:21:59 --> 00:22:02 with a lot of comedians. At like, at my job,
00:22:03 --> 00:22:04 basically, like I find that with a lot of comedians.
00:22:04 --> 00:22:07 If I meet any comedians and they knew, if they
00:22:07 --> 00:22:09 didn't know who I am, I'm like, who the fuck
00:22:09 --> 00:22:13 are you? Yeah, I'm sorry. Do we do we meet? You
00:22:13 --> 00:22:16 know, it's like it is a very confusing thing,
00:22:16 --> 00:22:18 you know. So but but you're killed, Tony. It
00:22:18 --> 00:22:21 was pretty like it was pretty infamous on like
00:22:21 --> 00:22:24 it was really put out there a lot. So I can only
00:22:24 --> 00:22:28 imagine like a ton of people coming up to you
00:22:28 --> 00:22:30 randomly, especially if you're just in your head,
00:22:30 --> 00:22:32 you know. Yeah, a couple of the nurses at the
00:22:32 --> 00:22:36 hospital, they waited until the day I discharged
00:22:36 --> 00:22:38 to tell me that they knew who I was. and thought
00:22:38 --> 00:22:41 it was funny. And I was like, oh, some extra
00:22:41 --> 00:22:43 cigarette breaks would have been nice in there,
00:22:43 --> 00:22:48 but thanks. Right, hey, fucker. Yeah. Oh my gosh,
00:22:48 --> 00:22:54 that's nuts. Yeah. So aside from the Mages showcase
00:22:54 --> 00:22:59 and your comedy writing, do you have any more
00:22:59 --> 00:23:01 stuff that you're like, any more goals that you
00:23:01 --> 00:23:05 have set in mind as far as comedy goes? Yeah,
00:23:05 --> 00:23:08 I mean. The goal is always the same. I want,
00:23:08 --> 00:23:10 you know, I want all the exposure. I want to
00:23:10 --> 00:23:12 be able to tour eventually. I want to be able
00:23:12 --> 00:23:15 to make my living doing that and not, you know,
00:23:16 --> 00:23:17 moving people's bags around at a hotel. I'd like
00:23:17 --> 00:23:20 to completely quit that. It's happening in stages.
00:23:20 --> 00:23:24 Yeah. Um, I love, I love being on the big, the
00:23:24 --> 00:23:27 big stages. People get nervous, like, oh, is
00:23:27 --> 00:23:29 kill Tony scary? There's like hundreds of people
00:23:29 --> 00:23:32 there or whatever. And it's like, no, that feels
00:23:32 --> 00:23:36 the best. Oh, I just disconnected my. Oh, you
00:23:36 --> 00:23:38 did? I got it. We're back. Hell yeah. Welcome
00:23:38 --> 00:23:41 back. See, I got nervous. We got it. We're handling
00:23:41 --> 00:23:45 things. We're good. That's it. Yeah, so you'd
00:23:45 --> 00:23:48 rather be on like a bigger stage. Yeah, that's
00:23:48 --> 00:23:51 my goal. I just want opportunities for my bookings.
00:23:51 --> 00:23:55 If I have to keep proving myself, I will. Because
00:23:55 --> 00:23:58 that seems to be what it takes. I just... I'm
00:23:58 --> 00:24:01 having some good luck when it comes, especially,
00:24:01 --> 00:24:03 like you said, to Mages, having a platform there,
00:24:03 --> 00:24:06 and then just getting out there a little bit
00:24:06 --> 00:24:09 more and just trying to be undeniably funny.
00:24:11 --> 00:24:15 All the politics and aesthetics and bullshit
00:24:15 --> 00:24:17 aside, that's just what I want. I just want to
00:24:17 --> 00:24:19 get bookings because I'm funny and I want to
00:24:19 --> 00:24:22 make people laugh. Yeah. Do you have a favorite
00:24:22 --> 00:24:25 topic or subject that you like to approach when
00:24:25 --> 00:24:34 you write? I write too many race jokes, but I
00:24:34 --> 00:24:37 don't know if that's, it's probably just my best
00:24:37 --> 00:24:40 friend's black, so I use that. Like I got a pass
00:24:40 --> 00:24:41 like 15 years ago and I've just been running
00:24:41 --> 00:24:51 with it ever since. Topical, I'm trying to think
00:24:51 --> 00:24:58 about topical stuff. Let's see, I'm exploring
00:24:58 --> 00:25:03 the mental hospital stuff in my mind. Yeah, so
00:25:03 --> 00:25:04 just like dark mix with whimsy, things that hurt
00:25:04 --> 00:25:06 me. I like to write about things that hurt my
00:25:06 --> 00:25:08 feelings, because then they don't hurt my feelings
00:25:08 --> 00:25:11 anymore. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Taking it out
00:25:11 --> 00:25:13 and putting it right there in front of you and
00:25:13 --> 00:25:16 just being like, no, fuck you, dude. Yeah, yeah,
00:25:16 --> 00:25:19 exactly. I totally get it. I try to do that too.
00:25:19 --> 00:25:22 I'm kind of learning how like... I don't know,
00:25:22 --> 00:25:25 I'm kind of learning how detached from everything
00:25:25 --> 00:25:27 I actually am because of that comedy writing.
00:25:28 --> 00:25:32 As far as therapy goes, I think that every therapist,
00:25:32 --> 00:25:35 and I only really did this once, every therapist
00:25:35 --> 00:25:37 is like, all right, you need to keep a journal,
00:25:38 --> 00:25:40 and we need to go back and read that journal
00:25:40 --> 00:25:42 to see where you're at in your head space. And
00:25:42 --> 00:25:45 I was like, no. But the second I'm thinking to
00:25:45 --> 00:25:47 myself, I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna write
00:25:47 --> 00:25:50 jokes. Oh, I've got like 20 notebooks for those.
00:25:50 --> 00:25:54 You know, well, I started like kind of journaling
00:25:54 --> 00:25:59 to write better jokes. That's a cool idea. Yeah.
00:25:59 --> 00:26:02 And it's it's actually kind of working. It's
00:26:02 --> 00:26:04 kind of weird. You know what I mean? And so I
00:26:04 --> 00:26:07 kind of found that that's starting to like open
00:26:07 --> 00:26:10 up, like where I'm starting to put myself out,
00:26:10 --> 00:26:12 like on the page. And then I'm starting to realize
00:26:12 --> 00:26:17 I'm like, oh, I'm really boring. No. I think
00:26:17 --> 00:26:19 anybody can be boring when they're written about
00:26:19 --> 00:26:23 in a boring way. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a terrible writer.
00:26:24 --> 00:26:28 But do you have any areas of your writing that
00:26:28 --> 00:26:31 you're like, man, I really want to improve upon
00:26:31 --> 00:26:34 this if I can. I want longer bits. I'm not a
00:26:34 --> 00:26:38 one -liner comic. Yeah. But I'm not a storyteller
00:26:38 --> 00:26:41 by any means. I'd like to be able to have have
00:26:41 --> 00:26:43 some longer bits. I'm good at making it cohesive
00:26:43 --> 00:26:46 and smooth one into the next, but I know what
00:26:46 --> 00:26:49 the jokes are start to finish. So I've been trying
00:26:49 --> 00:26:52 to just write longer, just longer bits overall.
00:26:53 --> 00:26:57 Oh, okay, cool. So more along the lines of story
00:26:57 --> 00:26:59 kind of jokes and everything, huh? Yeah, just
00:26:59 --> 00:27:01 leaning in that direction a little bit. Yeah,
00:27:01 --> 00:27:03 do you have do you have like a 30 to 45 minute
00:27:03 --> 00:27:06 like kind of Set that you're wanting to like
00:27:06 --> 00:27:08 work towards or is it more just like I just want
00:27:08 --> 00:27:11 a solid like five to ten right now Oh, no, I'm
00:27:11 --> 00:27:15 working towards 30 now. Nice. I can I can do
00:27:15 --> 00:27:17 it Like I told Tony Angecliffe like I can give
00:27:17 --> 00:27:20 him and this was six months ago It's like I can
00:27:20 --> 00:27:23 give you a really really phenomenal 20 or I can
00:27:23 --> 00:27:27 give you a pretty good 30 35 Yeah, so you're
00:27:27 --> 00:27:29 working on that phenomenal 30. Yeah. That dirty
00:27:29 --> 00:27:32 30. Exactly. Hell yeah. That's pretty cool. That's
00:27:32 --> 00:27:34 pretty cool. Do you have like an, like sort of
00:27:34 --> 00:27:38 an outline kind of frame of mind? Like when you
00:27:38 --> 00:27:40 approach like kind of longer sets like that or?
00:27:41 --> 00:27:44 The longest set I've ever done was 20. And then
00:27:44 --> 00:27:46 I just kind of felt out the crowd and just flowed
00:27:46 --> 00:27:48 with it. Like I know what my bits are and then
00:27:48 --> 00:27:51 I was just. If I try to get too structured, if
00:27:51 --> 00:27:53 I sit down and, like, write everything I want
00:27:53 --> 00:27:55 to do and try to order it, then it makes me go
00:27:55 --> 00:27:59 in my own head and I fuck it up. But if I'm just
00:27:59 --> 00:28:01 like, all right, here's what I've been working
00:28:01 --> 00:28:02 on lately, and that's in the back of my mind,
00:28:02 --> 00:28:04 then I kind of just flow with it because that
00:28:04 --> 00:28:06 helps me gauge the room a little bit better,
00:28:06 --> 00:28:08 too, I think, instead of going up there with
00:28:08 --> 00:28:10 such a rigid idea of what I want to do. It's
00:28:10 --> 00:28:13 like, now, what do you fucks want to hear? Try
00:28:13 --> 00:28:18 to be prepared for that. Yeah, I love it when...
00:28:17 --> 00:28:22 when you can get a good idea about who you're
00:28:22 --> 00:28:24 performing in front of. You know what I mean?
00:28:25 --> 00:28:29 Do you have a pretty good turnout at Mages when
00:28:29 --> 00:28:31 a lot of comics come? It seemed like you did
00:28:31 --> 00:28:33 when I was there. Yeah, we're getting a lot of
00:28:33 --> 00:28:35 comics for the open mic. We're still working
00:28:35 --> 00:28:36 on our crowd for that. We got a couple people
00:28:36 --> 00:28:39 every week. But the crowd turnout for the showcase
00:28:39 --> 00:28:42 was pretty good. I think we had about 20 people
00:28:42 --> 00:28:44 show up. It's not a very huge space, so that
00:28:44 --> 00:28:48 was pretty good. And intimate feeling. But we
00:28:48 --> 00:28:50 can pack 120 chairs in there, so that's my goal,
00:28:50 --> 00:28:53 eventually, is to just word -of -mouth marketing
00:28:53 --> 00:28:57 and just keep going on the street and marketing.
00:28:57 --> 00:28:59 I went to a strip club for the first time, marketing
00:28:59 --> 00:29:02 that show, that showcase. Oh, really? Which one?
00:29:02 --> 00:29:05 The Yellow Rose. I tried to see if they'd let
00:29:05 --> 00:29:07 me put up a flyer. They didn't. But I got to
00:29:07 --> 00:29:12 see some titties, so... I feel like you do things
00:29:12 --> 00:29:17 to, like, that just create humor. Yeah, I mean
00:29:17 --> 00:29:20 yeah think outside the box, right? Yeah, that's
00:29:20 --> 00:29:24 I love that You're like, yeah, I need to go you
00:29:24 --> 00:29:27 go pass out flyers. Oh, there's a strip club.
00:29:27 --> 00:29:30 Yeah, I love that. You know loves comedy lonely
00:29:30 --> 00:29:33 men Possibly women with titties who want to be
00:29:33 --> 00:29:35 around where the lonely men go it seemed like
00:29:35 --> 00:29:37 a win -win They didn't they want they were really
00:29:37 --> 00:29:41 nice. They're very sweet. Yeah No. Really nice,
00:29:41 --> 00:29:43 really sweet, but absolutely not that kind of
00:29:43 --> 00:29:46 thing. No flyers. No flyers. I might try again
00:29:46 --> 00:29:48 this time because Aya is headlining and she's
00:29:48 --> 00:29:49 a woman. So it's like, well, there's a woman
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51 on the flyer. It's not like Munford, like this
00:29:51 --> 00:29:55 big burly dude. So maybe. But she's dressed honestly,
00:29:55 --> 00:29:58 so I don't know how, it might be a hard no again,
00:29:58 --> 00:30:01 but I'll try. I mean, she's hilarious, you know?
00:30:01 --> 00:30:02 Yeah, but they don't know that at the Titty Bar.
00:30:02 --> 00:30:05 They don't know that at the Titty Bar. I apologize.
00:30:06 --> 00:30:08 I told them not to cut anything out of this.
00:30:08 --> 00:30:12 I'm not making any insinuations. They might be
00:30:12 --> 00:30:15 a little bit more inclusive when it comes to
00:30:15 --> 00:30:20 a differently gendered show. Aya and myself...
00:30:20 --> 00:30:26 had a very short conversation at the creek because
00:30:26 --> 00:30:30 she was asking me about being positive, because
00:30:30 --> 00:30:35 I'm just a kooky positive kind of feller. And
00:30:35 --> 00:30:39 so, I kind of forgot how the conversation went,
00:30:39 --> 00:30:42 but basically she was asking me about that. And
00:30:42 --> 00:30:44 essentially she was saying that she felt as if
00:30:44 --> 00:30:47 she was more of like a realist in some ways.
00:30:47 --> 00:30:53 And me, I'm more I don't know. I kind of live
00:30:53 --> 00:30:56 in a fantasy world. Yeah, same. You know what
00:30:56 --> 00:30:58 I mean? Same. I'm just kind of like, everything's
00:30:58 --> 00:31:02 good. Everything's great all the time. I don't
00:31:02 --> 00:31:05 like hearing about the bad shit. I don't want
00:31:05 --> 00:31:07 to even be... I don't want that entering my life,
00:31:07 --> 00:31:10 because I know that I fully, fully absorb that
00:31:10 --> 00:31:12 kind of thing. I think it's a trauma response.
00:31:13 --> 00:31:16 Interesting. What's your blood type? Oh negative,
00:31:16 --> 00:31:19 I think haha. There you go. See I'm be positive
00:31:19 --> 00:31:24 Very misanthropic It's got to be something to
00:31:24 --> 00:31:36 that I Love that so much That's what it is Be
00:31:36 --> 00:31:40 positive. Yeah, see I love that. Is it please
00:31:40 --> 00:31:42 is that one of your bits? No, but should it be?
00:31:44 --> 00:31:49 Talking oh great. I love that minds be positive.
00:31:49 --> 00:31:52 So that's what you should do I love that play
00:31:52 --> 00:31:56 around with it now Yeah, that's so good. That's
00:31:56 --> 00:31:59 so good. Yeah, and that's exactly on the realm
00:31:59 --> 00:32:01 of what we're talking about. I'm like tearing
00:32:01 --> 00:32:05 up. I love that. That is so funny. Thank you.
00:32:05 --> 00:32:09 I'm here as long as you'll have me. Yeah. I love
00:32:09 --> 00:32:11 that kind of stuff. I love it when people do
00:32:11 --> 00:32:12 that kind of thing, like when they like have
00:32:12 --> 00:32:14 play on words or like whether they play with
00:32:14 --> 00:32:19 themselves. Wait. His room's a little small.
00:32:21 --> 00:32:23 I meant like, you know, a self -deprecating kind
00:32:23 --> 00:32:25 of humor. You know what I mean? Like, that's
00:32:25 --> 00:32:27 kind of, that's totally what I meant. You know,
00:32:27 --> 00:32:29 but I love it when people are able to, like,
00:32:30 --> 00:32:32 to do those kind of things, you know? Like, do
00:32:32 --> 00:32:34 you have a kind of, like, a favorite sort of,
00:32:34 --> 00:32:37 like, humor that you just thoroughly enjoy? Self
00:32:37 --> 00:32:40 -deprecation. Yeah. I love it. I'm always going
00:32:40 --> 00:32:42 to beat you to the punch, you know? So I think
00:32:42 --> 00:32:44 it'd be really good in a roast battle because
00:32:44 --> 00:32:46 you can't hurt it. It's physically impossible
00:32:46 --> 00:32:48 to hurt my feelings. Or like how bad it would
00:32:48 --> 00:32:50 be in the roast battle if they roasted you and
00:32:50 --> 00:32:55 then you roasted you. Whoa, that's good. That's
00:32:55 --> 00:32:56 really good. You're just like agreed with them.
00:32:56 --> 00:32:59 You're like, you're right. Yeah. I called somebody
00:32:59 --> 00:33:02 out for a roast battle. I don't think he wants
00:33:02 --> 00:33:05 to roast battle me probably because like obviously
00:33:05 --> 00:33:07 he's really good. So he'll probably win. But
00:33:07 --> 00:33:09 there's a good chance that I will win also because
00:33:09 --> 00:33:13 I'm insane. I asked Frank Caesar if he wanted
00:33:13 --> 00:33:16 to roast battle me. Oh, yeah. At the at the major
00:33:16 --> 00:33:19 show. And so Michael Ridley, if you're watching
00:33:19 --> 00:33:24 this, I put the line in the water and, I don't
00:33:24 --> 00:33:26 know, there's some chum or something. Yeah, take
00:33:26 --> 00:33:28 them down. It's chumming up. I don't know. Somebody's,
00:33:29 --> 00:33:31 I think that'd just be really fun. Just get them.
00:33:31 --> 00:33:34 Yeah. Just be like, fuck them off. I want a creative,
00:33:34 --> 00:33:36 I want a creative roast immersive experience.
00:33:37 --> 00:33:40 Yeah. Have you ever done a roast before? I've
00:33:40 --> 00:33:43 done three roasts, three roast battles, one flirt
00:33:43 --> 00:33:45 battle, and I've won all of them, but I haven't
00:33:45 --> 00:33:48 done the roast battle Austin yet. A flirt battle?
00:33:48 --> 00:33:50 Yeah. I've never even heard of that. What is
00:33:50 --> 00:33:52 that? Celia Contreras put that together. It was
00:33:52 --> 00:33:55 a Valentine show. Yeah. And essentially it was
00:33:55 --> 00:33:57 just like sexual harassment with a bow on top.
00:34:00 --> 00:34:04 Oh, man. Just like, I won. Wow. You got him,
00:34:04 --> 00:34:07 huh? Yeah. You should mix up the two, like a
00:34:07 --> 00:34:09 flirt and a roast and just like, just fucking
00:34:09 --> 00:34:13 hit them. Yeah. Make it real weird for everyone.
00:34:13 --> 00:34:16 Just make it like, what the fuck is this? Awkward
00:34:16 --> 00:34:19 laughter still laughter. Yeah. Oh, I love it.
00:34:19 --> 00:34:22 I really do any kind of anything that makes you
00:34:22 --> 00:34:24 like also like like that, you know, that feeling
00:34:24 --> 00:34:28 of just being like, huh? Yeah, all the time.
00:34:28 --> 00:34:31 Oh, my God. That's why I love the office. Yeah.
00:34:31 --> 00:34:34 Is it because there's just so much of that? Oh,
00:34:34 --> 00:34:36 God. Yeah. I don't know what it is. That's how
00:34:36 --> 00:34:38 I feel in my head all the time. Every time I
00:34:38 --> 00:34:40 say something in public that's not on stage,
00:34:40 --> 00:34:46 that's how I'm going in my head. Yeah, do you
00:34:46 --> 00:34:49 have like a thing like that people do publicly
00:34:49 --> 00:34:52 that make you feel like more awkward? You know,
00:34:52 --> 00:34:55 like, OK, so for example, for me, like, I really
00:34:55 --> 00:35:00 I will run out of a line. if anybody is, like,
00:35:00 --> 00:35:03 behind me in line and they just look like they're
00:35:03 --> 00:35:06 impatiently waiting. Oh, yeah. You know what
00:35:06 --> 00:35:07 I mean? Like, I have, like, weird things like
00:35:07 --> 00:35:10 that. Like, I also, like, if I'm all... I just
00:35:10 --> 00:35:12 don't like people being behind me for any reason
00:35:12 --> 00:35:14 whatsoever. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's
00:35:14 --> 00:35:16 like, even if I am in a line, I'm just uneasy,
00:35:16 --> 00:35:18 you know? Yeah. That's like a back to the wall.
00:35:18 --> 00:35:21 That's like a mafia and military thing, right?
00:35:21 --> 00:35:24 I think so. Yeah. Always needing your egress.
00:35:24 --> 00:35:26 Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's like, you know, you
00:35:26 --> 00:35:28 just always got to know your way out. You know,
00:35:29 --> 00:35:30 yeah, I don't like when people get too close
00:35:30 --> 00:35:34 to me Like if I don't know them like and it kind
00:35:34 --> 00:35:35 of makes me look like an a -hole sometimes even
00:35:35 --> 00:35:37 though I don't mean to be like I was talking
00:35:37 --> 00:35:39 again and I'll circle back a little call back
00:35:39 --> 00:35:41 I was talking to Mars at on Monday night and
00:35:41 --> 00:35:43 some guy comes up behind us like so close to
00:35:43 --> 00:35:45 us and it's like Crouched down behind us on the
00:35:45 --> 00:35:48 stage and he's just talking talking talking and
00:35:48 --> 00:35:50 talking to Trey I look over at Mars. I'm like,
00:35:50 --> 00:35:52 who the fuck is this guy? It's like do we know
00:35:52 --> 00:35:55 him? And I was like, no, I'm sorry. I didn't
00:35:55 --> 00:35:56 mean it like that. It's been like you're really
00:35:56 --> 00:36:01 close to me I know I know comics. Holy fuck.
00:36:01 --> 00:36:06 They love to get like right the fuck here I know
00:36:06 --> 00:36:08 like whenever I see him at the creek or something
00:36:08 --> 00:36:10 like that. They will just get right here. What's
00:36:10 --> 00:36:13 up, dude? How's it going? I was like, bro, like
00:36:13 --> 00:36:16 I smell you deodorant or lack thereof if the
00:36:16 --> 00:36:21 me too movement hadn't died man, I'd be What
00:36:21 --> 00:36:27 is that me is that you oh That's weird I'm sorry.
00:36:27 --> 00:36:30 No, no, it's OK. Let's see. That's strange. Did
00:36:30 --> 00:36:34 I do something? Wait. Hello? Tess, it's off now.
00:36:34 --> 00:36:36 It's good? No, it's off. It's completely off.
00:36:36 --> 00:36:39 But I don't need it. Yeah, OK. Yeah, we can just
00:36:39 --> 00:36:40 roll without it if you want. Yeah, I'll just
00:36:40 --> 00:36:45 pretend. That's so weird. I'll have to get more
00:36:45 --> 00:36:47 different headphones. Oh, wait. Here, let me
00:36:47 --> 00:36:52 turn this on. There we go. So you have the me
00:36:52 --> 00:36:55 to movement the me to movement was still a thing
00:36:55 --> 00:36:58 I would be in my bread and butter right now because
00:36:58 --> 00:37:01 Everybody especially comics for some reason a
00:37:01 --> 00:37:03 lot of comics are really short, right? Yeah,
00:37:03 --> 00:37:05 everybody's like tit level with me So they get
00:37:05 --> 00:37:08 really close to talk to me and they're like practically
00:37:08 --> 00:37:11 motorboating me. I would be so much further ahead
00:37:11 --> 00:37:19 in life if I could be like Yeah, me too Hey!
00:37:20 --> 00:37:23 Your eye level. I've never once thought about
00:37:23 --> 00:37:26 karate chopping you. Yeah, yeah. There are a
00:37:26 --> 00:37:28 lot of short people. Lots of short people. Yeah,
00:37:29 --> 00:37:32 a lot of short people. Is your family, they're
00:37:32 --> 00:37:34 all tall or is it like you're just, you happen
00:37:34 --> 00:37:38 to be a tall one? Where Machote's at. My mom
00:37:38 --> 00:37:42 is five three. I have two sisters. They're both
00:37:42 --> 00:37:44 in the mid fives, they're very small. My great
00:37:44 --> 00:37:47 grandfather was six foot eight. So it kind of
00:37:47 --> 00:37:50 just trickled down a couple generations right
00:37:50 --> 00:37:52 into me. And then, yeah, or I got switched at
00:37:52 --> 00:37:56 birth, which is if it wasn't for like the illness,
00:37:56 --> 00:37:59 I think that would be possible. Right. Right.
00:38:00 --> 00:38:03 Oh, man, I was just in the wrong basket. Well,
00:38:03 --> 00:38:05 good news is you get high. Bad news is you're
00:38:05 --> 00:38:11 probably going to die of cancer. What a day Well,
00:38:11 --> 00:38:13 I am off my meds so you can never really tell
00:38:13 --> 00:38:15 I usually tell people I'm usually funnier when
00:38:15 --> 00:38:19 I'm off my meds. Yeah I'm like in small doses
00:38:19 --> 00:38:24 in small doses. That is a thing Yeah, so do you
00:38:24 --> 00:38:26 do you like find that you quickly pull yourself
00:38:26 --> 00:38:31 out of like like lives pretty much like I do
00:38:31 --> 00:38:33 that sometimes like when I feel like people like
00:38:35 --> 00:38:39 I feel like maybe I'm being a bit much for people
00:38:39 --> 00:38:42 so then I will be like Let me take a break and
00:38:42 --> 00:38:45 I'll pull out. I wish I had that skill Yeah,
00:38:45 --> 00:38:46 if it's one of those days, it's one of those
00:38:46 --> 00:38:49 days. I just buckle up I go for the ride. Yeah.
00:38:49 --> 00:38:52 Yeah, you just like fucking I'm giving everything
00:38:52 --> 00:38:55 I got yeah Yeah, I mean I try I try not to be
00:38:55 --> 00:38:59 too weird, but it happens. Yeah Some people like
00:38:59 --> 00:39:01 it some people don't but I think I'm doing alright.
00:39:01 --> 00:39:03 Yeah, I get it though I get it because I'm I've
00:39:03 --> 00:39:06 always been like the same the same way. Like,
00:39:06 --> 00:39:08 you know, like I've always been like, like we
00:39:08 --> 00:39:11 even as a kid, like I was taking like Ritalin,
00:39:11 --> 00:39:13 you know, and shit like that. Like, so I've always
00:39:13 --> 00:39:16 been like hyperactive, crazy, like outgoing,
00:39:16 --> 00:39:20 you know, and like, and a lot of people can only
00:39:20 --> 00:39:22 take that in small doses. Yeah, I'm not very
00:39:22 --> 00:39:24 hyper. I think I'm pretty I have pretty chill
00:39:24 --> 00:39:27 energy for I have chill, chaotic energy for the
00:39:27 --> 00:39:30 most part. Yeah, yeah. I wish I could be chill.
00:39:31 --> 00:39:33 So but oh, yeah, I think we're talking about
00:39:34 --> 00:39:39 Being tall Hmm. Yeah, right and then and then
00:39:39 --> 00:39:44 I said tends to come up. Yeah, but Yeah, exactly.
00:39:45 --> 00:39:47 Yeah. No, I uh Yeah, my family and my family.
00:39:47 --> 00:39:50 I'm like one of the the tall ones too It's like
00:39:50 --> 00:39:52 me and my brother and then everybody else is
00:39:52 --> 00:39:54 small. Yeah, you know, and I don't know why I
00:39:54 --> 00:39:56 don't know why You know, it's weird how that
00:39:56 --> 00:39:59 works out. Yeah, every family just needs somebody
00:39:59 --> 00:40:02 to get stuff from the top shelves That's true.
00:40:02 --> 00:40:05 Yeah Maybe that's a reason to believe in God.
00:40:06 --> 00:40:09 My poor mother would have broken her neck on
00:40:09 --> 00:40:12 a chair if it wasn't for me. I got it, mother.
00:40:13 --> 00:40:14 There you go. It's like, why was the mayonnaise
00:40:14 --> 00:40:16 all the way up there? I don't know. Well, because
00:40:16 --> 00:40:18 I put it there because I like to feel needed.
00:40:19 --> 00:40:22 Yeah. I just, I just, inconvenient to your life,
00:40:22 --> 00:40:24 so you would need me. I just want you to want
00:40:24 --> 00:40:26 me, mom. Will you look at me now? She's like,
00:40:26 --> 00:40:30 that's a cheap trick. Yeah. Yeah, so are you.
00:40:30 --> 00:40:35 That's why I was born. Wait, wait, wait, do I
00:40:35 --> 00:40:37 have that? I think I do have that, actually.
00:40:38 --> 00:40:43 Wait, let me see. No, no, that's a, wait. Wait,
00:40:43 --> 00:40:46 wait, I don't know. I'm really glad my mom doesn't
00:40:46 --> 00:40:51 know how to use the internet. Yeah, yeah, she
00:40:51 --> 00:40:52 doesn't know how to use the internet. No, I think
00:40:52 --> 00:40:54 she'd like to think she is, but she's not going
00:40:54 --> 00:40:56 to find this podcast. I'm not going to send that
00:40:56 --> 00:40:59 clip to her or anything. So I can literally say
00:40:59 --> 00:41:02 whatever I want. This is your world. You could
00:41:02 --> 00:41:06 say whatever you want. Yeah. So speaking of which,
00:41:07 --> 00:41:10 mom, if you're watching what you're not, because
00:41:10 --> 00:41:12 I'm not going to send you this. Yeah. Yeah. We
00:41:12 --> 00:41:15 don't want your mom to see that. No. Yeah. Does
00:41:15 --> 00:41:19 she watch any of your comedy stuff? Sometimes
00:41:19 --> 00:41:25 I think so. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She she uh My mom
00:41:25 --> 00:41:28 doesn't think I'm very funny. Oh, no. No, she
00:41:28 --> 00:41:31 thinks I should talk about pleasant things more
00:41:31 --> 00:41:34 Like what would be what would be like her style
00:41:34 --> 00:41:37 of humor? Oh, I don't know one time she like
00:41:37 --> 00:41:41 One time she like cut a hole out of a wall We
00:41:41 --> 00:41:43 were living in Palm Springs a wall in the living
00:41:43 --> 00:41:45 room and she was crawling around inside the wall
00:41:45 --> 00:41:46 because she thought that there were bugs there
00:41:46 --> 00:41:49 From the government listening to us And I think
00:41:49 --> 00:41:51 she loves telling that story. She thinks that's
00:41:51 --> 00:41:53 hilarious. So I think if I just start taking
00:41:53 --> 00:41:57 meth, then we'll probably be more on the same
00:41:57 --> 00:42:01 page. Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah, well, yeah, it does.
00:42:01 --> 00:42:04 It does work like that, I guess, every now and
00:42:04 --> 00:42:06 again. Sometimes sometimes they are. Yeah. You
00:42:06 --> 00:42:08 know, I was a kid. How am I? But they could have.
00:42:10 --> 00:42:13 Yeah, I mean, that's yeah, that sounds that sounds
00:42:13 --> 00:42:15 pretty intense. I've had I've had like, you know,
00:42:15 --> 00:42:17 crazy things like growing up like that. But luckily,
00:42:17 --> 00:42:20 my mom You know, she just worked a lot. That
00:42:20 --> 00:42:23 was her thing. You know what I mean? Workaholic.
00:42:23 --> 00:42:26 Yeah, workaholic kind of deal. So she just, she
00:42:26 --> 00:42:28 worked a lot. You know, there were a bunch of
00:42:28 --> 00:42:30 us. How many siblings do you have? I have two
00:42:30 --> 00:42:32 sisters. Two sisters? Yeah. I actually have a
00:42:32 --> 00:42:35 half brother who I don't even mention many more
00:42:35 --> 00:42:38 though, because after the Kill Tony thing, after
00:42:38 --> 00:42:40 he saw me shake Joe Rogan's hand, after that
00:42:40 --> 00:42:42 last appearance, he called me and said that I
00:42:42 --> 00:42:46 was no longer welcome in his life. Just for shaking
00:42:46 --> 00:42:50 Joe Rogan's hand. Yeah for being a part of He's
00:42:50 --> 00:42:53 like a Ultra his he has blue hair my brother.
00:42:53 --> 00:42:57 Okay. Yeah, so wait. What are they? They call
00:42:57 --> 00:42:59 it like liberal. He's very liberal He's super
00:42:59 --> 00:43:02 duper duper liberal and he thinks I should just
00:43:02 --> 00:43:04 be disgusted with everything that's happening
00:43:04 --> 00:43:07 everywhere And it's like I'm just trying to make
00:43:07 --> 00:43:10 my dreams happen Yeah, not you know never really
00:43:10 --> 00:43:13 gave that much of a shit about a lot of stuff
00:43:13 --> 00:43:15 mm -hmm Maybe not a good or a bad way, but yeah,
00:43:15 --> 00:43:18 I have a half brother out there in the world.
00:43:19 --> 00:43:22 Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Well, I'm sorry about that.
00:43:22 --> 00:43:27 That sucks. It's funny. Yeah, that's crazy. We
00:43:27 --> 00:43:30 do not have to get into it at all because, but
00:43:30 --> 00:43:34 I'm just curious because I'm not very political
00:43:34 --> 00:43:37 at all. I don't really know. Anything really
00:43:37 --> 00:43:39 about politics? I really don't have an opinion.
00:43:39 --> 00:43:42 Are you a political kind of person? I'm not very
00:43:42 --> 00:43:45 political, but I'm also very lazy. So if Mumdani
00:43:45 --> 00:43:47 could just take over the country and start giving
00:43:47 --> 00:43:50 me a socialist allowance, that's whatever I want
00:43:50 --> 00:43:54 to do. You see, I don't even know what the fuck
00:43:54 --> 00:43:56 that means. I feel like I'm so far behind on
00:43:56 --> 00:43:59 anything, you know, politically. I feel like
00:43:59 --> 00:44:01 I've been off the earth for like a while. Yeah,
00:44:01 --> 00:44:04 I just want some welfare and I'll be OK. Right.
00:44:04 --> 00:44:06 And you can do what you want, say what you want,
00:44:06 --> 00:44:09 I don't care. Welfare. Yeah, just give me some
00:44:09 --> 00:44:11 money, you know? Yeah, just something. Yeah,
00:44:11 --> 00:44:13 just something. Give me some kind of allowance.
00:44:14 --> 00:44:18 Fuck, I'll even go on WIC. Yeah. Yeah, I will.
00:44:18 --> 00:44:20 I think you can get like milk and stuff, crackers.
00:44:21 --> 00:44:24 Milk and crackers? Yeah. For us crackers, you
00:44:24 --> 00:44:27 know? Yep. They say it's bread and water, but
00:44:27 --> 00:44:31 WIC is milk and crackers. Yeah, you know, I don't
00:44:31 --> 00:44:34 even know. To be honest with you, this is why
00:44:34 --> 00:44:36 I have a problem talking about myself, because
00:44:36 --> 00:44:42 I'm like, what am I? Dear God, what am I? Why
00:44:42 --> 00:44:47 am I? What is this about? Yeah, I don't know.
00:44:47 --> 00:44:52 I don't align myself really with anything. I
00:44:52 --> 00:44:55 like when things make me laugh, and that happens
00:44:55 --> 00:45:00 on both sides. I also... I don't know. I like
00:45:00 --> 00:45:02 when things are exciting. So yeah. Could there
00:45:02 --> 00:45:05 be a civil war? Maybe while I fight in it? No,
00:45:05 --> 00:45:09 definitely not. But I'll watch. Yeah. Like from
00:45:09 --> 00:45:13 like you ever seen the Patriot, you know, like
00:45:13 --> 00:45:15 from the porch, just like watching a war going
00:45:15 --> 00:45:19 on like, wow, this is not very good now. I'll
00:45:19 --> 00:45:21 have my my discharge paperwork from the hospital
00:45:21 --> 00:45:23 with me. Like you see, I'm not qualified to hold
00:45:23 --> 00:45:27 this musket. I can't be holding this damn musket.
00:45:28 --> 00:45:30 Why do y 'all have muskets in the forest place?
00:45:31 --> 00:45:33 Well, because we live in the south, so I imagine.
00:45:33 --> 00:45:36 Come here, you son of a bitch! Get back here.
00:45:37 --> 00:45:42 Just a bunch of people with muskets on lime scooters.
00:45:42 --> 00:45:46 Yeah, on lime scooters. Pew, pew, pew! You know
00:45:46 --> 00:45:48 when they fall off and shit? I remember watching
00:45:48 --> 00:45:53 The Revenant, and Leonardo DiCaprio poured the
00:45:53 --> 00:45:56 black powder in his mouth. And then he went like,
00:45:57 --> 00:45:59 into the, like he dumped it into the musket.
00:46:00 --> 00:46:04 And I was like, is that how they did that? It's
00:46:04 --> 00:46:06 dedication. I'm like, why, why wouldn't you just
00:46:06 --> 00:46:08 pour it in the thing? I don't know. Like, I don't
00:46:08 --> 00:46:11 know. I'm not a musket guy. I'm not a big musket
00:46:11 --> 00:46:13 guy. He just wanted to taste. He just wanted.
00:46:13 --> 00:46:16 Could I? Could I? Is it getting better? You know,
00:46:16 --> 00:46:20 technically I could do this. Halfway there you're
00:46:20 --> 00:46:22 halfway there Jim. Yeah, it tastes like shit.
00:46:22 --> 00:46:26 But yeah, that's good Is this the last thing
00:46:26 --> 00:46:30 I want to taste? Yeah, he accidentally shoots
00:46:30 --> 00:46:33 himself Yeah, he's like his eyeballs fly out,
00:46:33 --> 00:46:37 you know, whoa. I hope it's a 3d movie Did you
00:46:37 --> 00:46:40 imagine? It's like dude fucking and then he has
00:46:40 --> 00:46:42 to like pack his eye again. Like oh damn it.
00:46:42 --> 00:46:45 Okay Are we writing a movie right now? I feel
00:46:45 --> 00:46:47 like this should be a treatment I don't even
00:46:47 --> 00:46:49 know where we're going, but I'm just I'm just
00:46:49 --> 00:46:51 going with the flow. It's great That's what we
00:46:51 --> 00:46:54 write in a movie. Yeah. Yeah, I met this guy
00:46:54 --> 00:46:56 named Andrew. He's the one who converted me to
00:46:56 --> 00:46:58 Mormonism actually Yeah, and he writes horror
00:46:58 --> 00:47:02 screenplays Really? Yeah for who like any kind
00:47:02 --> 00:47:04 of studio or anything like independently and
00:47:04 --> 00:47:05 then he sends him around like he has an agent
00:47:05 --> 00:47:08 and stuff I'm gonna shop this idea with him later
00:47:08 --> 00:47:11 do that. Yeah, Johnny musket eyes Johnny musket
00:47:11 --> 00:47:15 eyes Just like dude, he's gonna pack his eyes
00:47:15 --> 00:47:17 back in he's like, I just fucking fired my eyes
00:47:17 --> 00:47:20 out I'll see if we're on to something. Yeah.
00:47:20 --> 00:47:23 Yeah, let him tell you let him be like, well,
00:47:23 --> 00:47:26 you know, this is concept It's already been explored
00:47:26 --> 00:47:28 heavily watch he steals our idea and wins an
00:47:28 --> 00:47:32 Oscar That's son of a bitch. He'd never Mormons
00:47:32 --> 00:47:34 are too nice. He'd never do that. I'm like, all
00:47:34 --> 00:47:36 right, that's it. I'm gonna fucking get this
00:47:36 --> 00:47:38 Where's my musket at? All right. Where the fuck
00:47:38 --> 00:47:41 is my musket, dude? You're filling up your mouth
00:47:41 --> 00:47:43 already. Where's my musket in my busket, dude?
00:47:45 --> 00:47:48 You about to busket son, and I'm gonna get you
00:47:48 --> 00:47:51 bro God damn. Yeah, I could I could see that
00:47:51 --> 00:47:54 shit not happening anytime soon But that would
00:47:54 --> 00:47:57 be kind of cool to have a movie like that Yeah,
00:47:57 --> 00:47:59 do you have a favorite comedian? Maria Bamford
00:47:59 --> 00:48:03 oh Gosh, she's amazing since I was a kid. I was
00:48:03 --> 00:48:06 itty -bitty when I saw her yeah on Comedy Central
00:48:06 --> 00:48:09 on a Friday night, and I was like It was the
00:48:09 --> 00:48:11 coolest thing I'd ever seen in my whole entire
00:48:11 --> 00:48:14 life and to this day like that's somebody recently
00:48:14 --> 00:48:18 asked me like if I could be anybody For a baseball
00:48:18 --> 00:48:20 game in the afternoon and just pick their brains
00:48:20 --> 00:48:23 like who would it be and she was my answer Absolutely.
00:48:23 --> 00:48:26 Yeah, didn't she just come here or isn't she
00:48:26 --> 00:48:31 coming here um? She was at, didn't do Moon Tower,
00:48:31 --> 00:48:35 I think, she did Cap City. I still have not seen
00:48:35 --> 00:48:37 her live. Really? Yeah, isn't that a travesty?
00:48:38 --> 00:48:42 Yeah, no, I haven't either. You know, but I do,
00:48:42 --> 00:48:46 I do love her. She's the first time, I think
00:48:46 --> 00:48:50 Maria Bamford was like the first time that I
00:48:50 --> 00:48:55 saw a comedian who like shape shifted in front
00:48:55 --> 00:48:58 of my eyes. Yeah. Like I know you have your Jim
00:48:58 --> 00:49:01 Carries, you know, like Robin Williams, you know,
00:49:02 --> 00:49:04 like like Pablo Francisco or somebody who's just
00:49:04 --> 00:49:07 like extremely goofy and just very animated like
00:49:07 --> 00:49:11 Dane Cook, but they're always themselves. They're
00:49:11 --> 00:49:14 just in that exaggerated animated version of
00:49:14 --> 00:49:18 that. But Maria Bamford can turn into somebody
00:49:18 --> 00:49:22 else entirely. Yeah, totally. Yeah, she's incredible.
00:49:22 --> 00:49:24 Yeah, it's wonderful. I think it comes from having
00:49:24 --> 00:49:26 like a fractured sense of self. You can like
00:49:26 --> 00:49:30 tap into other stuff easily. Yeah. And I and
00:49:30 --> 00:49:32 when I was like just starting out comedy, like
00:49:32 --> 00:49:35 I would I experimented with my own version of
00:49:35 --> 00:49:38 that, like my characters. There was a while where
00:49:38 --> 00:49:40 I purposely sounded really nervous just to see
00:49:40 --> 00:49:42 how it would work out. Yeah. And I kind of felt
00:49:42 --> 00:49:44 derivative. So I didn't. So I'm just kind of
00:49:44 --> 00:49:48 myself. But she she can do that while still maintaining
00:49:48 --> 00:49:52 being her. like a true, authentic artist and...
00:49:52 --> 00:49:55 Yeah, it's really wild. It's so cool, dude. Yeah,
00:49:55 --> 00:49:57 my favorite character that she does is that,
00:49:57 --> 00:50:02 just that corporate bitch persona. Yeah, right.
00:50:03 --> 00:50:06 Just that, then, hi, how are you doing? You know,
00:50:06 --> 00:50:07 that kind of thing with the way, you know, obviously
00:50:07 --> 00:50:11 the way that she does it. And it's like magic
00:50:11 --> 00:50:14 watching her do that. You know, there's a movie
00:50:14 --> 00:50:17 coming out. There's a movie? She has a movie
00:50:17 --> 00:50:21 coming out? Yeah, about her about what's it called?
00:50:21 --> 00:50:23 And why don't I know about this? It's I think
00:50:23 --> 00:50:28 it's done by Judd Apatow. I think let's see.
00:50:28 --> 00:50:31 It is I forget the name of it, but it's like
00:50:31 --> 00:50:36 I wish I had the the way to be like, pull it
00:50:36 --> 00:50:40 up, Jamie, you know. See, my knowledge is so
00:50:40 --> 00:50:43 dumb, like I don't know about this movie coming
00:50:43 --> 00:50:45 out, but I know that she was never allowed to
00:50:45 --> 00:50:47 use soap growing up because her dad's a dermatologist.
00:50:48 --> 00:50:51 Wow all the useless information. Thank you for
00:50:51 --> 00:50:53 enlightening me on good stuff. Oh, you're actually
00:50:53 --> 00:50:57 you're actually right I mean, I'm not saying
00:50:57 --> 00:50:59 you wouldn't be but like but just to vindicate
00:50:59 --> 00:51:03 what you're saying It's called paralyzed by hope
00:51:03 --> 00:51:05 the Maria Bamford story and this is what pulled
00:51:05 --> 00:51:08 up when I googled it This is paralyzed by hope
00:51:08 --> 00:51:11 the mere man for story is a 26 documentary film
00:51:11 --> 00:51:14 co -directed by Judd Apatow and then explores
00:51:14 --> 00:51:16 Maria Bamford's life career and mental health
00:51:16 --> 00:51:20 struggles, including OCD, anxiety, and suicidal
00:51:20 --> 00:51:23 ideation, which she transforms into material
00:51:23 --> 00:51:26 for her unique and honest comedy. So that's going
00:51:26 --> 00:51:31 to be coming out, I don't know, sometime, I don't
00:51:31 --> 00:51:35 know, sometime this year. But I'll send you the
00:51:35 --> 00:51:37 thing, but Paralyzed by Hope. Well, I cannot
00:51:37 --> 00:51:42 wait. Yeah, I'm very excited to see that. Yeah,
00:51:42 --> 00:51:44 I hope it's not already out. Like the way that
00:51:44 --> 00:51:46 I am is like movies will be out and I'm like,
00:51:46 --> 00:51:50 oh dude, did you know Dune 2 is coming out? I
00:51:50 --> 00:51:52 hope it is out. I want to watch it today. It
00:51:52 --> 00:51:56 is. I think it's weird. You're reading that synopsis
00:51:56 --> 00:51:58 and it's like, so I saw this person performing
00:51:58 --> 00:52:00 when I was a little kid and it resonated with
00:52:00 --> 00:52:02 me like deeply to where that's when I was like,
00:52:02 --> 00:52:04 okay, this is what I want to do when I grow up.
00:52:04 --> 00:52:07 And then I grow up to be a very similar, a person
00:52:07 --> 00:52:10 who has experienced very similar struggles. And
00:52:10 --> 00:52:12 it's like, that's so weird, right? Like, are
00:52:12 --> 00:52:14 we out of the womb crazy? Or like, when does
00:52:14 --> 00:52:18 it develop? Because it's very simpatico my whole
00:52:18 --> 00:52:22 life apparently. Yeah, yeah. Humor for me has
00:52:22 --> 00:52:28 always been a huge, like a huge like just letting
00:52:28 --> 00:52:33 it out kind of thing. I feel bad because a lot
00:52:33 --> 00:52:36 of times like I've joked during Seemingly inappropriate
00:52:36 --> 00:52:38 times and things like that and it's like it's
00:52:38 --> 00:52:40 not that I didn't mean any kind of disrespect
00:52:40 --> 00:52:43 It's just that it's sort of like it's just where
00:52:43 --> 00:52:46 my mind goes Yeah, you know, are you kind of
00:52:46 --> 00:52:48 like that too? like is it a humor as a coping
00:52:48 --> 00:52:52 mechanism or is it like more like humor as Like
00:52:52 --> 00:52:54 sort of like ironing out the wrinkles kind of
00:52:54 --> 00:52:58 deal. I don't ever purposely like try to be funny
00:53:01 --> 00:53:06 I kind of just open my mouth and have very little
00:53:06 --> 00:53:09 filter. And then most of the time it works and
00:53:09 --> 00:53:12 sometimes it doesn't. But yeah, I think it's
00:53:12 --> 00:53:14 coping. I think it's like a self -soothe kind
00:53:14 --> 00:53:18 of deal. Self -soothe kind of thing. Yeah, sure.
00:53:19 --> 00:53:22 I could see that too. Just getting that reaction,
00:53:22 --> 00:53:25 you know? Right. Like whether it's intentional
00:53:25 --> 00:53:28 or not like some people I know some great crafts
00:53:28 --> 00:53:31 like some comics are on a different level crazy
00:53:31 --> 00:53:33 Like they'll craft a conversation just to be
00:53:33 --> 00:53:35 able to say what they want to say. That's not
00:53:35 --> 00:53:37 me But boy do I sure feel vindicated when I can
00:53:37 --> 00:53:40 get one in there, you know, sure they'll craft
00:53:40 --> 00:53:44 a conversation. Mm -hmm What the hell you never
00:53:44 --> 00:53:48 noticed that? Well, maybe what does that look
00:53:48 --> 00:53:51 like like leading a conversation? For you to
00:53:51 --> 00:53:53 get to a particular topic or so they can say
00:53:53 --> 00:53:56 the funny thing that they wanted to say It's
00:53:56 --> 00:54:01 like not active listening. Oh, I see Yeah, yeah,
00:54:01 --> 00:54:05 I think I think so and I think you can like you
00:54:05 --> 00:54:08 can kind of see that they're doing that Mm -hmm.
00:54:08 --> 00:54:13 Sometimes yeah, and like yeah, I think so I just
00:54:13 --> 00:54:16 yeah never put a word to that. Mm -hmm Yeah,
00:54:16 --> 00:54:19 because you can kind of see it, especially around
00:54:19 --> 00:54:22 a lot of comics. You're just like, OK, I know
00:54:22 --> 00:54:24 what you're doing. It makes you not want to talk
00:54:24 --> 00:54:29 anymore. It happens a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
00:54:29 --> 00:54:31 that does. That does happen quite a bit, doesn't
00:54:31 --> 00:54:34 it? It has to be organic. It has to be organic.
00:54:35 --> 00:54:38 Yeah. And then it's like, nobody wants to see
00:54:38 --> 00:54:40 you do magic. Everybody else is just trying to
00:54:40 --> 00:54:43 do magic, too. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's
00:54:43 --> 00:54:45 like, it's one thing to like work on things,
00:54:45 --> 00:54:47 but it's like, you know, let's understand that
00:54:47 --> 00:54:50 we're working on things. We're all magical. And
00:54:50 --> 00:54:52 then I'll say things. And then after the fact,
00:54:52 --> 00:54:53 I'm like, wait, that should have been funny,
00:54:53 --> 00:54:55 but they just cringed. What did I do? So then
00:54:55 --> 00:54:57 I'll reassess after the fact. Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:54:57 --> 00:55:01 I do that to you sometimes. If I say something
00:55:01 --> 00:55:04 that I think is funny to like, I guess, like
00:55:04 --> 00:55:07 a normal person, you know, and they don't laugh,
00:55:07 --> 00:55:09 that's when I'm like, what the fuck did I do
00:55:09 --> 00:55:13 wrong? Yeah, yeah. Like, where did I go wrong?
00:55:13 --> 00:55:15 And then I implode. I'm one of those, like, are
00:55:15 --> 00:55:19 they mad at me? Are they mad at me? Yeah. You
00:55:19 --> 00:55:21 know, I'm one of those people. I default to everyone
00:55:21 --> 00:55:25 is mad at me all the time, so. OK, so you do
00:55:25 --> 00:55:28 that too. Oh, dude, yeah. Yeah, I do that very
00:55:28 --> 00:55:30 heavily. Yeah. And I feel bad for my girlfriend,
00:55:31 --> 00:55:32 because she's like the victim of it entirely.
00:55:33 --> 00:55:36 You know, because I just, you know, she'll be
00:55:36 --> 00:55:38 like, hey, babe, I made you some sandwiches for
00:55:38 --> 00:55:40 work. And I'm like, oh, thank you, sweetie. Are
00:55:40 --> 00:55:43 you mad at me? Well, at least you're saying it
00:55:43 --> 00:55:46 like that. Yeah. Why are you mad at me? She's
00:55:46 --> 00:55:49 like, I'm not fucking mad at you. Sometimes I'm
00:55:49 --> 00:55:51 an asshole just because I assume that you're
00:55:51 --> 00:55:52 mad at me. And you're not even mad at me, so
00:55:52 --> 00:55:57 I'm just being a dick for no reason. Got like
00:55:57 --> 00:55:59 split on people because they didn't answer my
00:55:59 --> 00:56:01 call. And it turns out like their dog was dying.
00:56:01 --> 00:56:03 And I'm like, so I guess you're just not. You're
00:56:03 --> 00:56:06 not a figure in my life anymore. Oh my God. Yeah,
00:56:06 --> 00:56:08 I've done that so much too. Like we're like,
00:56:08 --> 00:56:11 they didn't talk to you for four hours. And next
00:56:11 --> 00:56:14 thing you know, you're like completely imploding.
00:56:15 --> 00:56:18 Yeah. Yeah. I've done that so many fucking times.
00:56:19 --> 00:56:21 And then the second that they talk to you, you
00:56:21 --> 00:56:24 forgive them. Yeah. Well, cause it's like, Oh
00:56:24 --> 00:56:28 yeah. Oh, I'm crazy. I forgot. Yeah. Yeah. The
00:56:28 --> 00:56:31 second you talk to them, you're like, Oh, I'm
00:56:31 --> 00:56:34 so happy to hear from you. Don't read your texts.
00:56:35 --> 00:56:38 Hey, what's up? You left me on read for 37 minutes,
00:56:38 --> 00:56:43 but I'm not counting. Yeah, I'm not like emotionally
00:56:43 --> 00:56:46 fucked right now because of that hiatus that
00:56:46 --> 00:56:48 we just went on. I know, right? I thought you
00:56:48 --> 00:56:51 were my best friend, but... Right, we were supposed
00:56:51 --> 00:56:53 to be cool together. Hey listen, I thought we
00:56:53 --> 00:56:55 got married. I thought that was a thing, but
00:56:55 --> 00:56:57 like I guess... You know, you didn't call me.
00:56:57 --> 00:57:00 It took you a couple hours. So what's her name,
00:57:00 --> 00:57:06 right? Yeah. What is OK, so so I feel like I
00:57:06 --> 00:57:08 feel like people have gotten to know you, like,
00:57:08 --> 00:57:10 you know, and kind of how you are a little bit
00:57:10 --> 00:57:13 more like in in this whole thing. But what is
00:57:13 --> 00:57:15 something that like, you know, you're comfortable
00:57:15 --> 00:57:17 with saying that you think that people would
00:57:17 --> 00:57:22 be surprised to know about you? I used to live
00:57:22 --> 00:57:25 a very, very parallel life to pro wrestling.
00:57:26 --> 00:57:30 a parallel life to pro wrestling. Please go on.
00:57:31 --> 00:57:34 So I loved wrestling and I was actually, I wanted
00:57:34 --> 00:57:36 to be a wrestler and I was like learning moves
00:57:36 --> 00:57:38 and I was like doing like a little bit of training
00:57:38 --> 00:57:40 and stuff and I was dating this wrestler who
00:57:40 --> 00:57:43 worked for Diamond Dallas Page. So all of a sudden,
00:57:43 --> 00:57:45 and we dated for a few years, so then all of
00:57:45 --> 00:57:47 a sudden I'm like in this world where like...
00:57:47 --> 00:57:53 I like know all these like old WWF guys and like
00:57:53 --> 00:57:56 WCW guys and like Diamond Dallas Page grabbed
00:57:56 --> 00:57:59 my ass three times at a barbecue like right in
00:57:59 --> 00:58:01 front of the guy I was dating Yeah, and used
00:58:01 --> 00:58:02 to say things to me like oh if you just lost
00:58:02 --> 00:58:05 70 more pounds, you know, you'd be so hot One
00:58:05 --> 00:58:08 time I shaved Scott Hall's shoulders. He would
00:58:08 --> 00:58:10 say that to you? Yeah, he said that to me. What
00:58:10 --> 00:58:12 the fuck? Yeah, don't gloss over the fact that
00:58:12 --> 00:58:16 I shaved Scott Hall's shoulders Excuse my razor
00:58:16 --> 00:58:19 Ramon because he was my neighbor. What the hell?
00:58:19 --> 00:58:23 Yeah, it's a So you were just straight up like
00:58:23 --> 00:58:26 in the pro wrestling like circuit. Yeah, I wasn't
00:58:26 --> 00:58:27 well I mean, I just knew a lot of those guys.
00:58:27 --> 00:58:32 I have like lots of cool pictures Been to like
00:58:32 --> 00:58:35 People's houses that it's like blows my mind
00:58:35 --> 00:58:38 like Cody Rhodes was like the WW champion. I
00:58:38 --> 00:58:39 don't watch anymore I don't know. Is he still
00:58:39 --> 00:58:42 the champ? Oh, I don't know. Yeah. Anyway, like
00:58:42 --> 00:58:45 I don't know Been to his house, like... I'm not
00:58:45 --> 00:58:49 really a sports guy. It's weird to... You've
00:58:49 --> 00:58:51 been at Cody Rhodes' house? Yeah. I think I know
00:58:51 --> 00:58:53 who he is, because isn't he that guy that's playing
00:58:53 --> 00:58:55 in the new Street Fighter movie, the dude with
00:58:55 --> 00:58:57 the blonde hair? Yeah. Okay, yeah, that's how
00:58:57 --> 00:58:59 I know who he is, because I was like, oh, dude,
00:58:59 --> 00:59:02 I fucking love Street Fighter. But, oh, that
00:59:02 --> 00:59:05 is fucking nuts. I could have been a great powerhouse
00:59:05 --> 00:59:07 wrestler, but I herniated four discs in my back.
00:59:08 --> 00:59:11 You herniated four discs in your back. How did
00:59:11 --> 00:59:15 you do that? If you feel like getting into it,
00:59:15 --> 00:59:17 I don't want to get in trouble for HIPAA. I really
00:59:17 --> 00:59:18 wanted to learn how to roller skate. That was
00:59:18 --> 00:59:20 like another childhood dream of mine is I wanted
00:59:20 --> 00:59:22 to like be a roller skater because it's like
00:59:22 --> 00:59:23 so graceful and cool and you just, ah, you know.
00:59:24 --> 00:59:27 Absolutely. And I just fell a bunch. And so I
00:59:27 --> 00:59:28 was trying to learn how to play roller derby.
00:59:28 --> 00:59:30 But instead, I just fell on roller skates a bunch
00:59:30 --> 00:59:33 until I herniated all my discs and I couldn't
00:59:33 --> 00:59:35 wrestle or roller skate. And I was like, oh,
00:59:35 --> 00:59:39 damn. I love it until I herniated all of my discs.
00:59:41 --> 00:59:45 I love that. So I herniated every single disc,
00:59:45 --> 00:59:48 every disc in my back. So two dreams died in
00:59:48 --> 00:59:53 one. Kerplop You're like you're like in a hospital
00:59:53 --> 00:59:56 bed like full body cast with the skates still
00:59:56 --> 01:00:02 on I Would have been so good, dude, I would yeah
01:00:02 --> 01:00:05 you herniated every disc that you have And so
01:00:05 --> 01:00:08 there's no roller derby for you in a different
01:00:08 --> 01:00:11 reality I am a graceful roller skater that just
01:00:11 --> 01:00:15 like takes bitches out Not this one. Yeah, you're
01:00:15 --> 01:00:17 like ballerina skate like into everybody like
01:00:17 --> 01:00:21 fuck you That was my dream. To be a roller derby,
01:00:21 --> 01:00:25 like, just fucking badass. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah.
01:00:25 --> 01:00:27 Damn, that's awesome. I even had a team name.
01:00:27 --> 01:00:28 Even though, like, I could barely stand up on
01:00:28 --> 01:00:30 my skates, they gave me a team name. It's Thrill
01:00:30 --> 01:00:33 House. You remember that? You remember that episode
01:00:33 --> 01:00:36 of Simpsons where Milhouse was playing the game
01:00:36 --> 01:00:38 and his high score name is Thrill House? No,
01:00:38 --> 01:00:41 I don't. But that's fucking awesome. Yeah. I
01:00:41 --> 01:00:45 have a tattoo. Milhouse throw house my role my
01:00:45 --> 01:00:47 roller derby name your roller derby name. That
01:00:47 --> 01:00:50 is awesome I think roller derby is like the only
01:00:50 --> 01:00:53 sport that like women do that. I was just like
01:00:53 --> 01:00:55 dude. I wish there was a men's league in that
01:00:55 --> 01:00:58 Yeah, would they use inline skates or would they
01:00:58 --> 01:00:59 use regular skates though? Cuz I always thought
01:00:59 --> 01:01:01 it was kind of gay looking when the refs would
01:01:01 --> 01:01:05 wear regular skates The two and two like they're
01:01:05 --> 01:01:08 wearing the quads. Yeah Yeah, I don't know. I
01:01:08 --> 01:01:10 used to rollerblade when I was younger You know,
01:01:10 --> 01:01:12 like that was like my thing. Do you remember
01:01:12 --> 01:01:15 that movie, the rollerblading movie? Yeah. On
01:01:15 --> 01:01:18 Disney Channel. Brink. Brink. Let's blade. Let's
01:01:18 --> 01:01:21 blade. They settle all their scores. Oh, that's
01:01:21 --> 01:01:25 so cool. Yeah. On the ramp. Yeah. You know. Yeah.
01:01:25 --> 01:01:28 I used to love that fucking movie like so bad.
01:01:28 --> 01:01:31 I used to like want to be like the bad kid. But
01:01:31 --> 01:01:34 I realized I was like, I'm not. I'm just not
01:01:34 --> 01:01:38 a bad guy, you know? I'm way too fucking nice
01:01:38 --> 01:01:40 all the time. You were the good kid all along.
01:01:40 --> 01:01:42 It sucks. It sucks. Because when I was younger,
01:01:42 --> 01:01:45 I thought I was the bad boy. It's all dark and
01:01:45 --> 01:01:47 handsome kind of thing is what I was thinking.
01:01:47 --> 01:01:52 I was like, oh no, I'm fucking weird. But I like
01:01:52 --> 01:01:53 it though. I like it though. Because it's like,
01:01:53 --> 01:01:55 I don't want to be just the generic, all right,
01:01:56 --> 01:02:00 we got the next one. All right, send him out.
01:02:00 --> 01:02:01 You know what I mean? Because like, where are
01:02:01 --> 01:02:03 those guys now? I bet they can't even blade anymore.
01:02:03 --> 01:02:05 They probably can't blade. Yeah. Yeah, probably
01:02:05 --> 01:02:08 can't. But you could. Yeah, I could. And I could
01:02:08 --> 01:02:12 probably rupture all of my discs. Easier than
01:02:12 --> 01:02:14 you would think. Yeah, as soon as you put the
01:02:14 --> 01:02:16 40 at the front, or as soon as you put the four
01:02:16 --> 01:02:18 at the front of the edge, it's like, yeah, things
01:02:18 --> 01:02:21 like that kind of go out the window. Yeah. I'm
01:02:21 --> 01:02:24 like, I think my rollerblading days are probably
01:02:24 --> 01:02:27 over. You know, man, be positive. Be positive.
01:02:28 --> 01:02:32 Oh, you're being so negative right now. It was
01:02:32 --> 01:02:33 a little callback. That's what in the industry
01:02:33 --> 01:02:36 we like to call a callback. It's a comedy podcast
01:02:36 --> 01:02:39 I'm doing. That is good. That is good. I love
01:02:39 --> 01:02:42 that. Be positive. Oh, you're negative. Gosh.
01:02:42 --> 01:02:46 That is good. I love that so much. Is there anything
01:02:46 --> 01:02:48 else that you want to like, you know, put out
01:02:48 --> 01:02:50 to anybody? This is this is your camera here,
01:02:50 --> 01:02:56 if you'd like. Oh, yeah. So I got this cat and
01:02:56 --> 01:03:00 somebody abandoned this cat and I got this cat
01:03:00 --> 01:03:03 and I don't need this cat. So if anybody wants
01:03:03 --> 01:03:05 a really pretty cat, let me know. She's sweet
01:03:05 --> 01:03:08 as pie. But I can't keep I have six animals.
01:03:08 --> 01:03:10 So if anybody wants a cat, you want a cat? Oh,
01:03:10 --> 01:03:14 hell no. But but but I hope that you find a wonderful
01:03:14 --> 01:03:16 home for your cat. If any listeners want a free
01:03:16 --> 01:03:20 cat who's getting fat, let me know. But more
01:03:20 --> 01:03:24 importantly, come to my show on July 24th at
01:03:24 --> 01:03:28 8 p .m. at Mages Sanctum. That's on Woodbury
01:03:28 --> 01:03:30 Drive. It's right next to the Wal -Mart on Ben
01:03:30 --> 01:03:32 White. There's a Chick -fil -A right by there,
01:03:32 --> 01:03:34 too. So you can get food. You can come and laugh
01:03:34 --> 01:03:36 with us. I is going to be headlining. We're going
01:03:36 --> 01:03:41 to have drinks and. BYOB, it's just a great time.
01:03:41 --> 01:03:44 So tickets are 10 bucks on Eventbrite. So buy
01:03:44 --> 01:03:46 your tickets and we'll pack the place out and
01:03:46 --> 01:03:49 have just a gay old time with our quad skates.
01:03:51 --> 01:03:53 Hell yeah. Oh my gosh, that would be amazing.
01:03:53 --> 01:03:56 Can you imagine like roller skating comedy? Oh
01:03:56 --> 01:03:58 my god. Dude, don't even. I'm going to be in
01:03:58 --> 01:04:02 a wheelchair. They don't have a different kind
01:04:02 --> 01:04:06 of four wheels. Yeah, right Everybody's gonna
01:04:06 --> 01:04:08 have their own like Stephen Hawking chair, you
01:04:08 --> 01:04:10 know, I'm just like we all broke our discs mine's
01:04:10 --> 01:04:12 gonna be so bad I'm gonna have to blow, you know
01:04:12 --> 01:04:20 the money to move To put the mic in my hand Right.
01:04:20 --> 01:04:23 So anyway, yeah. Hey, you'll get a golden ticket.
01:04:23 --> 01:04:27 Oh gosh I don't want a golden ticket. I want
01:04:27 --> 01:04:30 to be a regular Right? Yeah. Yeah, just pass
01:04:30 --> 01:04:32 that up. The whole golden ticket thing and just
01:04:32 --> 01:04:35 go right to the regular. Come on. Yeah. Don't
01:04:35 --> 01:04:39 let me look right into the camera. Come on. Make
01:04:39 --> 01:04:42 it happen. Make it happen. Hell yeah. Yeah. Well,
01:04:42 --> 01:04:45 oh my goodness, Lindsey, this has been so much
01:04:45 --> 01:04:47 fun. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank
01:04:47 --> 01:04:49 you for having me. Yeah. Yeah, no, I appreciate
01:04:49 --> 01:04:53 it very much. And here's a little sticker that
01:04:53 --> 01:04:56 I fucked up because I made the fonts different
01:04:56 --> 01:04:59 colors. So the bottom font, you could read with
01:04:59 --> 01:05:02 the top font. You can't, but here you go. Thank
01:05:02 --> 01:05:08 you. Oh, it's lenticulated. Real comics talk
01:05:08 --> 01:05:11 the talk. Yeah. I'm going to put this right on
01:05:11 --> 01:05:15 my phone. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bring one for Trey,
01:05:15 --> 01:05:18 too, by the way, because he was on, obviously.
01:05:18 --> 01:05:21 That was a while ago. There you go. Thank you.
01:05:21 --> 01:05:24 Yeah. I'll put it on his car without him knowing.
01:05:25 --> 01:05:26 Yeah, that'd be awesome. See how long it takes
01:05:26 --> 01:05:29 him to notice. Yeah, that'd be great. Do you
01:05:29 --> 01:05:31 think it's gonna be before or after this episode
01:05:31 --> 01:05:34 comes out that he'll notice? I hope after. After?
01:05:35 --> 01:05:37 I hope. Okay, I do too. I'll let you know. Yeah,
01:05:37 --> 01:05:40 I hope after. Yeah, it's right in plain sight.
01:05:40 --> 01:05:42 Hell yeah. Well, thank you so much, Lindsey.
01:05:42 --> 01:05:45 I really appreciate you coming on. That was wonderful.
01:05:45 --> 01:05:47 Thank you. Thanks for having me. Oh, yeah. Well,
01:05:47 --> 01:05:50 that's it. That's a wrap. That's it. Show's over.
01:05:50 --> 01:05:52 Hell yeah. Bye!